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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my MIL / DH should contact FIL's other family?

4 replies

Bitofaquandary · 08/12/2012 19:04

This is a really tricky situation so I'll try and explain it. FIL married when he was young and had three children. Years later he met MIL and he left his wife and children. The children were in the picture until DH was about 6 when they suddenly disappeared and DH didn't even know they were his siblings until last year. We found out when they wrote to us, which was quite a surprise for DH. There is no relationship between FIL and the first three children and there is a lot of anger from the children and they say that he abandoned them because MIL made him. He has also refused to have any contact with them or his grandchildren. When he learned of the email to DH he was very angry and "dealt with it" and we haven't heard anything since.
Now FIL is ill, old and frail and doesn't have long left and I am upset with the idea that he has children and grandchildren out there who won't have a chance to make peace and say goodbye. I also believe that he would like to have that chance too but MIL is a real battleaxe and would never suggest / listen to such an idea from him.
Is this a situation which should be left alone or one which could be made better before it's too late?

OP posts:
quoteunquote · 08/12/2012 19:08

Could DH let them know the situation, they have had to deal with lots of unfair situations, it might be kind not to aid another.

HollyBerryBush · 08/12/2012 19:10

I don't think it's your place to meddle. You think it would be a nice idea. Does FIL wish to contact his children?

MissCellania · 08/12/2012 19:20

I wouldn't say the children would care much about him after the way he has treated them, but I suppose your DH could let them know, if only to make himself feel better.

chrismissymoomoomee · 08/12/2012 19:22

Leave it alone, if your FIL wanted contact he would ask for it. The last thing anyone needs now is to be rejected again.

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