DIY

[CruCru]

My DH has an obsession with DIY. Every weekend he has a list of jobs that he does. Which in theory is great - we (DS and I) do benefit. However, for quite a few of them I don't see any difference.

My main issue is it takes HOURS. Every job takes far longer and is far messier than he thinks it will be. I also have to do all the childcare while he is up ladders drilling and it's getting me down.

The next job planned is going to be massive, with drilling through masonry. It is a two man job - I can't help because I have to look after DS - but he won't hire builders to do it.

So, AIBU to ask that he just stops doing bloody DIY for the next few weekends? We will have people staying (his family) and it's awkward when he disappears for hours.

Send him here I'm still waiting for this plumber to arrive!

He doesn't do plumbing thank god. I am really poorly and he's just disappeared downstairs again. For God's sake, just do some parenting man.

Yeah, this isn't really about the DIY you know - it's his escape route. He can dodge off to avoid the child care and to avoid too long in the company of his relatives. If I were you, I'd tell him that unless he gives it a break over the coming weekends, that you will be off out and about shopping, visiting friends etc, not entertaining his family. And leaving the kids with him.

Also, like any hobby, it should be secondary to family needs. He needs to share the childcare, and that should be higher up his list than the jobs he wants to do (escape to).

YANBU.... At the very least, you don't want your house in a mess and cluttered with ladders & rubble every single weekend. Save them up, take a week off and do the lot at once. Sounds like an avoidance tactic to me, i.e. pretending to be pottering with screwdrivers rather than actually doing a job so that no-one asks him to do anything. Just tell him to stop....

We call this work, baby avoidance work in our house. Jokingly not really. It means that if DH really has to do something, he will say, "it needs doing, I promise it's not baby avoidance work" and I will agree. Otherwise, he is too sheepish to go and do something for hours, which doesn't need to be done while I look after the crazy Tasmanian Devil baby.

YANBU. It is baby avoidance work. At the same time, wish my husband would do some DIY. He'd rather pay ridiculous amounts of money getting tradesmen in for tiny jobs, or letting me do it while I'm also looking after DD so he can sit and watch the TV.

NiniLegsInTheAir Fri 07-Dec-12 16:20:23
YANBU. It is baby avoidance work. At the same time, wish my husband would do some DIY. He'd rather pay ridiculous amounts of money getting tradesmen in for tiny jobs,

Oh but this reminds me of a Hillare Belloc poem:

Lord Finchley tried to mend the Electric Light
Himself. It struck him dead: And serve him right!
It is the business of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan.

Well, we can afford to pay workmen. DH just prefers not to.

I feel terrible now. DH got up with DS and looked after him all morning so I got a lie in (I am super ill though). He is a good husband really.