Large families

[GreeenFingers]

I recently met a lady who has a 27 year old daughter with 9 children! I understand she started her family in her early teens.
How on earth does anyone manage with so many kids I wonder?
I know that a few generations back this was the norm, but then people lived as extended families and were on hand to give support.
I wonder why someone would want so many children?

My gran had 9 (all by c-section!!) but I suspect it wasn't by choice. She had no family whatsoever nearby and her husband was useless fuckwit yet if you ask her now how she coped (she's 85) she just just shrugs and smiles - my mother says she just got on with it. No washing machine, no online shopping, very little money and no support. Makes me feel like a total ninny in comparison (not deliberately!) She now has 36 direct descendants, most of whom live very close to her, and has a fantastic life - I'm so pleased she got to be looked after eventually.

Your gran sounds amazing.

what would you like to know if you ABU about?

cailin my gran (84) also had 9, a useless (abusive) husband and just got on with it. makes me realise how lucky i am and how easy by comparison i have it.

Some people like having large families, each to their own. Who are we to question why?

Maybe she's bored / likes shagging / is a devout Catholic / has a couple of children with each of several partners?

It's less common now with more women working and available birth control, but fair play to her - I can guarantee that we both get more sleep at night than she does.

I suppose, what I'm saying is that is must be incredibly hard to look after such a large brood.Especially if you are a single parent as is the case. Can pregnancy be addictive I wonder? In days gone by, amy woman would be pregnant most of thier fertile lives.

from the other side they would probably look at us and think us a bit pathetic for moaning about our lives with smaller families/washing machines/ready made food etc!

My nan was one of 13 children, 10 of whom survived to adulthood. Every time I struggled in my 4th pregnancy, I gave myself a mental kick & told myself that if my great grandmother survived this 13 times, I could cope with 4!

I have no idea how she managed. I think my great-grandfather was pretty supportive but due to a factory accident, he only had one hand so will probably have struggled with some stuff.

I would LOVE to go back in time & spend a day in their house to see how they managed.

again, what would you like to know if you ABU about?

It was normal until not so long ago. Contraception simply didn't exist, and often the families felt they had a religious obligation to have a large family anyway because the babies were gifts from God and he wanted them to happen.

My great nan had nine, all natural deliveries in the front room. She described having a baby as like 'going for a good shit' As with all the babies in my family they all weighed 8 lbs+ aswell. She just got on with it, you just did. Nobody complained, that was just life. They were a Catholic family so even had contraception existed they wouldn't have used it. They lived in a 2 bed terrace as well. Four boys in bottom bunkbed, five girls in top bunk and when they were babies they slept in the sock drawer!

It was just a fact of life then. Now its a choice. It is made a bit easier now with things like online shopping, washing machines, disposable products, fridge/freezers so you can actually store food and don't have to go out to the shop every day! Ovens, kettles, toasters.. the list could go on. I imagine in other ways it is still very much as tough. I know I couldn't do it, three is hard enough!

santa - theres not actual question lets face it.
We have already had the pregnancy addiction line and the young mother of a large family. Next it will be the living on benefits and 4 different fathers.

As long as she is doing her best then its not up to us to pass comment. I presume she feeds,clothes and loves her children the same if she had one or two.

My own grandad was one of 13 surviving children. They were incredibly poor, half starved and seldom had shoes. I'm sure his parents would have prefered to have a smaller family, but contraception wasn't readily available and I suppose they took it in their stride.
Sorry Santa, I don't understand the question.What is ABU?

Santa, stop being such a prick. So the the OP didn't post a specific AIBU question, and probably posted in the wrong section. So friggin what?

How many times are you oing to repeat your stupid question that just makes you look like an arrogant tit?

I don't think I'm judging by passing comment. Her family dote on the children. They seem very happy from what I can tell.

Personally I don't know how anyone copes with a very large family.

Perhaps they all get on better than my lot do, and argue a lot less, and no one raises their voices?

I have five living at home and am ready to shoot myself by the end of most days. The constant noise drives me crackers.

"santa - theres not actual question lets face it.
We have already had the pregnancy addiction line and the young mother of a large family. Next it will be the living on benefits and 4 different fathers."

agree.

"So the the OP didn't post a specific AIBU question, and probably posted in the wrong section. "

yeah, i'll bet that's what's happened. she meant to post in large families. i'm sure you're right.

OOPs, I see I have posted in the wrong place.
I suppose this ladies children never want for a playmate. I just don't see how she can keep up with all the washing etc.And shopping?no car ( well minibus)and the exhaustion of being pregnant all the time.

You could have two children that fight all the time and nine that play well together.

yeah right.

+I suspect it wasn't by choice+

This.

I prefer not to think about the reasons, to be honest.

Personally I think you were trying to start a negative discussion of large families. Thankfully there is no fertility police.

what durtbird said.