to think plans shouldnt be cancelled if a friend pops round?

[familyfun]

Twice lately i have made plans for people to come and visit and then they have text/phoned at the arranged time to say sorry they wont be coming as someone has popped round unannounced and they couldnt just turn them away.
aibu to think it is ruder to cancel on me than to cancel these people who have turned up?

YADNBU. If someone popped round to mine unannounced and I already had plans, I would just politely tell them that. The only reason I would possibly cancel my plans would be if the person who popped round unannounced was a long lost relative who had I not seen in years and would only be in my town on that very day etc. So, I would only cancel existing plans in very extreme circumstances.

YANBU.

well in one case it was an older relative who lives 20 miles away and only visits once a year but i still think she should have phoned. the other case it was a local friend, but as she had already turned up they couldnt turn her away. aaagh!
im always being let down and its getting to me

YANBU, I'd be pissed off.

Very rude! This hasn't happened to me but I woud be annoyed. Did they say " so you can come round here then" or could you have said " that's ok, bring x with you"

I would stop making plans with people like that. Or invite someone else as well as then so my morning/ afternoon wasn't spoilt.

no they didnt invite me over and i didnt suggest bringing them as i dont know them at all.
these are people i see regularly, wheras the turn up people are occasional visitors so clearly they get preference

I don't think yabu to be annoyed that uve been let down at the last moment.

That said its very difficult sometimes to turn someone away. Ii know as an aunt surprised me the other day when I was in the middle of something but I just didn't feel able to turn her away on the doorstep after thanking her for the Xmas pressies for dd.....

I have another friend who I know will always let me down. I take bets on it now with dh as to what the reason will be next time. It's always a family reason, this last a death (bit of a ratchet up so assuming this one actual truth!) so I always plan a to see her and plan b my day. I've given up caring as she thinks its fine. I just don't arrange often. But we do enjoy the time when we see each other so don't bother to drop her completely.