To tell my friend she has a 'tache...

[PrettyFlyForAWifi]

Ex colleague but good pal. Not many secrets between us. But noticed her incipient tache last week...what do I do? Assume she has it in hand and it was a minor grooming fail? Give her jolene as a hilarious Xmas gift? Ive no idea how to broach the subject - heeeeeeellllp!

[giveitago]

Yup - if she's a close friend of yours she might be happy to know.

I have one. It doesn't bother me that much. Doesn't bother my friends. I sometimes do something about it but it's not on my high priority of things to do somehting about.

If it's about you and your friend who are very worried about it then tell her.

[GhostShip]

I'd tell her, because I'd want to be told.

[whois]

Unless you're both 14 and she's not aware of waxing etc then say nothing! A grown woman will be well aware.

[Illgetmycoat]

I always think that you should tell a friend if they have food on their face or toilet paper on their heel and I'd hope they would tell me.

However, commenting on facial hair is tipping over into pretty personal territory in line with "Your legs are hairy" and "Your arse looks huge in that dress".

I would be careful...

[quirrelquarrel]

Why would she give a shit? It's a bit of hair on her face. Does she not have a mirror? Are you doing without your mind today?
Personally whenever I see a woman with hair on her upper lip I think it looks great. I'm not trying to be original or feministy to show people up. I'm being sincere, hirsute ladies, you look fab!

[Corygal]

How is going to tell her something she already knows going to make her feel any better?

I wouldn't. But I would wax lyrical about the joy of threading - I get my tach ripped once a month, with the eyebrows. I have converted several friends thru sheer enthusiasm about how much time it saves, not because I believed my friends were really David Bellamy, so joy all round.

[independentfriend]

I have dark hair on my top lip. When I need/want to be conventionally female (professional job, meeting clients etc) I shave it. This nearly always leads to me getting a cold sore or two and to a weird horrible feeling from the stubble to the skin that's nothing like soft hair. The rest of the time I leave it as it is. I wouldn't take kindly to body policing of the sort you want to engage in. It's none of your business.

[Mollydoggerson]

I have one and I know sometimes it is visible, if anyone felt the need to tell me about it I would think they were being an awkward knob.

Do you also feel the need to remind people with big ears/noses, that they have big ears/noses.

Please get over yourself.

[Redbindy]

I hope that you are perfect in every way, else a slanging match could be in the air.

[HardHittingLeafletCampaign]

Is she a good friend? Why are you friends with her? Is she a good person, friendly, good sense of humour? Is she kind?

Does facial hair detract from the above? Is it making her uncomfortable, or you?

Don't tell her. Stop noticing. Look in her eyes instead.

[seasalt]

I wouldn't say anything.

[PrettyFlyForAWifi]

Oh do calm down, I'm not the fricking body police, I just know that she'd prefer not to sport a moustache and wondered if anyone had any good ideas of how to broach the subject. I did say 'incipient', not 'full Burt Reynolds'! Doesn't make me uncomfortable in the slightest, what an odd question! I myself sport a fetching mole/hair combo which doesn't bother me at all - but I am not she, which was the reason I was asking how to broach it to someone who does care.

Anyway, I told her and she shrieked, ran to the mirror, and we had a laugh about it. So ummm there we are.

[marchwillsoonbehere]

Well obviously you know your friend best WiFi but I am intrigued that you asked the question, got a fairly unanimous response and then did what you were always going to do anyway. And good on ya for that, but why ask???

[Kalisi]

Have I got a Ronnie Ma?

[MrsMiniversCharlady]

My MIL has a beard. I suspect our relationship has remained cordial over the past 12 years because I have never mentioned it (although the Dolly Parton CD is a particularly genius idea that I am now toying with).

[VikingLady]

I was in the position of your friend - I was saving up for electrolysis which doesn't work if you've waxed. I bleached it but you can't always see when it needs doing (depends on the light).

If you had told me I had a tache, I would have been deeply embarrassed and avoided you for some time. No-one is unaware of it!

[CuriosityCola]

pretty well done for being honest.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I would want my friend to mention it if it were me. I would be mortified.

[CocktailQueen]

I would want to know!!! But subtly.... perhaps just come straight out with it - 'oops, have just noticed ... you need to get the wax out soon.' - would she mind that??

[MardyBra]

Oops. Are you my friend?

[HardHittingLeafletCampaign]

Not sure I'm the one who needs to calm down . Who are the Fricking Body Police btw? If you can tell a friend they have an 'incipient' moustache you could probably say 'fucking' or is fricking the incipient stage of fucking?

Bet your friend is feeling fabulous today.

[PrettyFlyForAWifi]

Someone mentioned body policing upthread. The fricking was all mine. I do like it as a word.

[Glossynotflossy]

Say nothing.

I know someone who had a visible white line/patch where her tache, I assume, had been bleached.

I am sure she was aware of it too and I said nothing