To not want to feel like a milking machine?

[iloveholidays]

Was at PIL last Saturday, had DD3 (3 weeks) taken off me the second we walked in and only passed back for feeds. As soon as I finished feeding she was taken off me again. Hard to say no when MIL asks for a cuddle...

Back there this Sunday and not looking forward to it...

YANBU. The same happened to me but when my MIL handed my ds to me for feeds it was accompanied by 'back to the milk machine'. I said something and it caused a huge argument but she has respected boundaries (to a certain extent) since then.

I would say that they learn by the next child but this is your third so that's not going to happen.

Do they pay your other children any attention? Doesn't sound like it.

It is about taking back control but if you haven't said anything previously with your other children it might be a bit difficult now.

I completely understand how you feel. I think probably the jokey way is the way forward. And just don't let her go when she comes to get her and give her when you want to!

You know it's something that wouldn't bother me. I can get cuddles anytime I want, they can't. Just enjoy having your arms free and read the paper!

My ils are like this so I can totally understand how it feels. Also you're probably still a bit hormonal atm which won't help. Ime you need to get your dh on side, tell him you find it upsetting to constantly have the baby taken from you and get him to help with taking her back. If it gets too much take her into another room to feed and stay there for a while, I used to do this all the time! You can just say shes a bit unsettled and needs peace and quiet to latch on properly

Thanks everyone. Hopefully last weekend was just especially bad, we're going over to help put up all the decorations so might be a little different.

What I do with mine is say, to baby dd "are you going to go to cuddle grandma for a bit?" then hand her over myself. Then you can say "shall I take her now?" and have her back when you want. You are in charge. Obviously gps want to hold their gcs but you need to be comfortable with it and not feel anxious. With my first I really didn't want to let go to begin with, but now with fourth dc tbh am glad of a rest! As long as you are being friendly/respectful, if your mil gets upset it is her problem, not yours. If you don't feel like handing your baby over, don't. They have years to 'bond' it doesn't all have to be done in the early weeks.