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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left a party when DS had a meltdown

17 replies

MoleyMick · 09/12/2012 04:47

I feel very Hmm as have just got back from a party of DSs kindy friend. DS (2.9) was so excited, perhaps over excited and after about 40 minutes was being dreadful - whinging, snatching etc. He really is never usually like this. I tried taking him away to calm down, telling him off etc and he'd be ok for a bit but had two huge meltdowns, biggest he's ever had. I was at a loss, embarrassed,, angry and disappointed so in the end I said my goodbyes and we left.
He was hitting me and screaming all the way to the car, he wanted to see his friend open his present and cut the cake but he was just behaving so horribly.
Did I do the right thing? How do you cope with this?
PS - not in UK, is lunchtime here. Am not taking DS to all night parties!

OP posts:
cheekybaubles · 09/12/2012 04:59

I think you did all you could. It's a shame but things don't always go to plan. That's life.
Maybe try to arrange a little get together, just the two of them today?
Did wonder why you were just back from all nighter? Grin

iloveholidays · 09/12/2012 05:31

Personally I think you did the right thing. It is a shame, but hopefully DS will understand if he acts like this then there are consequences. Fingers crossed he won't do it again...

I had this once when at soft play with DD, never seen her like it before. Anyway, I picked her up and took her home. She's never mucked around there since and still remembers what happens if she did! :)

ChristmasSpiritEndorphins · 09/12/2012 05:41

You did the right thing, don't worry. It would have been too disruptive, and not fair to allow it to continue at someones birthday party. Being a mum is hard sometimes isn't it?

firefliesinjune · 09/12/2012 05:41

You did the right thing. Its not fair to spoil anothers party with bad behaviour and it shows him that you mean what you say. Good job!

Original poster
MoleyMick · 09/12/2012 05:47

Thanks all!! I really didn't want him to disrupt the party for others. It is a shame, one of those days where you think "where did THIS come from??" He's being an angel now, sucking up like mad and keeps hugging his baby sister and telling her he loves her, much to her delight... So hopefully he may think twice next time

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 09/12/2012 05:59

Definitely you di the right thing - however over-excited or whatever he was, he now knows that that sort of behaviour is unacceptable to you and he will miss out. Hopefully he'll learn from it and never do that again.

MrsJamin · 09/12/2012 06:05

Yeah I would do that. Otherwise they learnt they can get away with bad behaviour and also it ruins it for others. I have left plenty of places early because of bad behaviour, sometimes toddlers need a wake up call to say "it really isn't ok to behave like this in public".

We3bunniesOfOrientAre · 09/12/2012 06:37

You did the right thing, it shows him (and maybe his friends too) that it is not acceptable to behave like that and he has a strong mummy who he needs to respect. Children of that age need strong boundaries. Maybe text the host, say he has calmed down now, you hope the rest of the party went well and maybe you could do coffee next week.

lovebunny · 09/12/2012 07:31

you definitely did the right thing. keep talking to him about how to behave in different circumstances. he's small, he'll ge tthe idea eventually.

PottedShrimp · 09/12/2012 07:33

Did the right thing. Been there myself, and it is a nightmare. It will soon be forgotten by the other partygoers, and will be someone elses child next time, so panic not!

pigletmania · 09/12/2012 07:35

Yes you definitely did the right thing

Violet77 · 09/12/2012 07:43

Its the best lesson, mine kniw i will remove them if they bahave like this...because i have.

Don't worry.

Proudnscaryvirginmary · 09/12/2012 07:55

Yes you did the right thing. In fact, bloody well done. As others have said, you've shown him you will carry through a threat now and also there is nothing worse than a mother who allows her child to spoil a party with their behaviour.

All kids have these moments - even the loveliest under five year olds have meltdowns and tantrums.

Sometimes it can help to think about the run up - was he hungry, could you have given him a snack beforehand like banana and a glass of milk? Was he tired?

youarewinning · 09/12/2012 08:04

You did the right thing.

I'll tell about the consequences of not removing them! My DS (now 8) has always been a placid child but at my mums if I ever asked him not to do something she would tell me to leave him alone. His behaviour there got worse with each visit. My attempts to leave were always thwarted with me being the bad guy.
One party he was awful and ended up running over something in the garden with the little tikes car and breaking it. My mum was cross and shouted at DS and actually told me he needed to be taught how to behave in public. I simply told her if she'd allowed me to set the precedent of behaviour from day 1 he wouldn't think he could behave anyway he wanted at Nannies house as he NEVER behaved that way at anyone elses!

Original poster
MoleyMick · 09/12/2012 08:06

Phew! i was really worried you would all say i should have stayed and dealt with it, or was a mean mother! thanks for putting my mind at ease.
We3bunnies - I did text the host, thanked her etc and just said I didn't know what had got into DS! Also wished her DS well as he has a medical procedure tomorrow - she replied, thanked us for coming, and wanted to arrange to meet next week. So at least we aren't blacklisted!
Proud - the party started 1130 and he usually has a nap at 12, so he was tired. He'd had a yoghurt and some nuts before going though, and I made sure he had a quiet morning. And tbh, I'm keen to cut the sleep soon because he's getting up really early - but if delaying his nap results in this, maybe not, eh? Smile

OP posts:
DragonMamma · 09/12/2012 08:08

You definitely did the right thing. I tend to haul my DCs out of things if they behave like this - so they learn and to also make sure they aren't ruining anybody else's party/day out.

Lougle · 09/12/2012 08:09

I've lost count of the number of parties I've had to abort with DD1 (SN). Grim at the time, but there is no point sticking it out and making a scene.

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