To not want DS' father's gf to have photos of ds on her fb

[guccigirl666]

She regularly uploads pictures of ds, including as her profile picture on occasion. I am not comfortable with this, I have only met her once (they have been together for 4 years) I don't know who is on her fb so I spoke to ex asking for her to take them off. He said he'd talk with her, but she didn't take them down.

After more discussion with ex the profile picture got changed (to her doing to Vs at camera, I guess aimed at me, charming) but other photos stayed up. I began to get angry that I had requested them taken down and whether she agreed or not she should have just bloody taken them down. So after huge effort I found how to report them to facebook and they removed them. However now she has blocked me so I have no idea if she is still uploading photos of ds (he is 4).

AIBU to not want her uploading photos of my ds? I am happy she loves ds and appreciate the effort she puts in with him but putting it into perspective, she see's him for 2 days a month and should surely respect my request for the removal of the photos?

"It's pretty standard facebook etiquette to not post photos of someone else's child without their permission."

The problem is she has permission from a parent of the child. Should noone be allowed to post photos on their own social networking sites without express permission from both parents? This means a separated father being able to make a mother remove all of her photos of her child because he wants her to.

Ex doesn't use facebook, he has a profile but it's inactive, no photos, nothing.

He spoke to her about your concerns but do you know for certain he asked her to remove the photos? He may have just said Gucci has seen your photos and complained, so they decided the easiest way to avoid it was to not allow you to view her FB anymore.

ChocoHobNob if it were my ex with the pictures I wouldn't ask him to remove them, he has parental responsibility. So in your example this could mean a separated father asking for the mother's partner to remove photos, not the mother. My dp doesn't upload photos of ds as he feels it's not his place - we have been together 3 years, and he see's my ds every day.

He said he has spoken with her but can do no more as she is her own person.

No I was saying, to enforce this everyone one who uploads any photos of a child would need the permission from both parents of that child which would also include parents themselves.

If your ex has said he is Ok with her putting these photos on FB them she doesn't need to remove them ... Exactly the same as if one of your friends or family members put photos on FB, your ex c

No I was saying, to enforce this everyone one who uploads any photos of a child would need the permission from both parents of that child which would also include parents themselves.

If your ex has said he is Ok with her putting these photos on FB them she doesn't need to remove them ... Exactly the same as if one of your friends or family members put photos on FB, your ex couldn't force them to remove them.

her profile picture is YOUR son? that's weird alright. But, take a deep breath and don't make a fuss. Sometimes doing nothing works out better...

Ah, the thing is I wouldn't be happy with my friends/family uploading pictures of ds (and they don't). I am quite a private person and do not want anyone apart from myself and his father uploading any pictures of ds. I know my account settings are as private as you can get and never have my profile picture as ds.

Ha, yes i admit when I saw the profile picture I did go ever so slightly mental.

It is completely understandable for you to feel murderous at seeing the woman who was involved in your relationship breakup with your child ... but it isn't the end of the world there being a photo of your child on a website which if his father cared that much, he could most certainly have it removed somehow. You have to pick your battles and this seems a minor one as it will not harm your son in anyway.

Thank you ChocHob, you are right about choosing my battles and I will just have to let this one go. Grrr! Oh well 'tis the season to be jolly and all that!

Another one agreeing with you that it's weird, people who like to put pictures of kids as profile ones usually tend to use there own children.

And I would be narky at the "my boys" status. I love my stepchildren dearly but I would never ever refer to them as my boys because they arnt.

But then I'm a bad tempered cow

Yanbu

I've uploaded a couple of photos here and there of my partner's daughter, but motto to try and prove a point or to try and "play mummy". The photos I have uploaded are mostly with her brother (mine and OH's son) and they are close siblings. We see dsd 3/4 times a week and have heaps of family photos that aren't on fb. Yes there are a couple of photos
of her on her own but in all honesty her mum isn't bothered and her partner uploads photos of her daughter because they are a family unit as well.

But honestly it's personal choice and all circumstances are different. We see DSD far more than they see your dd so I guess that makes a huge lot of difference. However, if her mum was uncomfortable with me having photos of her daughter on fb, I would respect her wishes and take them off. It wouldn't stop me taking family photos though to keep in photo albums, put on the wall etc...

Profile pictures of step children though.... That's weird.

Yeah, weird. It would be much more normal to ONLY have photos of your own biological kids, ever...that should help the DSC's feel wanted and loved.

Balia obviously that comment doesn't apply to me :)

Yanbu,