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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Re Santa?

11 replies

EllaEllaElla · 04/12/2012 18:46

I live overseas in an expat compound type thingy - most of the families are UK, US or Canadian.

We are hosting a Christmas party in a couple of weeks for all of the young kids in the community (only about 12), they range in age from 1.5 - 9 yo. The party idea came from a chat with mums, it was a group idea, and everyone is contributing snacks etc but inevitably, I will being doing the most in terms of preparation. It is being held at ours because we offered (and are happy to).

We managed to get hold of a santa costume and told people Santa would show up. One of the Dads volunteered to be Santa - all good. One of the other Mums has since come to me to ask if I could find someone else to be Santa, as she doesn't want her DD to recognise Santa (she still believes in Santa and Mum wants to keep it that way). The problem is that as we are in a compound bubble there is no one that we can ask that her DD won't recognise (it is a very small community). I said that to the Mum and she asked if we could then cancel Santa. She hasn't offered to remove her DD during the time Santa visits, but is being quite insistant that Santa shouldn't come at all.

So, (thanks for reading!) AIBU to tell her that Santa (the Dad volunteer) is coming as planned so as not to disappoint all the others, and that if she wants to take her DD out before he comes that is fine, or should I cancel Santa?!

OP posts:

LemonBreeland · 04/12/2012 18:49

No don't cancel Santa. Tell her evrryone else would be disapponted with no Santa so you will be going ahead.

Sirzy · 04/12/2012 18:49

Keep Santa.

If the child recognises him then all mum needs to say is Santa was very busy today getting toys ready so he phoned x to help him, he is going to talk to Santa later and make sure he knows what you all want and that you have been a good girl.

Jins · 04/12/2012 18:50

DS1 failed to recognise DH twice when he was Santa. Don't cancel Santa, why should the others miss out?

babybythesea · 04/12/2012 18:51

I'd say that Santa is still coming but if she wants to take her dd out for a few minutes then you can let her know quietly (because her dd will clearly wonder why she's being removed if someone she believes in is coming to hand out presents!) and discuss how to let her know afterwards that the coast is clear.
I do wonder though how the dd will feel if she figures out she missed out on FC's visit - which she's bound to if the other kids say anything.
Could you have a story ready to feed the child with - like "FC is really really busy making all the presents and getting them ready to deliver so he can't come himself but he's sent someone to see you all" or would that make it worse?

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 04/12/2012 18:52

she is BU.

as a child i was cared for by my mum's friend who was also a parent of my school friend. we spent alot of time in their house and saw their dad alot. one year a huge big santa came to our house and asked us what we wanted from him, he then asked us who all our friends were at school, i managed to rhyme off every child i could think of, except his DDs! my mum was saying, "anyone else? i think you are forgetting someone. think again" she told me years later that it was my friend's dad and how embarrassed she was that he had done this for us and i couldn't even remember his dd as a friend! in my defence i was just so excited to see santa. i doubt your friend's dd will recognise him if he has a good beard and hat and disguises his voice.

Bluestocking · 04/12/2012 18:56

How ridiculous. Sirzy's idea is the standard one - it's like taking kids who believe in FC to Santa's Grotto at the local departments store, whereupon they promptly see another FC with a charity collection bucket elsewhere in the shopping mall - you just say "of course none of these are the real FC, darling, the real FC is far too busy at this time of year, but he has lots of friends who help him out".

freddiefrog · 04/12/2012 18:57

No, don't cancel Santa!

My DH was Santa at the school fete last year, even DD didn't recognise him. My friend's DH has done it in previous years and her kids didn't recognise him

Even if she does, can't she just say that he's one of Santa's helpers? We always told our DDs that the ones we went to see were his helpers, the real one was far too busy to show up so close to Christmas.

Original poster

EllaEllaElla · 04/12/2012 18:58

Yes, I will suggest that. She is just a little ...precious about it all.

OP posts:

Purple2012 · 04/12/2012 19:01

My Dad was Santa once, I knew it was him and my Mum told me that Santa was busy or ill or something so my Dad had to step in to help out. It didn't stop me believing.

MsPickle · 04/12/2012 19:04

My Dad was Santa most of the way through primary school. We didn't recognise him when we were very small. Then later we had to be elves helping I give out presents. His real beard has now gone white so occasionally small children think he's still Santa, especially as his stock opener is "what's your name then?"

MrsHoarder · 04/12/2012 19:04

Looking at the photos of me at the school Christmas fair as a child, it is clear to me that "santa" was the headteacher who I haven't seen for 16 years. At the time I didn't have a clue, despite seeing him in the playground every day.

I agree with the rest, as long as you get a decent costume she won't notice.

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