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AIBU?

to have absolutely no idea what this man's problem is.

115 replies

TandB · 06/12/2012 09:19

I need the collective overactive imagination of Mumsnet to help me work this out!

DS1 goes to a pre-school attached to a school on a residential road. All the houses have large driveways so none of the residents park on the road. If there is an event on at the school or if you are trying to drop off around school drop-off time, you tend to have to park a long way away, but if you do an 8am drop-off and a 6pm pick-up like I do, there is no problem.

The driveways are all two large car lengths apart, so as long as everyone parks normally, you can fit several cars very close to the gate. You then have to walk through the school grounds so it doesn't make much difference whether you are the first car or the sixth car in line - it adds about 10 seconds onto a two or three minute walk.

There are some pre-school parents who always park right in the middle of the two spaces so that everyone else gets pushed further and further back down the road, but it still isn't a problem at that time of the morning. I am generally one of the first people there so I am usually the closest to the gate anyway.

Yesterday morning I dropped DS1 off and went back to the car. As I got in, a man pulled into the space behind me and sat there with the engine running. I didn't particularly register what he was doing as some of the older children for the breakfast club just get dropped at the gate so their parents don't get out of the car. I turned the engine on and then suddenly realised I had left my bag in the boot with my bottle of water, so I got out and walked round to the boot. The dad and the two children were still sitting in the car. At this point I did notice him as he was stopped so close to me that I couldn't actually get between him and my car and had to lean over to open the boot. He was staring at me and tapping his fingers on the wheel. I thought his kids might have been faffing around and he was in a hurry to get going. I got back in the car and pulled forward to turn round.

At this point he drove forwards about 4 feet so that he was half in my space and half in his and parked. I turned round and found I couldn't get past because he had opened his driver door fully and left it open - it is a narrow road. I waited, expecting him to close it, whereupon he looked at me, smirked and gave me a sort of "ha!" nod, and made no attempt to close the door. He eventually did close it and I drove off with him glaring and shaking his head at me.

I was bemused but put it down to him having a bad morning and focussing on some complete non-event - although I still couldn't work out why he was so desperate to park 4 feet further forward.

I passed him in the school grounds at pick up time and got another glare and a head-shake which was a bit bizarre, but no further parking shenanigans as he had managed to secure the front parking space this time.

Anyway, this morning I was again the first one there and when I came back to the car, the same man was already sitting in the space behind me, engine running, kids in the car. I did a bit of a double-take, because it looked suspiciously as though he was actually waiting for me to come back and move the car. Sure enough, I got in and drove out, at which point he once again moved forward so that he was right in the middle of the two spaces. And again, there was glaring and head-shaking as I drove back past him, although no silly buggers with the door.

I have wracked my brains about what the parking issue could be, that is so major that he has to actually wait for me to come out so that he can move into the space. The distance involved is so negligible that it can't possibly be a mobility issue - he and his children appear to have no difficulties in walking up to the pre-school, and even if there were issues in that respect, a distance of 4 feet is going to make no difference whatsoever. The only thing I can possibly think of is that he is precious about his car (a jag) and wants to park in the middle of the spaces so no-one can park too close and bump the car, but is too lazy to park in the next pair of spaces. Or has he always parked there before and now thinks of it as HIS space?

Am I uneasonable to continue to park in this space? And can anyone think of any explanation at all?! And why do I attract the driving/reversing/parking lunatics?

OP posts:
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ImperialSantaKnickers · 06/12/2012 14:53

Agree WankbadgersBauble, a splendid word, almost as magnificent as your nn Xmas Grin - but what does it mean??? Is it very rude or can I use it in front of dds?

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WankbadgersBauble · 06/12/2012 14:57

Hmm. Well, down here we use "douche" or "douchebag" a lot, to describe thoughtless wankers, morons and other wastes of space. A douchecanoe is just a canoe-sized douchebag/thoughtless wanker.

So, y'know, you wouldn't use it in front on the minister, but nobody would give you judgy looks, either.

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ImperialSantaKnickers · 06/12/2012 15:04

Aha - I've heard 'douchebag' for a useless person before!

Will add it to my collection of things to mutter at other drivers when ferrying dds around - thanks very much Xmas Wink

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cumfy · 06/12/2012 15:10

Sounds like Duel.

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MaryThornbar · 06/12/2012 15:46

It sounds as though he thinks his car is too big to park behind you without encroaching on the entrance to someone's driveway, and probably thought you took too long to pull away from your spot.

No excuse for general twattish behaviour though!!

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TandB · 06/12/2012 18:29

So many ideas, so little time in the mornings to implement them.

There were quite a few cars this evening - the traffic was bad so lots of people must have been running late.

Guess which car was parked on the zigzag lines outside the school, rather than all of 100 yards down the road?

I didn't see him though - I think he must have been in the other room when I came in. Or maybe he was in the office, asking them to have a word with the unreasonable cowbag who keeps parking in his space.

I have continued to give this some thought today, and the only thing I can come up with is that the space in question is actually outside his house, but that he loves his shiny car so much that he loads the kids in the car and drives round the block every morning just to enjoy the feel of cool leather seats on his pinstripe-clad bottom. So when he gets back, I am parked outside his house and he has to wait for me to move, otherwise his neighbours will come on MN and start a thread entitled "AIBU to think that twat-dad next door should park outside his own house?"

