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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think people see down syndrome as.................

81 replies

devilishmangerdanger · 02/12/2012 18:57

an easy disability to care for?

OP posts:
catgirl1976geesealaying · 02/12/2012 18:57

I certainly don't. I don't have any experience of it but I imagine it is incredibly difficult

pingu2209 · 02/12/2012 18:58

Do you think so? I don't think so.

piglettsmummy · 02/12/2012 18:59

YANBU, I have always assumed that it is just a mild genetic disorder with learning difficulties but have recently realised tht here are a lot more issues that come with it! I can understand why sometimes people see it that way though

ImperialSantaKnickers · 02/12/2012 18:59

I'm not sure that they do, do they? What really upsets me is that some people seem shocked that any parent could choose to have a Downs baby, as everyone seems to think it's 100% testable for and they should have had a termination. Sad

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 02/12/2012 19:02

I think some people have the romanticized idea that ALL children with Down's are loving and gentle and biddable at all times.

PTA · 02/12/2012 19:02

Why are you asking?

As a mother of a child with Down's there are some things easy and others not so, just like any other child.

Also the range of abilities in children with Down's is vast. Some children are therefore easier to care for than others.

Another point to throw into the mix is that while children may be easy to care for, as young adults and older it becomes increasingly difficult.

TrillsCarolsOutOfTune · 02/12/2012 19:03

Easy?

YABU, I don't think many people think that.

YANBU to think that most people aren't aware of the non-obvious implications (I'm certainly not very well versed on the technicalities) but I don't think anyone thinks it is easy.

slartybartfast · 02/12/2012 19:05

i have a romantic version of down syndrome children, they look so appealing and happy

slartybartfast · 02/12/2012 19:06

sorry romantic vision -

but am aware they can have heart problems and also autistic traits, same as other children,

LunaticFringe · 02/12/2012 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slartybartfast · 02/12/2012 19:07

but i think it is rather a taboo subject, not one to talk easily about, up to an individual concerned

RedHelenB · 02/12/2012 19:08

I wouldn't say easy & like any disabilities there are degrees of severity, but I must admit that there were ones I worried more about my unborn child getting.

ImperialBlether · 02/12/2012 19:09

Do you have a child with Downs Syndrome, OP?

Signet2012 · 02/12/2012 19:11

I look after several people with downs syndrome. Compared to some of the other people I look after they aren't as badly affected but are worse affected than others. Some live relatively independently others need a a lot more support and have a lot more health problems.

It's a rather generalised and romanticised view to have in my opinion.

forevergreek · 02/12/2012 19:11

No, but I have first hand experience. Many children/ adults with ds have heart/ vision/ hearing/ muscle/ behaviour as well as other problems. If you were to meet 10 people with ds they would all be different of course.

CuriosityCola · 02/12/2012 19:14

Yabu, I would never see parents of children, with disabilities, as having it easy.

Lueji · 02/12/2012 19:16

I don't think people think it's easy, or most wouldn't test for or abort the babies.

MacaroniAndWalnut · 02/12/2012 19:18

If people thought it was easy then why the tests and terminations?

DeWe · 02/12/2012 19:18

As far as I am aware a child with Downs Syndrome is just like any other child-some will be easy, some middling, some difficult. They're still their own personality, and should be recognised as a person, not just "a person with downs syndrome" or worse "a downs syndrome child".

PTA · 02/12/2012 19:22

Heart problems and autistic traits are probably the best known ones but are just the start of a very, very long list.

As a baby/toddler the developmental delay is already evident and as as they grow, the gap gets wider. DS is 6 and still in nappies. He has a very health six-years old appropraite diet, you try cleaning those poo filled nappies in a diasabled changing room that doesn't take his needs into account.

He has a language delay and I can just about hold a conversation with him, no-one else can. If he gets lost he couldn't tell anybody anything past his first name. Think on that one!

In saying all that, he is in mainstream school having done three, rather than two, years in a mainstream nursery. He is coping well but as mentioned has very poor communication skills and also very, very poor fine motor skills so he still scribbles on everything and can't colour in anything.

I could go on and on but I think you get the idea. There are many who may have it easier and certainly lots of people who have it a lot worse but easy it is not!

MrsCampbellBlack · 02/12/2012 19:24

Have you been listening to the archers?

PTA · 02/12/2012 19:28

And as for the poster who mentioned that children with Down's were easily biddable, turn that on it's head. Imagine them doing what they are told by someone who wants to abuse them or by younger children wanting a young adult with Down's to buy them alcohol.

Also my ds has a stubborn streak a mile wide. It's nothing to do with the Down's though, he gets that from me! Grin

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 02/12/2012 19:29

DS is different in every case.

I don't know anyone who thinks its would be easy. I chose not to have the blood teat to check for DS because I would have had my baby anyway.

I certainly didn't think it would be easy if the baby was a child with DS. But I still wanted him.

diddl · 02/12/2012 19:33

What a sweeping statement!

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/12/2012 19:35

YABU - I don't know anyone who thinks it would be easy. Quite the opposite actually.