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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to refuse to babysit?

58 replies

BadLad · 08/12/2012 16:41

As in title?

I live with my BiL, SiL and 2 DNs, as well as wifey and MiL.

DNs are 4 and 1. Pains in the neck though they can be, I love them.

However, a family thing has come up, and it wouldn't be appropriate for either I (being foreign and not related) or the nephews (being too young) to go to, so the suggestion is that I babysit them.

I really don't want to, for the simple reason that I would have no idea what to do if there was any problem. I have no siblings or cousins of similar age, and I have never been around kids before.

I think SiL is silly to think it is a good idea to leave them with me for what will be about six hours.

AIBU?

OP posts:

TheUnsinkableTitanic · 08/12/2012 16:43

wifey? wtf
family thing that not appropriate but you are family?

CreamOfTomatoSoup · 08/12/2012 16:44

It's the best way to learn.

IneedAsockamnesty · 08/12/2012 16:45

Are you really that incompetent that you don't know how to deal with a 4 and 1 year old.

Are you under 13

Original poster

BadLad · 08/12/2012 16:45

That's not the issue - I have no desire to go to it. Just want to know am i being rotten in wanting SiL to make other arrangements for her kids?

OP posts:

TisTheSeasonToBeJolly · 08/12/2012 16:46

No I wouldn't babysit anyone elses child if I didn't know what to do with them

Im being nosy now but why do you all live together?

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 08/12/2012 16:46

YANBU but you live with your DNs so should have some idea about what would entertain them, what food they like, their routine etc so looking after them for the day shouldn't be too hard.

I'm also guessing that you have your BIL, SIL, wife etc number in case of emergencies?

Original poster

BadLad · 08/12/2012 16:47

I am not under 13, but if there it an emergency and the worst happened, it would be my fault.

I can speak the language here for everyday uses, but if, say, I needed to call an ambulance, I'm not sure I could describe, say, a child child choking.

OP posts:

lurkedtoolong · 08/12/2012 16:48

You're a real charmer aren't you?

NatashaBee · 08/12/2012 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackeyedsusan · 08/12/2012 16:49

6 hours is quite a long time to start...

pinkyredrose · 08/12/2012 16:49

Maybe for family harmonics you could try it? It may not be as bad as you think and as they're young I expect the DN's would be in bed early.

As it's family I would do it and it'll probably earn you big brownie points too.

Original poster

BadLad · 08/12/2012 16:52

It's not that I don't want to help. I do plenty with them. I just don't want to have sole responsibility for them for a period of a few hours, for their sake. I am worried about the worst happening.

Extended families living together is not uncommon in this country.

No idea why I am being sarcastically described as a real charmer - I presume some wrong grasp of the situation.

OP posts:

WorraLorraTurkey · 08/12/2012 16:56

I don't blame you OP

With the language barrier possibly creating a safety issue/other problems and your total lack of experience...I wouldn't agree to six hours either.

Not for children so young.

SandStorm · 08/12/2012 16:58

I was going to say YABU until you mentioned the language issue.

Narked · 08/12/2012 16:58

Lulabellarama · 08/12/2012 16:59

Reverse AIBU?

Original poster

BadLad · 08/12/2012 17:00

Not a reverse one, Lulu. I assume that means you think I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:

nannynick · 08/12/2012 17:00

6 hours is a long time, especially if the children are awake all that time, so doing daytime care, rather than evening. Whilst you do know the DNs a bit due to living with them, it sounds as if you may not know them that well, so are worried that you won't be able to cope for that length of time. Things can happen, children do get ill and can go downhill fast. However it does not happen that often and their parents I presume would be contactable.

Calling emergency services in a country where you don't speak the language will I suspect be tricky but what are the chances of that actually being needed?

StuntGirl · 08/12/2012 17:01

If the safety angle is the genuine reason then can you not explain it to them from that angle? That you feel uncomfortable having sole responsibility of them for so long given you don't have a good enough grasp of the language?

If its more that you just don't want to be inconvenienced by it then YABU.

longjane · 08/12/2012 17:01

one bad lad you live in house you know the kids
two you dont phone 999 for child child choking you deal with your self this could happen to anyone anytime you tube and learn what to do
three you and your wife could have kids who would want to babysit if you say no now they would say no in future .
four would want to share a house while everyone was out with a babysitter.

if you really dont want to do it you will need a work night away to make it seem right to everyone.

IneedAsockamnesty · 08/12/2012 17:02

Ok fair point given the language barrier

suburbophobe · 08/12/2012 17:05

You need to grow a pair.

Never too late to learn how to take care of kids.

Millions of people all over the world do it single-handedly 24/7.....

Original poster

BadLad · 08/12/2012 17:06

Nanny and stuntgirl, I speak the language for my own purposes, but as I have no kids, and have been in good health since I arrived, medical words aren't my strong point, and I don't want to have to describe a child's symptoms over the phone in a hurry. I suppose the chances of it happening are slim. I am happy to spend time with them, and regularly do so, but knowing that if there is a problem I can call someone else.

As it says in the first post, the reason is simply that I worry about coping with any problem. Part of the six hours is a drive there and back.

I read this back before posting and it sounds more flippant than I want to be - I appreciate your posts.

OP posts:

nannynick · 08/12/2012 17:08

Can you resolve the safety issue by having a neighbour you could call on for help, by doing some basic first aid training (even by watching videos online and reading about it), learning some key phrases to say to ask for help, maybe see if the emergency services have any language specific phone numbers (don't know if any do but you never know they might) or find out what languages the emergency services call centre supports.

MagicHouse · 08/12/2012 17:09

I think if you feel incomfortable then you should explain that. I think if I had little experience of looking after young children and I were in a country where I couldn't speak much of the language, I wouldn't be too happy either. Just be honest, apologise and say you want the best care for them, and you don't think that's you!

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