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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To insist SIL's snappy dog is kept outside when we're visiting?

43 replies

MrsMushroom · 09/12/2012 09:19

DH, our 2 DDs aged 8 and 4 and I are ataying with MIL at the moment. We're here for 5 weeks.

SIL lives down the road with her dog. The dog is some sort of Rotweiller cross and has recently bitten SILs friend on the arse as she walked into SILs house.

MIL has said that it's best if the dog isn't free around the DDs. SIL keeps visiting us and MIL and bringing the dog.

Today the dog was let off the lead in the house and was wandering about....I foolishly never said anything and then as DD aged 8 as kneeling on the floor to pick up plate, the dog made a snapping motion at her leg.

His teeth or mouth didn't connect but the intention was clear. I calmly removed DD and told MIL who put the dog out.

SIL then said "Please dont' talk about him when he can hear."

Wtf? It's a DOG with a questionable temper and it just snapped at my DD!

How I kept my cool I don't know. But I did....and then when everyone had discussed how "He doesn't WANT to do these things...he's a GOOD dog...he's just got a funny edge...he cant help it."

I said "I don't want the dog in the house at all when the DDs are here and if its in the garden, then they're not allowed in it"

(We're in a hot country)

Bastard dog. I am s annoyed at SIL for not saying sorry and for defending her stupid dog.

I like dogs....but this is not to be trusted. She's got some kind of drops for it to calm it and they keep making excuses for it..llike "Oh he's not had his collr on and he feels insecure without it."

Sorry but that's bullshit no? What should I say? Do?

I feel like SIL is being a twat about it all.

OP posts:

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 09/12/2012 11:28

This isn't up to you, it's up to your MiL if you all get together at her house. You are well within your right to not take your children to MILs when the dog is there, but you can't insist that the dog never be there because its not your house.

SIL is being silly over the dog, but then again, that's up to her. If she wants to treat her dog like a baby then that's her prerogative, no one has the right to tell her how to behave if she isn't hurting anyone.

TheMonster · 09/12/2012 11:37

Yes but if you know sil will visit mil and that sil won't have the decency to leave the dog at home, then don't visit mil. It isn't worth the risk.

Original poster

MrsMushroom · 09/12/2012 11:42

Oh FFS> Freddos We are LIVING at MILS for 5 weeks whilst we visit them abroad. This is effectively our home for now.

Same to your Eyore WE LIVE HERE FOR THE MOMENT> I said that n the OP.

OP posts:

acceptableinthe80s · 09/12/2012 11:49

Your sil sounds like an idiot. She has a nervous/aggressive dog and insists on treating it like a human being. Dogs need to be taught they're bottom of the pack. Sounds like this dog should be muzzled around other people/dogs. If she's not careful she'll end up being bitten or worse herself. She clearly should'nt have a dog. Luckily for you you're only there for 5 weeks. If she won't listen to reason then you're simply going to have to go out whenever she visits.

OldBagWantsNewBag · 09/12/2012 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontmindifIdo · 09/12/2012 11:58

Do you have a car? If she brings the dog around, put the DCs in the car, tell your MIL they can't be in the house when the dog is and when can they come back in?

Or put your DCs straight into their bedroom, shut the door and tell your MIL you can't have the DCs around a dangerous dog (keep calling it that, say "but it bit X, if it wasn't dangerous, then it wouldn't have done that." when your SIL complains that it's not.). It's crap, but it's only 5 weeks. Hold your ground, you couldn't forgive yourself if anything happened to your DCs. (I grew up with dogs BTW, I tend to like them, but my family would never tolerate a dog biting anyone)

poachedeggs · 09/12/2012 11:59

Floaty gets it best.

This has nothing to do with the dog's intelligence. It's uncomfortable, people aren't identifying its signals appropriately, and it's escalating its aggression because it has no other options available to it.

SIL needs to keep it behind a locked when your DC are present. Don't let her in if she brings it. It's dangerous, and unkind to the dog.

poachedeggs · 09/12/2012 11:59

*locked door

quoteunquote · 09/12/2012 12:05

I would take your children into one room keep them there until either the dog has been removed from the premises or it has had a muzzle fitted,

even if it is wearing a muzzle I would not allow your children to be in same space as this dog,

your SiL is deluded, if you go along with that someone is going to get seriously hurt.

This dog must wear a muzzle at all times, or be euthanised.

The dog is dangerous as it has not got the concept that it is totally unacceptable to put it mouth on a human, the owner has failed the dog in not training it to never do so,

you are with a very dangerous animal, be very careful and insist the danger is removed immediately.

PartridgeInASpicyPearTree · 09/12/2012 12:20

YANBU. Like floaty and poached say this behaviour doesn't make him a bad dog, but it does mean he shouldn't be running loose in a house with children. It puts them at risk and makes him uncomfortable, so she's not even being kind to him. I have two dogs and would never behave like you're SIL, she's being daft to say the least. She should leave him at home or he should be contained in one room/garden. I always put my dogs away if people are visiting who are uncomfortable with them.

JoJoCK · 09/12/2012 12:45

Op, I think you are being very calm and reasonable with your sil. I'm getting really angry just reading the thread. You have asked your sil politely to keep her aggressive dog away from your dcs, if she doesn't comply it's time to get angry with her - you are in the right!

TheMonster · 09/12/2012 17:05

You said staying, not living. There is no need to be rude. I was on your side.

clam · 09/12/2012 17:17

But a number of people have told the OP not to visit her mil. She's not visiting, she's living there temporarily, hence use of the term "staying."

Shelly32 · 09/12/2012 17:33

Ugh! STAYING/LIVING GET A GRIP!!! There is a child and a 'snappy' dog involved. Do what's best for the child ie. keep it away from the dog!

Shelly32 · 09/12/2012 17:35

Sil is deluded! My mil thinks all dog are safe and they're not!

TheMonster · 09/12/2012 19:40

The title says visit. I wouldn't visit, let alone live, where the dog was likely to be.

MollyMurphy · 09/12/2012 19:48

YANBU OP - just be honest that your not comfortable with the dog and stand firm that it's not to be around your kids. My ILs are the same with their yappy, bitting chihuahua - I've had to be the bad guy but at least I've resolved the problem.

honeytea · 09/12/2012 19:51

If i were you I would sit down and talk to SIL and explain that if her dog does bite your child you will report it and the dog will be put to sleep (I'm not sure about the rules in the country you are in but I think that is the rule in the UK) Put it to her as if you are asking her to keep the dog away to protect the dog from being put to sleep.

YANBU to ask your SIL not to expose your DD's to a dangerous dog.

And wtf is she on about talking about him when he can hear you, I guess you were talking English not barking.

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