To think dh could be more positive helping dd.

[Sokmonsta]

We're writing the children's Christmas cards. Dh chose to sit with dd while I was supposed to write Ds' (he's 2). Anyway, I haven't got the preschool list so can't. Dh is sitting with dd (4, just started reception this year) and I suggested as she could do with the writing practice, that she writes all the names herself as well as signing the bottom.

Well, dh has a right grump now because dd isn't doing as he expect. She's 4 FFS. Until September she had just been doing mark making at nursery. So instead of praising her for trying, he's telling her how awful her writing is, how rubbish it is. Moaning at her. I've tried the glare. I've tried suggesting I do them with her instead (as long as she writes it's all good practice). But no, he wants to persist. It doesn't help that dh didn't understand they are teaching them cursive. Whilst I also prefer printing first, dd needs to do as she has been learning in school. So am I unreasonable to hide away until its finished, wait until dh buggers off and give dd a big hug for trying and for not getting upset when her dad was being a dick?

Don't let him criticise her and say negative things like that!

Tell him to stop being a twat meanie!

Sorry but I would be stepping in and telling him in no uncertain terms that I would be taking over.

Talk about damaging a childs confidence. I feel so :( for your DD.

I'd split them up. This can only end in tears. Then get him on his own and explain that a four year old can't be expected to be a master calligrapher. Grrr, I feel quite cross on your DD's behalf.

Yabu to hide away.

I would tell dh I wanted to speak to him and tell him to pack it in or let me do it.

I hid cos I don't like confrontation. I felt terrible so I did step in in the end. Sent dd upstairs to look for something and had words with dh. He was a bit surprised but I likened it to some work he has been doing where someone else has been trying to tell him how to do things. He doesn't understand how they are teaching the children letters and writing in school as he hasn't been to any of the meetings. Agreed with him that it wasn't the way I would do it, but she has to follow what she is learning in school otherwise it will confuse her, which is what was happening. Told him he needs to be patient with her, she is only 4 and already says she can't write certain letters when she gets fed up. I've been trying to make it fun for her and this was supposed to be something nice she could do but which helped her writing too. He's apologised to me and to dd for being grumpy and not knowing how she writes at school! She told him 'that's ok daddy, I'll show you' so I had to smile when she got some of the printed sheets out I had done for her. Little teacher in the making. I'm hoping him sitting there listening as she shows him to to write cursive will give her a boost as she's not confident with writing. Although she is on the whole a very confident young lady. I'm determined even more after today that dh won't put her down the same way my dad did to me and have told him that too.

Some parents have incredibly high expectations of their children.

I'm glad he took what you eventually said on board.

And well done for recognising the importance of this for her writing development. So many parents do it themselves because they don't want other parents to see their child's 'untidy' writing, or because it's quicker.

Your DH sounds lovely for admItting he was in the wrong and apologising to you and your DD.