To not like DS :(

[shuffler]

I wasn't sure where to post this I just know that I need help quickly. I've also posted in another category but I know this has a lot of traffic.

My son is 6 months old and I love him with all my heart, I would give up my life and everything in it for him but I don't like him

He always has something wrong with him, first it was colic, then reflux, then he wouldn't latch on anymore so I had to bottle feed him, he won't settle on his own, he's very clingy, he has problems with his kidneys, he's had a blood infection, colds, coughs, reactions to injections and so on.

I know it's not not his fault and I support him through everything he is going through, I give him cuddles and when he was in hospital for his blood infection and kidneys I stayed with him all the time and didn't sleep for 50 hours just to make sure he was ok.

All he ever does is whinge and moan and growl, we see glimpses of 'our' son every now and again and it's so nice and amazing but 90% of the time he dosnt feel like he is ours. I have spoke to DH about this and he feel the same.

We feel like shit parents for feeling this way but what can we do? And when will 'our' son be back for good? Can anyone please help us??

:(

You poor love. Do not give yourself a hard time about this - it sounds really tough. And don't think he is destined to be grumpy - none of us are the person we were at six months!

I clearly remember when I fell in love with my daughter - she was 4 months old and she laughed for the first time. I suddenly saw a person there instead of a grumpy crying machine. I think it's not at all unusual to find the whole thing a slog for ages - babies are really awful hard work and they carry on being hard work as children but the fun times start to happen as well. At the moment of course it's all one way and you fall back on the fact that you love them to get through it but you'd like to enjoy it too. That will come. Don't worry about grumpiness - when he's well he'll be jolly sometimes and then grumpy sometimes.

You are not a crap mum shuffler, it's clear from your post you love your son very much. I too had a very difficult,poorly baby and had moments of wishing I'd never had him (usually after 3 nights of no sleep whatsoever!).
However once he was correctly diagnosed/treated he turned into the sweetest little toddler who was a joy to be around. Please take comfort in the fact it won't always be like this.

I felt a bit like this when my ds was a baby. I was desperate to keep my indifference hidden from him so I acted as though I adored him, held him all the time, co-slept etc (not recommending this, just explaining) and one day I noticed that somewhere along the line I had become besotted with him to the point that my dd asked why I loved him more than her.

What I am trying to say is that you are giving your baby all he needs and that there will be a time when his needs reduce and the enjoyment factor picks up for you. I guarantee you like him as we'll as love him.

I think you are v brave and honest, and clearly a wonderful mum. I hope you get the support you need to keep up your beautiful mothering and to believe that things will get better.