or am i being selfish?

[xmascow]

name change as i think i will get flamed.

anyway.....

this will be the first xmas with DP, i live alone with DS and he lives with his parents we are both in our early 20s

we agreed we would have a budget of £100 to spend on each other for presents. I have already done all mine and stuck to the budget. DP has now told me he wont be able to spend that much it will be closer to half of it.

He says he has to help his parents out with money as his dad is self employed and hasnt had much work.

I know xmas should be about giving but AIBU to be a little bit upset about this since i was looking forward to been a little bit spoiled at xmas?

YABU but you know that!

I think you know YABU. could you really accept an expensive present from DP, knowing that his family was struggling? Also, it's perfectly possible for DP to spoil you without spending a fortune :)

I think its fine to be secretly upset, if you have already spent your budget & all of a sudden he is spending 50% less than you, its easy to think that you aren't important to him & be disappointed.

However your dp is in a horrible position, perhaps he has done his best & tried to keep everyone happy. Keep in mind that Christmas is only one day & think back to his behaviour over the past months that demonstrates how much he cares. A present is not as important as being a good partner.

YANBU to be upset, YABU if you start making a fuss about it

You should be proud of him for helping support his family! Honestly, if he does that it's telling you more about his character than all the expensive gifts in the world.

The only caveat to this is, as long as he (at least sometimes) makes you feel important/special in his life in other ways.

So you are annoyed that he is putting helping his parents out, before buying presents for you?
Yabu.

Yabu. Would you want to be with someone that thinks buying his gf presents is more important than helping out desperate family?

although I do think it would be different if you had been together a long time, lived together and shared finances and his parents always needed helping out.

If its occasionally, then yabu.

50 pounds is loads of money to spend on an adult's Christmas present.

Could you take some of the things you have bought for him back to the shop and maybe spend the money you get back on a meal out for both of you?

Reduce your budget for gift, for him to 50 and spend the other 50 spoiling yourself.

Return item, if need be.

£100 on an adults Christmas present?

Yabu.

Per Chance.... Did you suggest this budget because you wanted to "be spoilt"?

Your name totally suits you.

YABVU you begrudge him helping his parents out with money for food shopping or a bill because you want to be spoilt?

What would you have rather he'd done?
Surely its the thought that counts - if he's chosen you a well thought out gift that you'll love then that should be enough.
I've he's bought you 50 quid worth of bbq brickets from the garage on Christmas Eve or a voucher for Tesco to get yourself 'something you like' (for instance) then maybe he's not such a catch.

yabu.

return half of the presents you bought him, or ebay them (before xmas!)

Oh dear.

OP, my DH and I are in our late 30s (irrelevant I know), have no children, and only spend about £40 on each other. It's really, really not about the money. It's about how you spend time together during the rest of the year.

It's difficult nowadays what with advertising telling us how much we should be spending, but people really need to learn not to be so materialistic. It is not the route to a loving relationship.

Your DP sounds quite sweet, if you ask me.