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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

So angry

22 replies

forever39 · 01/12/2012 23:59

Would I be unreasonable if I told my DP to stay in a hotel tonight? Its my birthday today and my so called DP has been out boozing with his mate inbetween watching a football match sine about 11 this morning. Supposd to be home at 6.30 but instead comes in at 8 absolutely shitfaced with an equally drunk bloke who I have never met before declaring that his mate is sleeping on the sofa. He then stumbles back out the door and has now turned his phone off when I tried to ring him. Not fair on me or my kids that we have to be woken up when he decides to come home swearing and stinking the house out (he absolutely stinks of booze). I can't handle completely pissed up blokes - they scare me. Some birthday this has turned out to be.

OP posts:

RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles · 02/12/2012 00:00

Do you still have the strange bloke on the sofa?

honeytea · 02/12/2012 00:02

YANBU stupid bloody man!

Happy birthday have you got a little treat hidden away a box a christmas chocs or something, you deserve something nice.

lovebunny · 02/12/2012 00:03

hmm. pick up the children and leave. don't argue with drunken men.
then, before they're awake in the morning, leave the children somewhere safe and phone the police to help you remove the drunks. and don't have either of them back. he's not a dp, he's a danger.

Mynewmoniker · 02/12/2012 00:05

Do yourself a favour and promise yourself that if this behaviour continues you will not be taken for granted this year.

Happy birthday

BlissfullyIgnorant · 02/12/2012 00:07

If he's still there; Gently rouse (not arouse) sofa bloke and tell him his taxi has arrived. When he's outside, lock the door. Make sure nobody from outside can get back in until you decide otherwise.

Tell DP to cock off. There's no need for that behaviour.

AlienRefluxLooksLikeSnow · 02/12/2012 00:07

Yes, is the strange pissed bloke still on the sofa???

where the fuck has your P gone??

Is he usually this thoughtless, selfish and twatty?

ledkr · 02/12/2012 00:07

How selfish of him. I'd have told the other bloke that he wouldn't in fact be sleeping on my sofa. Some Blokes have a habit of pissing and puking when pissed. Text him and tell him to find another sofa along with his new friend

AlienRefluxLooksLikeSnow · 02/12/2012 00:08

Gently rouse (not arouse) sofa bloke

Original poster

forever39 · 02/12/2012 00:09

No they haven't come back yet. I will be laying here waiting for the chaos to start till the early hours no doubt. He is completely hyper when drunk to the point where I get very nervous. Thanks anyway for the happy birthday. Supposed to be going out for lunch tomorrow but he will probably spend the whole day in bed. Bastard.

OP posts:

AlienRefluxLooksLikeSnow · 02/12/2012 00:09

Seriously OP you can't go to bed with a stranger on your sofa, ffs what is your other half playing at??

AlienRefluxLooksLikeSnow · 02/12/2012 00:10

:( this is not good love, what a selfish git, how old is he??

Has he got amazing points that makeup for this twattery?

Oh yeah deadbolt the fucking door.

AlienRefluxLooksLikeSnow · 02/12/2012 00:11

Happy birthday, take the kids out on your own tomorrow, do something nice that makes you smile

StuntGirl · 02/12/2012 00:19

Given the time of night I'd lock the doors, go to bed and forget about them. I certainly wouldn't entertain the thought of a drunk stranger in my house.

honeytea · 02/12/2012 00:20

Can you lock the door so they can't get back in? Do you have family/friends close by who you could stay with?

Make sure you do something special tomorrow no matter what.

Original poster

forever39 · 02/12/2012 00:38

Thanks for responding. He doesn't get drunk very often but he is classic binge drinker - once he starts he will go for it completely. You are right about the puking and pissing - brand new living room carpet as well. I have calmed down now I've posted this. Nothing he does surprises me tbh after 16 years. I'm a true believer of the saying "don't expect too much from people and you won't be disappointed". BF forgot my birthday as well. Kids are in with me so I will firmly shut the door and make him pay for our lunch tomorrow while he sleeps it off.

OP posts:

Itsaboatjack · 02/12/2012 00:49

Well I'd be pissed off if my dh had gone out and got shit faced on my birthday instead of keeping plans with me but the rest of it seems slightly hysterical. he's not a dp, he's a danger. seems a bit over the top, he's behaving like an inconsiderate twat but he didn't suddenly turn into a violent bully.

Is the other guy a friend that you've just not met or a total random stranger? I know either way it's not on, but if he's a genuine friend I wouldn't kick him out into the street drunk in the middle of the night presumably a long way from home. Although I would definitely be having words in the morning.

Try and calm down, go to bed and deal with it the morning. After all it's pointless trying to get into any kind of discussion with a drunk person. Send him a text if you want telling him to find a hotel but if it was me I wouldn't try and kick them out once they got back, particularly if he's that drunk I'd rather he was home safe than out on the streets no matter how much of a twat he's being.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd · 02/12/2012 00:56

is the stranger still on the sofa though? How can you go to bed with him there?

Mynewmoniker · 02/12/2012 10:13

Any update? Hope you are OK OP.

Original poster

forever39 · 02/12/2012 11:46

Thanks for asking Moniker. They came back about 2 and were well behaved - went straight to bed. Managed to get to sleep in the end. DPs friend actually nice enough bloke. DP not going to be good for anything today though. Thanks again.

OP posts:

MissCellania · 02/12/2012 11:49

Why do you stay with this loser?

Original poster

forever39 · 02/12/2012 11:57

OP posts:

Mynewmoniker · 02/12/2012 12:31

Thank goodness he turned out to be a nice bloke, he could have been anybody and you and the kids were at risk.

I'm sure you think your DP loves you..and he may do...but he certainly doesn't respect you and the kids. Even if this happens once in a blue moon the day was too special to spoil so selfishly.

My best mate put up with this behaviour from her husband for years and made excuses for him all the time. She eventually told him she's had enough (long story) and is now living extreemly happily with a bloke who respects and loves her and her kids totally. She would urge you to seriously think about where you see yourself in 10 years time.

you deserve more flowers today. Take care.

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