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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People always seem to moan that it's hard to make friends if you move, I think the opposite is also true - it's hard to make friends if you live where you grew up

6 replies

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 07/12/2012 08:21

Reading the "some towns it's hard to make friends" thread, and it's occurred i me that I have a similar problem. Except the problem is that baby groups etc here are all people I went to school with/and their friends/family, ex partners families, people I worked with, who have all maintained their group of friends to not include me. Whether they have decided over the years they don't like me, or I don't like them, or we just have nothing in common. It's not that anyone would be nasty, but they just aren't potential "proper" friends.

Of the one very good friend I have, and the few not-so-close-but-we-talk-a-lot friends, none of them live close. The people I do still talk to from school (though I rarely see them in person) have all moved away! Work friends move to new jobs and we lose touch (especially now I'm a SAHM) I have family close by, and it is a close knit family, but my two sisters have moved away (one at uni so possibly not forever) and my dad works away so my mum visits him a lot.

My dad worked in a village in Scotland for a bit, and when visiting I took DS (DS2 wasn't born then) to the baby groups and loved it.

So, I often think that moving away and starting afresh, although obviously hard, would be much easier from a making friends perspective. The other thread makes me think AIBU, what do you think?

OP posts:
BlushingBlind · 07/12/2012 08:25

I agree. I have lived in my town my whole life and lost all my friends when I had DS.
I don't have much in common with the mums at school and they don't seem to just annoy them.
It's quite a small town and everyone knows everyone else.

drmummmsy · 07/12/2012 08:26

yep, I totally get this. I'd only love to move somewhere to start afresh where not everyone knows you, your business and your family's business

BlushingBlind · 07/12/2012 08:26

Urgh that meant to say I just seem to annoy them.
Even though my post does not make sense YANBU

drmummmsy · 07/12/2012 08:26

from Northern Ireland - the smallest place in the world!

ConfusedPixie · 07/12/2012 08:30

I mentioned dps hometown on that thread, it's also the town I went to school in. we wouldn't have friends if we lived there because we live our lives so differently to our peers, not interested in going to the pub or getting pissed every night, and that is the only thing to do there really!

Yadnbu imo. Dp moved a year ago as he got so depressed living in that area, with the same people and no opportunities, I moved as soon as I could at 18 for the same reasons!

bulletwithbutterflywings · 07/12/2012 08:34

This was true for me before I had a child and became a SAHM (I moved away from my home town for a job completely on my own), but we've moved again since then (Moved from DPs home town to the other side of London with DP and DS) and after 2 years, I've only made 2 friends, and neither of them are close friends. It's been much harder without a job as that's where I met my friends before.

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