Unknown

[shuffler]

I wasn't sure where to post this I just know that I need help quickly. I've also posted in another category but I know this has a lot of traffic.

My son is 6 months old and I love him with all my heart, I would give up my life and everything in it for him but I don't like him

He always has something wrong with him, first it was colic, then reflux, then he wouldn't latch on anymore so I had to bottle feed him, he won't settle on his own, he's very clingy, he has problems with his kidneys, he's had a blood infection, colds, coughs, reactions to injections and so on.

I know it's not not his fault and I support him through everything he is going through, I give him cuddles and when he was in hospital for his blood infection and kidneys I stayed with him all the time and didn't sleep for 50 hours just to make sure he was ok.

All he ever does is whinge and moan and growl, we see glimpses of 'our' son every now and again and it's so nice and amazing but 90% of the time he dosnt feel like he is ours. I have spoke to DH about this and he feel the same.

We feel like shit parents for feeling this way but what can we do? And when will 'our' son be back for good? Can anyone please help us??

:(

You don't sound like shit parents to me. Quite the opposite.

Have you spoke to anyone about how you feel?

The fact that you recognise these feelings tells me that you are far from shit parents. You know what? I hated the baby phase, couldn't get on with it at all, felt trapped, alone, stressed, all these things that others didn't seem to feel. I am a lone parent, and I think the added pressure was a bit too much AT THE TIME.

However, I got on with it, went through the routines etc, and slowly, the older DD got the more her personality came out, the easier it got for me, and now, at 4 I adore her more each day. I'm happier now than I was when she was a baby. You have been through a lot with your baby, and you've stuck through it, I have every faith the older he gets the more you'll think "bloody hell I love that child"

In the meantime, maybe speak to your GP or look for support.

you haven't had time to relax and feel safe - feel that you are able to keep him safe, too.

you are not shit parents. you are good, loving parents overwhelmed, as anyone would be, by not being able to make things right for your baby.

whoever helped you with the delivery should be able to put you in contact with counsellors who specialise in birth and related trauma. this is such a case - your little one hasn't been well and you haven't been able to gain confidence that you are getting to know the 'real him'.