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GoldPlatedNineDoors · 06/12/2012 18:34

Urgh, just be grateful you aren't his wife. He sounds like a right tool.

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hackmum · 06/12/2012 18:35

Well, now you can get your revenge at any rate by reporting him to the school for parking on the zig-zag lines. Hopefully they will put his number plate in the school newsletter for maximum public humiliation.

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TandB · 06/12/2012 18:41

hackmum - unfortunately I can't. There are a few parents who consistently park on the lines (among other things) and the school is getting the right arse with the pre-school about it - the pre-school is privately run, although it has close associations with the school and provides its afterschool care etc.

The school keep threatening to lock the main gate so that the pre-school parents have to come in a side entrance which is bloody miles round with nowhere to park near it. If they do that I will have a complete nightmare doing pick-up as DS2 is at the nursery in the next road and I already cut it pretty fine - the extra ten minutes or so will make me permanently late.

So unfortunately, reporting twat-dad might well be a massive own goal!

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kerala · 06/12/2012 18:49

Shake your head back at him? HATE head shakers. I got beeped and humphed for stopping to allow a pedestrian to cross a zebra crossing. What did he want me to do mow him down Confused Confused

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TeamBacon · 06/12/2012 19:00

I think you should call him on it. Really quizzical expression, and a 'what is it that youre doing?' and stare at him looking confused.

Or just park your car, wait for him to start being a twat, and wander off.

Or take a picture of his number plate and grin at him.

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AngelOne · 06/12/2012 19:07

I would park in the middle of the parking space next time, so he can't wait in the space behind you.

And then give him the Vs if he shakes his head at you again.

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MoreBeta · 06/12/2012 19:10

I have no idea what is wrong with him.

You definitley need to ask him and report back here tomorrow.

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Xales · 06/12/2012 19:23

haha wewereherefirst that website is great.

It reminds me (I am not sure I should admit this)

I am a biker. Went to park one day and there was a car parked in the motorcycle bay.

So I parked my bike so that when it tipped on it's side stand the handle bars stopped about an inch from the driver door window. There was no way they would have got in there.

Thinking back it was a stupid thing to do as the drive could have just shoved my bike over. However it was very satisfying to go off and leave my bike there at the time Grin

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JamieandtheMagiTorch · 06/12/2012 19:25

Maybe write "pillock" in cream on his windscreen?

< mixes up parking threads>

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SauvignonBlanche · 06/12/2012 19:33

Poor you, you do seem to attract crazy drivers!

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drjohnsonscat · 06/12/2012 19:35

I get a lot of head shaking and headlight flashing when I stop to let pedestrians cross the road too. Typically from black cab drivers these days, gawd love em. Because really and truly only they know how to drive.

I think your guy might feature in this book: www.amazon.co.uk/Assholes-A-Theory-Aaron-James/dp/1857885937/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354822366&sr=8-1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

It's actually mainly about why you shouldn't let them bother you - that's my main problem and I urgently need to read this book. I just can't bear the fact that there are such morons in the world and make it my mission to explain to them why their attitudes are antisocial and crass. Of course the various assholes I have come across lately all love this and thank me profusely for showing them how to be better citizens. Hmm

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IneedAsockamnesty · 06/12/2012 19:42

Is the bit behind where you park a dropped curb?

Long shot I know seen as he's a zigzag parking wanker as well but thought I would ask.

I would be inclined to yell " what the actual fuck is your fucking problem fuck face parking wanker" and then when he left his door open I would drive into it.

But really I wouldn't I would just think about doing it.

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KittyFane1 · 06/12/2012 19:46

So many brilliant posts!
I like the cheery 'Hiya, lovely morning isn't it?' suggestion but I would not engage at all.
Look through him, get in car and write shopping list, text, faff about, paint nails. If he beeps his horn ignore and don't look. If he gets out of car and comes to window, wind it down and politely say 'Oh sorry, I'm not ready to go yet' and wind it up again.
It's time for passive aggression!! He's a twat.

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TalkativeJim · 06/12/2012 19:58

I would walk straight past my car next time, giving him a cheery wave, and go on an hour-long walk.

Or, go tap on the window and say to him, 'you know it's fine to stay where you are already parked. It's quite safe, there's a lot of space behind you. I know not everyone is great at parking, but there's no need to be so nervous.'

He would HATE that :)

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JamieandtheMagiTorch · 06/12/2012 19:59

Hahahahaha

I like that TalkativeJim

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LunaticFringe · 06/12/2012 20:01

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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mrscrimbobash · 06/12/2012 20:16

Shit on his windscreen.

Wait till the kids are out obviously.

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PickledInAPearTree · 06/12/2012 20:20

Yes you have to be really happy and cheerful and give a smile perhaps say aha we meet again! Good morning! In the style of Alan partridge at him.

God knows what his problem is but it will wind him up so bad if your nice to him and there is nothing he can do.

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SugarPasteSnowflake · 06/12/2012 20:40

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