To think this has to be another example of parental lies??

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

DS is 23 mo, entering prime tantrum territory. I have had a few parents of older children tell me that their children only ever had one tantrum. The stories go that they took 'such a firm stance' that the children learnt instantly and never bothered again.
Really?!?! Really??? So, if only I was tougher all my problems would be solved?? because I obviously pander to DS's every whim and have brought this on myself

Definitely luck.

Ds has autism and ADHD and never had a tantrum at all till he turned six, and it was the stress of starting school that triggered it off.

Mind you, once he started life was one long tantrum till he was ten . He's fab now though .

Personality plays it's part but I think how you react does too.

My DGD has massive tantrums that make her DM shout at her.

Last week she threw herself on my floor screaming, I stepped over her and carried on with what i was doing. She marched into the kitchen hands on hips, sighed and said "you are boring, you are."

Ds is 11 and has never had a tantrum, he's so chilled it's unreal........that or he was stunned into silence by dds spectacular performances

That is total bollocks

My DS was a right tantrum king, my god, he threw some right corkers in his time. I remember once I picked him up, put him under my arm and was marching down the high street with my friend and her little boy and she was saying to me stuff like oooh I dont know how you put up with it, he needs a good slap!!

Two years later she had another baby.......he tanrtums more than my son ever did!! She is now eating her words :)

who cares if their kid had tantrums, yours does and those comments are about as far from helpful as they could be. all kids are different, plus I wouldnt believe them, think maybe they are looking back with rose tinted specs.

i say wait till their children get to 10.... 10 year old are worse than 2 year olds imo!

when the kids are older, you forget what they were like when they were little.. for example, Have you tried to pushing a 5' 10" 15 year old lad into the shower with your nose practically buried in his stinky armpit? It makes you recall with fondness his fits as a two year old when you could just pick him up and dunk him in the shower..

Pure personality and luck of the draw.

DD is 5 and only ever had a few and none for a long time.
DS is 19mo and has at least 3 times a day over such crap it makes me despair.

I have zero patience for tantrums that I've always toed the hard line and just plain ignored them to save me screaming at them but it's made zero difference to DS who thinks it's the end of the world if he isn't allowed to wear his sister's coat.

Ds1 had no tantrums, it just wasn't in his nature. That isn't to say it was all a bed of roses, he was in to everything and always getting into scrapes.

Ds2 was king of the tantrums from the age of 18 months to 2.6 he was having about 3 or 4 a day. There were many times he would be sat outside the supermarket kicking and screaming on the floor. It was very difficult but I found the best way of dealing with them was to ignore nothing else worked and it was less stressful if just one of us was screaming...

They're not helping are they...so ignore.

I had a child who went ballistic on occasion. Then a second child who just didn't.

So yes, it's theoretically possible that someone's child hasn't ever had one - but it would be a question of personality and circumstances more than the way the parents 'handled' it iyswim,

probably

I used to get parenting advice along the same lines from an ex, it was so unwelcome. 'Go nuts at them and they will never do it again'

I mean ds1 was the ballistic, nutty child from hell on occasion,
but he is now 9 and absolutely beautifully behaved. He just had some processing issues (dyslexia I think) and was insecure (my fault, partly at least) and was chaotic when he was 3 or so.

It means nothing.

My DD only had 1 tantrum, and I'm not making that up. We were in Tesco and she wanted to open a packet of biscuits and we said no. She screamed for about a minute and we totally ignored her.
At the time I must admit that I thought I was such a wonderful parent, now I know that she is just a nice laid back sort of child and still is now aged 9.

However my 19 month old has certainly brought me back down to earth, she is a very stubborn little girl with a red head's temper to match! I certainly don't feel so smug now!

Just ignore.

Parents are like this, mostly:

If their child eats well, sleeps well and nevertantrums....it is, suposedly, down to their superior parenting.

When really, they are just lucky!

Ds1 rarely had tantrums and I did take the no means no stance. Ds2 has tantrums regularly, and still at 4.5 hasn't grasped the no means no stance, bu I know one day he will . Dd is 19 months and is starting the tantrums already. No means no, hopefully she will get it quicker than ds2!

I think it totally depends on the child, it's luck! I have a friend whose son never tantrums, she is definitely smug about it and gives tips etc when we all know she's never actually dealt with a tantrum, I know this isn't her superior parenting, her son is just very laid back.

My sister definitely thought she was a superior parent, even telling my Mom what she should have done differently with us!, and now her daughter has hit 5 I think shes re-thinking this!

All this "don't give in to tantrums"... I never gave in. All three of them still tantrumed.
There's no magic key, except scaring the living Christ out of them so they're too scared to do it again, and who wants to traumatise a child like that?

I always ignored them too, unless we were in Tescos/a cafe and then they just got taken outside and left to get on with it.

Did the same with both DDs.

I was much slacker second time round, my DD1 self would have been appalled at my DD2 self, but DD2 is so much more highly strung

DS has never had a proper tantrum. A few shouts, and a few stamps, but I talk about it with him and ask him why he is frustrated, and he calms down once he has explained to me what's bothering him. Sometimes I obviously can't fix what's wrong, but him communicating what's made him angry tends to defuse things.

Ha! DD was an angel toddler, never tantrumed. I thought it was my superior parenting skills.... Then I had DS, tantrummer extraordinaire. Luck of the draw.

DS isn't too bad with tantrums, they seems to be short lived (only 20 months though so he has plenty of time to improve his technique!)

What he has started to do is whinge. Which I can't stand. Wish someone would give me superior parenting tips on how to stop that it it's tracks...