To think that this is actually quite dishonest?

[woopdiedoo]

My friend's baby has a medical condition for which treatment will not be provided by the nhs.

They have been fundraising to raise the money needed to treat the condition through various means and events. I have been helping and have been amazed by the generosity of people. They managed to reach their target quite quickly with a large donation by one individual.

Despite being totally skint, I also made some donations/sponsored their events. However, despite already reaching the target they are still find raising. I don't know what they plan to do with the excess money but I rather feel like they are milking the situation now. There is also a charity who provides a set amount for this specific condition although I do not know if they will be accepting this fund also. They have thanked people and announced the amount they have made but omitted to include the large donation and also the charity amount so it still appears that they are short of their target.

AIBU to feel that this is unfair on the very generous people who wanted to help and suggest that they donate excess funds to said charity or should I mind my own business and let them do what they wish with the excess funds?

We are currently fundraising for some surgery for our dd. It is something that our local hospital will not pay for, but other hospitals do, so it's all very frustrating. Whilst we're fundraising (and we're still miles off our target) we are still doing our best to get the pct to pay. If this does happen - because there may have been some legal channels the pct didn't go down correctly, we will contact all the people who have donated and ask if they want the money back, or if they would be happy to have it donated to a charity connected with her condition. We only want the exact sum for the procedure and anything over, again would go to charities (if we ever get it :( ) As soon as you said 'cosmetic', I'm afaid I got a bit grrrr, as the cosmetic surgery my daughter could have if she so wanted is available on the nhs but what we know she needs, which is medical, isn't. Probably outing myself here, but I think you need to ask what the excess is goin to! I would be mortified if people thought we were getting money which isn't exactly what we have said it is for.

Butisthismyname - I'm really sorry to hear about your DD. it seems very unfair that the pct will not cover this treatment. Stories like your really put what my friend is doing into perspective. I wish you the very best in raising the money you need. It sounds like you are being very honest with people.

Thank you! it's not 'life threatening' but it is making her life a little more difficult :( Hopefully we'll get there in the end! We need £7,000 and have around £800 so far. What would be fantastic is if the pct overturn their decsion then we can donate it to a charity that will raise awareness or something.

Maybe the large donation came with strings you don't k ow about - maybe the person donating specifically said they wanted it used for "extras" if they has enough money you don't really know

I assume it is a helmet for plagiocephaly?

Why would the NHS NOT pay for something if it IS needed? I don't understand.

Cuts. Basically. As I say it's not life threatening, but her life would be a lot easier if she could have this simple procedure done - as a lot of children we know, in other parts of the country have done! It's a long story, and I don;t want to out myself entirely, but our hospital is one of the finest in the country with the capability, the staff and the resources to do this but they have made cuts in the department. I'm happy for people to pm me if you want to know more! It probably sounds ridiculous trying to explain it here! And I have completely hi jacked the thread! sorry

Butisthismyname - don't worry about hijacking this post! If you can raise awareness for your Dd's condition then all the better.

I had no issues at all with my friends doing this, I was just becoming concerned that they were getting a little carried away since people have been fantastically generous.

I am skittle concerned about outing myself so I will drop it now. I just wanted to see if I was being unfair by being dubious about their tactics. But as has been rightly pointed out, I probably don't know enough to make a judgment about what the money will be used for. I will make a suggestion that excess funds are donated to the charity and leave them to do the right thing. Just felt a bit bad as I have been involved in helping them.

All sounds very dishonest if you ask me. If more costs etc had surfaced then surely they would say we have raised X amount and need XX amount, but actually things have changed and we now need XXX amount, but that isn't what they're doing. They're lying about how much they've raised, don't know how they can justify that.

If it IS for a helmet, then you are right to be concerned they have not revealed the large donation. This is a fixed price treatment which does not cost more than the stated price, and that is that. Any continuing to raise money is dishonest because there won't be any further costs, and anyway, they should state what the costs are before continuing to raise money.

I can't believe people are saying what a bad friend you are for raising this, when you donate money for a target, you expect people to stop when the target is reached!

i think they are being blatantly dishonest in not revealing the total cost of of what they have raised so far. WHY havent they included the large sum? Bet the dontation giver isn't impressed.

Can't believe the nasty comments about "wow nice friend" etc.

IMO OP you are def NBU to have uneasy feelings about this, from what you have told us it does smack of potential dishonesty, defrauding people who are giving for what they believe to be surgery and may in fact be used elsewhere.

Very difficult situation to tackle tho, without seeming like accusing them. I would have to step back if initial enquiries don't get a satisfactory answer.

Just btw, does anyone know if there is any form of regulation for these type of appeals or are they all just done on trust?

I don't understand why OP has had a hard time on here

Her friends knew the amount they were seeking to raise, got it, kept quiet about it and carried on asking for money

That's fraud. Why are people criticising OP for being concerned that other people are still being encouraged to donate?

Can't you just ask them? You seem to be heavily involved in helping them, and thus I would take it a close friend. Just ask as they've reached their goal, what they intend to do with the rest? If they look at you, stop fundraising for them.