School detention

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I know IABU but I feel like a terrible mum

Dd has had some homework issues and her teacher wrote me some messages in her planner which she kept "leaving st school". Dd kept saying she had done this piece if homework to the teacher but told me she had none.

Anyway she was due to get a detention but the head ssud he thought I hadn't seen the notes so the teacher spoke to me about it & said it had to be in by the next day or detention.

I said that to teach dd a lesson she should have to do the detention anyway and teacher said thanks for backing the school up etc etc and she would organise it.

This was 2 weeks ago. Yesterday a note came home from school saying her detention is on Thursday for an hour after school.

This is the date of the end if term performance if the dance club she has been attending all term. I never thought it would clash as I thought the detention would be either last week or the week before.

I really feel like saying she shouldn't do it but I can't, can I. I feel so bad as they were originally going to let her off- it was me who said she needs to learn now before high school next year.

I limos. I feel awful about it. I never thought it would be this week.

I know.

Is it really conflicting messages to say "I am sorry, I made a mistake"?

I'm assuming she's not a Y7 if her brother is also involved, Therefore she was old enough to have know better than to hide her planner and get in this mess in the first place.

Therefore, she is old enough to speak to the relevant people at school and sort it out.

If the show to parents is practice for the next days exam, they may be able to let her off the detention.

Planners and involving parents in HW is stupid in my opinion, DC need to learn to sort it out themselves.

I'm happy to help with HW when DDs are stuck, proof for DD1, who is dyslexic and remind them to look if they have any HW, but I'm jolly well not attempting to check up on them.

it's not a big deal though is it OP. Just think before you dish out punishments. It's more of a learning curve for you really. You can of course say that you did it in haste etc. up to you. But don't transfer blame to the teacher huh.

She is in Year 6.

The next days exam is separate and is nothing to do with school. That's through her drama school.

The detention is for an hour from 3.30-4.30. The dance performance is at 4.15pm

Detentions after school in Primary? Has the world gone mad? I am a teacher (secondary) and think this is stupid as is homework, but I'm not allowed to say that . And the school is being really unreasonable to organise it on a night when an activity they have organised is on.
I see your point - you want her to realise that she must do her work - but this all seems very sad and a huge over reaction at 10 years old.

She's 11. And there are multiple activities every night after school

Detention is a fairly new thing and is supposed to be a final warning type punishment for serious/persustent offenders that merits more than missing playtime or going to see the head but not serious enough for suspension.