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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be disappointed with my mum again

9 replies

meddie · 04/12/2012 23:12

Its my daughters birthday. I offered to take her for something to eat as she isn't celebrating until the weekend with her friends. She chose nando's. Not my personal preference but its her birthday. So I asked her if she would like to take her nana too. She says yes, asks her nana who complains about where she has chosen and wants to go the local chinese. my daughter says don't worry you don't have to come if you wont enjoy it, I wont be offended. I just thought I would give you the option.
We arrive at nando's and the moaning starts straight away. "Oh I,m sick of chicken is that all they do". No mum you can have a steak. But no she doesn't want that. She doesn't like spicy food so in the end chooses a Caesar salad with chicken.
We sit down I order and pay and get her a drink. she can barely smile and the atmosphere is horrible. When the food arrives she is picking up handfuls of the salad and dropping them back on her plate moaning that it would have been better with some onion..... its a caesar salad ffs. then she moans about the chicken and eats hardly anything and barely says a word. I am trying to be chatty and light hearted and she can barely even respond with more than a grunt. She also makes pointed comments about what my daughter was eating and how eating that much wont do her weight any favours ( she is a little chunky).
We barely finished the meal and she is jumping up and putting her coat on.
Honestly it felt like taking a petulant teen somewhere where they didn't want to go, yet she chose to come when offered.

aaaarrrrgggghhh!!!!!!

OP posts:
fenix · 04/12/2012 23:15

Is this normal for her, or a one-off? If it's out of character, I'd see what's up and try to help. If this is how she normally is, then lesson learned unfortunately. I wouldn't be making an effort to include someone who is going to dampen the spirit of a happy day.

cbeebiesatemybrain · 04/12/2012 23:18

Yanbu, she sounds like a pita! How did your dd take it?

meddie · 04/12/2012 23:27

DD was pissed off and couldnt believe how rude she was, but tbh she does stuff like this all the time and as she is getting older it seems to be getting worse. We both love my mum, but she is getting harder and harder to be around she is so negative. I suppose a small part of me kind of hoped that as it was her granddaughters birthday she would not try and turn everything round to being all about her and what a miserable life she has (she doesnt, she has a better social life than I do)

OP posts:
fenix · 04/12/2012 23:29

If it's her normal behaviour then you can keep inviting her and call her on it when she talks crap, if you'd still like her to be there.

Selks · 04/12/2012 23:29

I think you should say something to her. She might not realise how rude she is getting.

IneedAsockamnesty · 04/12/2012 23:32

If it was my mother I wouldn't hesitate to tell her she was being rude and the world does not revolve around her especially not on other people's birthdays.

OkayHazel · 05/12/2012 01:04

I'd stop giving her the option. Rather her be a sour puss at home alone or give me an earful afterwards than ruin a special occasion.

WinklyVersusTheZombies · 05/12/2012 01:17

Everyone has been nicer about your mother than I would be.

Frankly if I had a teenage daughter and some sat there, with a face on them, then made a jibe about her weight, and ON HER BIRTHDAY, then I would wait til the next day to pay a visit and go fucking ballistic.
No way would she be asked to do anything ever again unless she fully apologised to dd about her appalling manners and hurtful remarks. Nasty cow.

Your poor daughter, and she was being so nice having grandma along.

CaliforniaSucksSnowballs · 05/12/2012 03:00

Bloody hell what a misery.
I'd do a retake for your Dd on a different night and not take Nana. Make sure to have desert the next time.
I think your Mum needs a telling off, she spoilt her grandchild's birthday dinner. I'd make sure to tell her that she did just that with her moaning and making rude comments about Dd's weight.

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