To think it is selfish to take your infectious kids to someone's house

[rubberglove]

A friend popped in a few days ago. Her kids were still obviously contagious from a sickness bug. The youngest had diarrhoea and the eldest kept complaining he felt sick. The mum admitted they had been ill.

Now my ds and I have it. We have been up all night. Dh was supposed to have xmas party today but he is taking flexi to help me. Which means he might not have flexi left to see dd nativity play.

I am furious. I accept bugs are everywhere and never completely avoidable but I think it is fucking selfish to take your kids to someone's house knowing they are contagious.

YANBU.

Make sure that you tell your friend what has happened, and the subsequent effect. Also tell her about the 48 hour rule for D&V.

I will tell her, grrr.

YANBU at all, selfish mear, I can't stand people who do this. I would have told her to go home as they are clearly not well. This happened when dd was a baby she went to a party. Host as we got there said that they had te sickness bug a few days ago. I should have left but felt rude. Lo and behold dd got the bug really badly

YANBU. I was supposed to meet a group of friends on monday , some of whom are pregnant. 2am Monday morning, I was being sick, and had a massive headache. Although I felt better when it was time to meet them, and was fairly certain it was just a migraine, I still cancelled, just in case. I wouldn't want anyone getting sick because of me, especially someone who is pregnant!

Me too Gillyweed. It shows basic compassion and empathy.

YANBU. People seem unaware of the 48 hour rule. Some people seem to think if they are sick once it was "probably nothing".

My DH has to take medication for a heart condition and caught this bug a few weeks ago. It's not funny watching someone you love bringing up the medication that keeps them alive. He's fine now, but until you are in that situation you don't realise how dangerous it can be to spread your germs.

YANBU this drives me mad!! The same woman has brought her sick and therefore not at school DS(accompanying his little sister) to the baby and toddler singing group I take my Dd's too and then the next week she brought her DD who was pale, shaking and clearly very ill...at a group full of babies, toddlers and pregnant women, not very clever!! Not very fair all round, not fair on others and not fair on her DC's, who wants to be dragged about when you're poorly? Not me!

I think it is a bit dysfunctional actually.

Yanbu. Even if I think my dcs are over something I tell the host when they were last sick and ask them if they'd prefer we gave it a miss. Seems common sense.

Yanbu, she's very selfish.

YANBU, it's unbelievably selfish. Hope you feel better soon.

Not unreasonable at all. I speak from a position of impotent rage, as this happened to DW and I last week, when a reasonably close friend of ours popped in with her two in some kind of intense and hideous rain of coughing and snot.

We have both finally shrugged off the resulting colds, but my wife is 7 months pregnant and could really have done without.

I hate when people do this. There is really no need to take sick or infectious children anywhere. If that means a younger sibling misses a class then tough. What possesses these parents that they think other parents will be happy about this?

This has happened a few times to me. Once it was a flu-like illness. The mum, who was clearly ill herself, brought over her dd. The child was whiny, feverish and pale as a ghost.

All my family got it, including myself and I was pregnant. I got such a bad cough, my pelvic floor was wrecked.

I just don't understand it. You stay in, keep warm, dose up and use as much telly as needed. I know it is tough, I get really down when we are ill. As we have a small house and it is claustrophobic. But I would feel to guilty passing it on...

too guilty rather

YANBU
Sending ropy DCs to school when everyone has the same bug already is one thing.

Spreading it to friends or family who wouldn't encounter it otherwise is selfish.

YADNBU. There's an attitude that 'it can't happen to me'.

I had a really sneezy cold last month. I felt fine in myself,just sneezing a lot. I was due to be going to a much looked forward get together with some friends. However two of them are in ongoing chemotherapy. So I stayed away.

I was amazed at the number of people who told me I was being over cautious. To me it was common sense - and my friends who were having chemo agreed.

There is chickenpox going round school at the moment, I keep seeing this little girl being taken into the playground to pick up an older sibling. I can hear his mum talking to others about him having chicken pox and the spots on his face. I don't know if all his spots are scabbed over, but I'm sure that I'd seen him there a couple of days before so I think he has probably been taken there whilst infectious. I'm hoiking up my judgy pants and praying that my preschooler doesn't get it.

If she has a contagious virus then she shouldn't be anywhere near school/friends etc. If she absolutely desperate, I would think it would be just about OK to go the supermarket to get essentials if you had no one to help.

Makes me cross too! DS came down with sickness/diarrhoea on Monday morning. I kept him out of school for the 48 hours after last incident plus a day (he was still v tired). I even kept his little sister off nursery when we were still within the 48 hours (but DS not having symptoms) just in case she had come into contact with any of the germs. Because of the high probability that I would catch it, I had to cancel my planned 5-hour trip yesterday to see my grandfather on his 90th birthday while he is in hospital dying. So I won't see him again, thanks to whoever spread the bug about in the first place.

I don't understand it - surely if everyone strictly obeyed the 48 hour rule, these bugs would be much less prevalent?

BluberryHill - but if there is no else to look after the child or pick up the sibling I'm not sure what else she could do? Would the school accept this as a reason to keep the older child off school?

My son's school says they can be back at school 24 hours after their last episode of sickness.

Baresark, I have no idea her mum is looking after her in during the day, could she ask a friend to drop off / pick up her eldest or go in a bit later so that they aren't mixing in with all the other children, babies, parents waiting in the playground. If the older child isn't infectious then they should be at school, the mother should manage it and reduce the risk to other parents and really small babies that are in the playground too. I'm worried that mine could get it because then I would have a problem with pick up / drop off (as well as managing a sick child). I just wouldn't be standing chatting to everyone at the entrance.

Zoonoose I am so sorry to hear that.

Baresark - the main point for me is that if the girl is / has been infectious and has been taken where there are lots of other children and people she is potentially infecting those children and creating problems for everyone else. I'm sure she could ask someone else to pick up / drop as she lives within 5 mins walk of the school.