that this christmas budget opionion gets out of hand?

[mrsEbruce]

So its that time of year again and were all wondering what others are spending on the children

however if your in the lower end you feel the need to judge those on the higher end for spoiling there children or asking what the could possibly buy or justify the amount

on the other hand if you spend alot you cant ask how the other half manage on there smaller buget without someone saying your smug.

Why does others finances upset them?

Surely everyone does there best and asking peoples buget in the first place was mearly ment as an interest to gauge there own?

Oh jeezo - I explained why I posted that..
In hindsight maybe too much information but I was trying communicate (obviously not very well) that our spend was in keeping with what was affordable to us.

Thanks Mrs Bruce - I am normally not so ineloquent, I wish I hadn't posted now!

lovestotravel has posted a large spend and I cannot actually see anywhere in her/his words which could be construed as offensive or condescending of those on lesser incomes, seems written "as it is". However, maybe it's worth some people reading back over their posts and reading the comments whilst imagining their life as a low income parent.

Im sure you budget for your 3 children will still put the same huge smile on there faces that santas left so many goodies for them. Thankfully children dont care whats spent remember the elfs make all these lovely gifts. This is my point people feeling bad on both sides yes we have a rather big budget for our 3dds to some but i cant appologise for this!

Point taken Natation - I grew up as a child of a low income parent as did DH, my mum tried her best with the little we had whereas DH's mum did nothing. Christmas was pretty bleak in both households. We are both very thankful for what we have now and what we can give our DD. DH never had a new item of clothing until he started working and bought his own - not one item. That haunts him to this day BUT I think this thread has shown us just how out of touch we are now - we've done well, all of our friends and colleagues are in the same boat ( most of our friends have been made during our working careers as we both moved away from our home towns) I don't think we really stopped to think that what we have is not the norm because it is in our life.

Because it's rude to ask or tell anyone anything about money. It just is.

I get drawn into these threads and admit I probably do judge because there are so many other threads on Mumsnet about hard up people are, how to make a chicken last three meals, where to do the cheapest shop, how difficult life will be without child benefit, how schools expect too much 'voluntary donations' etc etc etc and yet people seem happy to spend hundreds of pounds on Christmas presents.

I know that these probably aren't the same people posting but all these subjects do get discussed endlessly .

Rwep it wasnt my question was merly commenting about another thread i was on reading as its a question i have often wondered myself but never asked was curious to see what the " norm " was

I find these threads interesting because the minutae of other people's lives just are interesting.

But the appropriate response, as so often on these threads, is "How much? Gosh! Well, wouldn't life be dull if we were all the same?" If your reaction to the more unusual choices goes beyond that then you need to step away from the thread.

Well said its went mad

If you don't like these threads. Why did you start this one?

Oh well zukiecat at that age my 3 will be on smaller peresents aswell there all still quite young and already the older 2 have decided theres no santa this year so im enjoying the wee one while it lasts as childhoods over in the blink of an eye

Brandyismyfavouritewiseman because i felt the other was out of hand and anything i tried to say was misconstrued as smug or patronising, maybe i need to word things better, maybe people read it the way they wanted to. I was simply curious as to whats "norm" big or small makes no difference to me i havent judged anyone on it. I made a probibly silly in hinesight comment that i couldnt do it on less believe me if i could manage to like the some of the lovely netmums i would maybe next year i will make it my personel challenge

netmums?????????

Oooop im sure you knew what i ment lol

Step away from the thread catgirl. That's it. Nice and slow. ;)

see lovestotravel i dont like the implication much, that a cheap Xmas is 'bleak'. Im not really offended, because i know our xmases are far from 'bleak', but I can definitely see how that would get some peoples backs up

Christmas was pretty bleak takataka because for DH there were no presents EVER, no special Christmas meal just him looking after his alcoholic mother until he started working at 15 and moved out. For me it was bleak because my mum would be working and us kids would be on our own, I was the oldest so had the job of keeping the young ones in check - we did have some small presents which we appreciated very much but my mum being at home would have meant much more but we knew she had to work and the money she got from working Christmas day (double time) was much needed. I could go on and on about how crap our childhoods were - but that would just be depressing. We've moved on and it's made us stronger and very appreciative of each other and given us one hell of a drive to ensure we never end up back 'there'.

apologies lovestotravel ... i thought you were implying that xmas is bleak with no money. yes of course, absent parents and alcoholic parents are very bleak