to tell parents to reimburse me

[Netmumsrule]

My dd, 7, had a dance show yesterday and forgot her costume (dress). I was annoyed but as time was tight I paid £20 for a return cab to go home and get it as I did not want to let her and her dance team down.
She was wearing another costume for a dance she was doing before and when she went to change into her dress is was missing. Everyone in her class, apart from one who they thought was nervous before the dance,searched and she ended up going on stage being the only one without her costume. She cried throughout the performance but held it together as she did not want to let the others down.
When I saw her dress wasn;t on and she was crying I went to the side of the stage, asked the teacher why she wasn'r wearing it and got a reply' she lost it'.
I knew this could not have been the case and as soon as the dance ended my dd came to me-(she was also upset as she knew I made an effort to get a cab there and back when I had been ill).
I told her it wasn't her fault and then searched for it and then asked some of her classmates to check the labels. Well, the girl who did not help to find it had it on and when I asked her why she said she forgot hers and it was in her dads car boot. Her dad was watching the show so could have been found. I asked her why she took it and she didn't care and said 'it was there and I took it as mine is in the carboot.'
I told her it was a horrible thing and to return it and she took it off and didn't even apologise.
The dance teacher knows.
One parent told me, 'they are only children and I shouldn't make a big deal' but I think her behaviour is wrong.
A few other parents who heard were disgusted.
Should I tell the teacher to get the girls parents to give me my cab fare and should I ask the video of that dance is deleted as dd feels humiliated as is was crying throughout it and the only one in the whole show who was not in the correct costume? It is supposed to be going to 120 people approx.
As the dress was being looked for and dd was in tears I think it is a horrid experience for any child to have happen.
Am I over-protective?

[HildaOgden]

Oh get over yourself,seriously.

You were even pulled up over it at the time by one of the other parents who witnessed your demeanour.

The teacher is now ensuring that the parents,children and staff will not have to deal with you.Don't you see that???It's not your dd that is being excluded....it is you.

My bet is that the only discussions taken place among the parents right now are about how Witchcrafter went ballistic at one of the kids.The teacher has quite possibly spent the week assuring all the other parents that this will never happen again.

You started by being angry at your own daughter,then being angry at the 7 year old,then being angry at the teacher.If a staff member agrees,its because they 'are on the payroll'.

Seriously....you need to step back and let that red mist subside.

[BarceyDussell]

Yes, I also want to know what you apologised for.

Also, you say


WitchCrafter Fri 07-Dec-12 15:09:28

I guess I was harsh but I've had no apology for dance school not checking labels and they have not even told other girls parents.

So you were harsh. What did you do that was harsh?

And you keep saying you want the school to take action, but you acted yourself..you asked the little girl why she did what she did, you told her it was a horrible thing and you made her give back the costume.

The dance teacher probably thought that that was enough, no?

[WitchCrafter]

I suggested other girl asked to go to another venue or leave. Yes, it may be harsh but she only started recently and dd was there 1.5 yrs.

I said if I was so bad the other parent would have taken the culprit away. I would do the same if I felt someone was being unfair to a child in the same class.

I said employees would stand up for her- they are her friends as well.

Nothing has been said or done this week and teacher should be professional and even have said AT THE VERY WORST lets take a break as its the last few weeks and talk in the new year. She just had no sympathy for dd nor admitted she should have checked the labels, nor apologising to me for sayng' dd lost the dress.'

I can see various points of view here but I am now glad I've found out how unprofessional the dance school is.

[CelineMcBean]

My toddler gets angry, shouts and tantrums and then apologises. I forgive him because he is 2 years old and I'm his mum. If a grown woman behaved like that I would back away slowly and take steps to protect anyone I was respinsible for from her.

But it's ok because the op has "never been violent" and it is apparently the dance teacher's job to "calm anyone down (even me)".

Witch you sound unhinged.

[ScarletWomanoftheChristmasTree]

So, er, what was your apology for?

[amothersplaceisinthewrong]

I think Dance schools bring out the worst in people. They ake themselves far too bloody seriously.

[BlueberryHill]

Thinks, must steer DD towards kickboxing, less stressful.

[MadBanners]

Can you not see suggesting she be expelled is far too much of a punishment for what she has done. Unless I read wrong and she pulled out a weapon and made your dd strip so she could have the costume.

it was a dance, a single solitary dance, that she used a costume that was not hers for, and you are still blethering on about it a week later and wanting her banished from the class, as she has less right to be there as she has been there a shorter time. She was already reprimanded by you, which should be enough, and tbh should have been left to her parents, but that should have been the end of it, not dragging on for a week, with the expectaion of the dance teacher having to ring you midweek to check on the progress of dd. If dd was so upset and sobbed throughout her performance, do you not stop to think where this may have come from, it is all a bit making a mountain out a molehill.

[WitchCrafter]

Scarlet, I texted and said I apologise for being cross but wanted to know if other girls parents had been told (if teacher did then I would have left it but she refused to answer any questions)

[GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr]

Op, you sound unhinged.

The dance teacher was professional. She is protecting her club, her students, and the parents. The little girl had already been told off by a nasty woman and asked to strip. Dont you see this is wrong?

[ScarletWomanoftheChristmasTree]

Oh, ok, thanks for clearing that up.

How do you feel about the situation now op? The whole thing has become much bigger hasn't it, sort of snowballed...

How is your DD now?

[claudedebussy]

seems like a small thing to end such a big investment over. teacher has pretty much cut you out so don't see how anything can be done now.

best thing to do is find another similar activity.

shame.

[WitchCrafter]

The weekly class was today and dd was apprehensive and wanted to know if the other girl would be nasty to her so I texted the teacher.

[WitchCrafter]

I also said could other girl be asked to go to another venue as well- she has 5 advertised on her website.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Witchy if DD was worried, why not ask that instead of all the stuff about did the other girls know, the can fare etc

Why not "Miss X, Dd is nervous about seeing other girl tonight, can you keep an eye out?"

[gettingeasier]

FGS you are making it up as you go along

[GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr]

Seeing as you have named the club, how do you know that nobody has emailed this thread to the club?

[claudedebussy]

look - you shouldn't have asked for the other girl to be moved. yes, she shouldn't have taken the costume, but that's a total over-reaction.

so now you escalated it that far, the teacher just doesn't want the aggro. can't say i blame her despite all the rights and wrongs of parties involved.

[WitchCrafter]

Doctrine, I guess I was upset as dd was nervous today and yes did go overboard but no excuse for teacher to ignore incident.

[WitchCrafter]

Gold- I asked mumsnet to remove posts with name .

[GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr]

The teacher would not be at liberty to give you any details as to how she dealt with the incident, as it was not your child.

[WitchCrafter]

Gold, I did not ask girl to strip. They had a leotard and leggings on under a summer dress. I asked her if she could please give me dd's dress back which I needed anyway as was end of the show and was dds.

tbh teacher should never have had asked if we wanted to buy the dresses in the summer. She could keep costumes.

[natation]

As the name and location of the dance school is still mentioned in a post, it took me about 20 seconds to find the website of this dance school. I think OP you might want to ask for the whole thread to be withdrawn before you get yourself into deeper trouble.

I can understand you're upset, but for you and your daughter's sake, to avoid this getting serious, I'd just keep a dignified silence now.