to expect a bloody answer when I ask....

[topbannana]

"What would the kids like for Christmas?"
It is for DH's DGC but all most of the present choosing, buying and wrapping is down to me. This simple annual question is normally answered with "Oh I don't know, they would be happy with anything really" (they have a large extended family and are not short of toys anyway)
What I would like to know is what they are "into" at the moment, if there is anything specific they would like or if perhaps they would like money towards a larger special present (though they are probably a little too young at the moment for this one)
As it is we have ended up with vouchers for the last few years, along with a small token gift so they have something to open from their GF.
It seems such a petty thing to get irate about, particularly as we are not being badgered for expensive gifts but it really aggravates me. We do not have loads of money and I would like to think what we spend goes on something meaningful and wanted, rather than being left in the back of the toy cupboard.

As a parent of small children, I would say that even "meaningful and wanted" can often end up at the back of the toy cupboard once the novelty has worn off! Do the kids like crafts and making things? Packs of coloured paper, stickers, pipe cleaners etc are the things my kids get the most fun out of. Or cinema vouchers? Then offer to take them to the cinema? Kids with too many toys already really don't need any more, so I try to ask for and buy disposable stuff! Felt tips and play doh dry up
And need replacing etc. if the kids are older, that probably prefer the vouchers anyway.

Tbh as a mother of 2 young kids I hate that question. When put on the spot I don't know.
For example ds (22 months) loves curious George but I can't just say some thing curious George as we have bought him some George stuff. So I want to have a look at what other stuff is available.

Dd wants some monster high stuff, but I know dbro got her a doll so I would need to check.

its not actually that easy to say 'xyz' at a moments notice.

I hate that question. Answer and you look grabby, don't and you look vague.

Stick with vouchers OP. Buy them and then go for lunch. Christmas shopping done.

I also hate that question. We have three really young DC and get asked this by various family members. We feel so put on the spot and really have no idea what to say. For one because we buy everything we know they would like, and because the things we like for them are all online and none of the family members (except my dad) "do" online shopping, or even computers.

Also because you don't want to say something that costs too much and then sometimes when you do mention something its 'oh we can't get that, its not enough' or whatever.. My nanna has done it best this year, she's just giving money and has told my dad to do the same. My mum insists that she has to give them presents.. The eldest is 2.9, they don't even 'get' Christmas yet. She doesn't need to get them anything, she just insists.

We'd rather just put the money into savings for a family holiday tbh. Previous years toys have often been given away or sold on anyway because they go without use..

Interesting replies. As a child I had to write a list and every family member who gave me a gift inexplicably gave me an item off of it even if it was all wrapped in the same paper and with my DM's handwriting on the tag
Money was quite tight so it was probably better than random gift buying and I just assumed thta this was how it was done now.
santa I wholeheartedly agree about saving money instead and I have an annual struggle with my DP's to who DS is the only grandchild about not buying piles of gifts, preferring them to put money into his account instead. So far they have opened their own account for him, put money in monthly and buy marginally fewer gifts :o
I will broach the subject again this weekend (we are visiting so I can tackle it personally!) and see what they come up with. I AM happy to go down the vouchers route but I suspect that that the DGC's get little choice in how they are spent I would be exactly the same mind!
I just think DH would like to buy his DGC a frivolous present, for no reason other than it is what they asked for IYSWIM.

I don't think you Abu. I ask every year, I'm not expecting a list for specific toys but a general idea. If there is a request for a particular toy I will be happy to oblige, if its in my price range., I wont feel guilty if not. I've never been asked for anything expensive! I know that we'll be asked every year by 8 different adults so I have a think before hand and come up with some ideas. If you have children there's a good chance people will ask!

I usually suggest from a couple of ranges where there's a large range of prices and it won't matter if someone else gets the same. My children have never been onto crafts but I have suggested particular lego or playmobil ranges, more Brio track, Nerf refil packs. It doesn't matter how small, it will be useful. Some of the people I ask will suggest general play dough, paints, book tokens.

If I do ask I am not expecting an answer on the spot, you may FB, email, text, call at a later date.

I start making lists of things for my 2xDDs in October. As it occurs to me that they might like something I write it down before the idea evaporates then I get the list out when asked. I keep getting amazed by the things I'd forgotten they might like, DD2 a toy dyson for example. I'd never have remembered.

I use the back of the paper to keep tabs on what other people would like.

Now I only need to get over being annoyed by people who ask me, get an idea and then go 'Oh we haven;t thought about it' when I ask in return.

I hate that question too. As a grandparent you should know what those children are in to and what their character is like so base the presents around that

I can understand your frustration but as a parent I hate being asked that question too and so do my kids.

It just makes us feel awkward so we usually blurt out "Oh anything will be much appreciated".

Totally unhelpful I know

My parents and pils would probably get something my children would like, they're both very good with toys. They will still ask! They don't know exactly what my children have and what they would like. They talk with my children but don't see them regularly play with their toys. My children often go to stay with my parents from a few days to a week, so they don't see them on a weekly basis but do know them.

My youngest is the sort to go off with a box, a few action figures, a toy car, a plastic bottle and a can of beans. An hour later and you will find him deep in a game, no one is allowed to interrupt, or join in, or discuss his game. It's all about the game, not the stuff, so he will not talk to his grandparents about lego, or Batman, or whatever. They know if they give him cool looking things he will love it but they don't have in depth knowledge of what's in our house and our storage situation ;)

My eldest was very different, he was never one to go off and play by himself. He likes talking at you and building things. The grandparents know they could buy him any sort of buiding thing and he will love it. Technical lego, or air fix would be fine. Again they still ask.