To want to be offered a fucking cup of tea

[SpoonyFuckersWife]

without asking for one, just once. I'm referring to the weekend here only as dp works all week. I make us lovely dinners/puddings 5/7 times a week.

My dp will just lie there playing on his effing iPhone until I get up and make us tea. Just once it would be nice to be offered. My father always makes my sm a cup of coffee every morning without fail, same as my mum and sd. So I seem to have found a bloke who never thinks to offer something so little for his partner :(

I maybe be a teensy bit hormonal due to being 38 WEEKS FUCKING PREGNANT and never being offered a cup of tea. In the morning my back and ribs are killing me.

Rant over

[TheNebulousBoojum]

'Glad I'm having a ds, I know he will be selfless and kind and generous.'

Exactly, mine usually is, he just needs a bit of a prod sometimes. It is much harder to change anything in a person once they are adult and have got a bit set in their ways. Possible but more challenging.

[FlourFace]

My DP doesn't drink tea, however he often makes me one. I find "stick the kettle on please" does it while he is toasting the crumpets.

[Sarraburd]

Totally sympathise. And that you would like not to have to ask, just to have some care and consideration for once. DH equally hopeless - what annoys me even more though is when he gets himself a cup of tea/toast/glass of wine and doesn't think to get/offer me one too. That is just plain rude.

His worst Incident was morning after I gave birth to DS1. He got up and went downstairs. After a while, I thought "goodness he's been a while getting me tea, he must be making me breakfast in bed too, bless him." sometime later, after calling down the stairs and no answer,
I rang his mobile. He was in Wickes, buying a whole load of stuff to relay the garden path. That was his idea of looking after his family, but I would still have preferred a cup of tea really, the day after giving birth.

[SpoonyFuckersWife]

Thanks London :)

I guess I will persevere with 'stick the kettle on, love' approach.

[FlourFace]

Crikey yes, anyone who is pleased their DH/DP 'helps' around the house - more fool you!

[SpoonyFuckersWife]

Sarraburd sorry but that made me laugh! Wickes ffs!!

[CSIJanner]

Get his iPhone and stick a reminder in his calendar for every single Saturday and Sunday for all eternity that at 0830, he's to get off his sorry arse and make you a cup of tea. Stick a 5 minute reminder for good measure with the alarm set to loud

[SpoonyFuckersWife]

Well, no. I'm just glad I don't have to ask him to clean sometimes like a lot of women on MN seem to have to. I've read lots of threads with women whose partners do f all around the house.

[AmandaCooper]

My DH probably does more around the house than I do but he hates making tea and only does it under sufferance.

[quirrelquarrel]

Poshfrock


Can you have a talk with him and just TELL him? I know it's not what you want, but maybe that's what it takes. Stop cleaning. Just do the washing up when it's starting to annoy you. You're going to have a baby! just drop it all. And hide the bloody iPhone.

[BoulevardOfBrokenSleep]

In defence of your husband (a bit)...

I don't particularly like tea. I mean, I'll drink it with breakfast and all, but I don't get this odd (British?) obsession with having a cup of tea at every quiet moment.

So if I was lying in bed of a morning, I would never ever think, ooh, I'll get up and make a cup of tea now. Because I don't particularly want one and I'd rather stay in bed. But if someone else made tea, I'd have some.

Also, when people come round to my house, I often forget to offer them tea. And if I remember to offer when they arrive, I almost certainly won't remember to offer again during their visit.

[BoulevardOfBrokenSleep]

Um... a Teasmade might sound like a good idea now, but will be a nightmare with a toddler. Unless your bedroom has a shelf 5 feet off the ground, with a plug at the same height? Sorry. The little buggers get into everything...

[OrangePanda]

Men! Haha! You seem so nice that you will always make him tea because you don't want to make it only for you. You are very sweet like a traditional wife. Can you say to him "Darling, my back is in pain and I would love a cup of tea. Please can you make one for me"

Or can you ask the cleaner to make for you and your man?

[Fakebook]

Yes 6 years. It's our anniversary on the 18th. DH now cooks without any prompting from me, he cleans, and he makes breakfast/tea without me asking him. We still are working on feeding the children on time and changing a pooey nappy as soon as it happens. This morning I've left him alone with DS and have reminded him to keep sniffing his bum incase he poos.

On a plus side for me DH always washes and irons his own clothes; something he's been doing since he was 10 years old. That's something I've never had to nag him about.

[mrskeithrichards]

My dad does it for my mum, every morning. Maybe it was part of the marriage vows back then?

[SpoonyFuckersWife]

Oh I never do his laundry, unless I'm chucking stuff in and he's in, I ask if he's got anything.

Once again, the problem is not my inability to ask I always have to ask, that's what annoys me. He never offers.

Just got back from sainsburys with brekkie for myself, bought a nice lunch for myself too and didn't get him anything, which is a first for me.

[ImperialBlether]

A Teasmade shouldn't be your Christmas present! Buy one now and have something else for Christmas. Justify it on the grounds that he isn't making you one and soon you won't have time first thing to make yourself one.

[SpoonyFuckersWife]

I know, that's a bit of a shit gift isn't it. We aren't really doing gifts this year anyway due to baby being due Christmas Eve

[PixieBaby]

If he is being clueless then he isn't going to notice if you stop doing other things. It will just make you feel bitter.

You need to be direct and say that it would really help if he can do XYZ. At 38 weeks pregnant I think you deserve more than the odd cup of tea! Be more demanding - after all, as the other posts said, you will need him to be contributing much more than than that soon. Good luck.

[Asinine]

Get him a big mug for Christmas which says

Now offer your wife a cup of tea

And leave it by the kettle every night.

[Ephiny]

Maybe he just isn't as bothered about tea as you are, i.e. he's happy enough to have one if it's offered, but doesn't care about it enough to actually make it himself. I'm like that with chocolate. If DH buys some and offers me a bit, I'll usually accept, but I wouldn't have thought or bothered to have bought it myself. I hope he isn't secretly fuming with me!

We each sort out our own breakfasts as well. I'd agree with others. Either just make your own tea, or if you're finding things like that difficult at the moment, ask him to do it.

[SpoonyFuckersWife]

He bloody loves tea

[tethersjinglebellend]

I don't drink tea.