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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect my 9 year old and 7 year old to put their own clothes away

22 replies

pingu2209 · 01/12/2012 19:54

I sort them, wash them, dry them, sort them into the 5 people in our household. I put my clothes away, my dd age 5. My ds does his own clothes, with much huffing and puffing. My 2 ds scream and have massive tantrums over putting their own clothes away, strangely the 9 year old is by far the worst.

Am I being unreasonable to expect my sons to hang their own clothes in their wardrobes and put their pants and socks and pjs in drawers?

My dh thinks I am being a hard task master - but then again he thinks I should put his away too.

I work by the way.

OP posts:

LadyMargolotta · 01/12/2012 19:55

YANBU. I expect my girls to put away their own clothes, and ds as well in a couple of years time.

charlottehere · 01/12/2012 20:02

My 11 and 8 year old DDs put their own away and have done for a few years. Even 3 year old will have a go if shes in the mood. DS doesn't as yet, but I'll let him off as he is a week old.

charlottehere · 01/12/2012 20:03

YANBU.

AMumInScotland · 01/12/2012 20:05

YANBU - by 7 a child is physically capable of putting things into a drawer or on a hanger, and should have learned that they are not passengers in e household. I'd put them in a neat stack on their bed and tell them to get on with it!

Do they scream ad tantrum a lot? They are pretty old not to have better control of themselves, and be reasonably polite to their mother.

YoHoHoAndABottleOfSherry · 01/12/2012 20:11

YANBU at all.

I am currently training my 18 month old to do hers (it involves lots and lots of trips backwards and forwards to the bedroom with her clutching one item in each hand, but she seems to enjoy doing it! I then have to go into the drawers afterwards and re-fold everything again )

FryOneFatManic · 01/12/2012 20:13

DD(12) and DS(8) put their own clothes away, and have done for some time. DH puts his own clothes away too.

I also ask the DCs to do other jobs around the house. It's good training for them.

Whoknowswhocares · 01/12/2012 20:17

1 Yanbu. They are perfectly old enough
2 wtf? Screaming tantrums? I'd be withdrawing treats for behaviour like that.......and they'd be putting their damn clothes away in addition!

NatashaBee · 01/12/2012 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CocktailQueen · 01/12/2012 20:26

Hmm, agree with the others - my 5yo and 9yo do that. I may have to ref-old some stuff after but... you're teaching them life skills - it's important! not keen on the tantrums - is this every time you ask them, or only if - say - they're tired etc when youask???? Do they tantrum at other times too?

Original poster

pingu2209 · 01/12/2012 21:10

My 7 year old ds doesn't have tantrums and he likes the way it pleases me.

My 9 year old ds has massive screaming tantrums over everything. He has a language disorder and goes to a language unit. I'm not sure whether that is why he has screaming tantrums. A lot of his tantrums are linked to tiredness because his brain is working hard all the time just to keep up with normal day to day life. This may account for the tantrums. However, it gets very tiresome.

I'm glad I'm not just me being a big bully mummy (as my 9 year old ds called me).

OP posts:

saccrofolium · 01/12/2012 21:16

YANBU. My three year old puts away his pjs in the morning and his clothes in the laundry, and helps me put away his stuff. And he's capable of epic tantrums, but as far as his gear goes, he's in a nice routine.

Itsaboatjack · 01/12/2012 21:16

My dd1 (8) puts her own clothes away and has done for a good while. Even my 2yr old puts her own pants and socks away.

mumof4sons · 01/12/2012 21:20

I have been trying for years to get my 4 DSs to put there clothes away. They are perfectly capable but at 19, 17, 15 and 12 they just can't seem to manage it. (or can't be bothered!)

But then again, I couldn't quite manage it (or be bothered) at 16/17/18 either. lol

BackforGood · 01/12/2012 21:23

The only bit where YABU is in letting the 5 yr old get away with it..... maybe help with the hanging but let them do the pants / socks / vests / PJs / anything else that doesn't need to be on a hanger ?

judefawley · 01/12/2012 21:26

Of course they should put their clothes away.

DH or I do ironing and put clothes into baskets and hangers and then the children take them up to their rooms and put them away in the right places! (this aspect has taken quite a bit of training)

MrsBovary · 01/12/2012 21:30

I put all the clothes away after ironing, even for 15 year old dd
I like the wardrobes to be very tidy, and remain so, in my (poor I realise) defence.

natation · 01/12/2012 21:32

Our 7 to 16 year olds put their own clothes away most of the time. They also help to put them out to dry then fold them before putting them away. The 14 year old is the least cooperative, as he cannot see the point of keeping anything tidy. I'd be jolly angry with them if they didn't.

PassTheMincePies · 01/12/2012 21:36

YANBU. I also have a 9 year old, and asking him to hang his clothes up on a hanger, in his wardrobe, results in a roll of eyes, a stamp of a foot and a lot of huffing and puffing and arguing and the strains of "IT'S SO UNFAIR!" a'la Kevin and Perry sketch.
Yes. It's not too much to ask you to hang your bleedin' clothes up, is it?! Never mind I've gathered them up from your pit (sorry,bedroom) and then washed them and ironed them.
Takes all of five minutes. makes mental note to take this rant to husband as he just as bad

lljkk · 03/12/2012 18:48

I guess it depends how much you want to insist on principles. With your 9yo, sounds like you aren't winning and the situation is quite stressful for you both, I'm not sure of the possible benefits. Maybe when my youngest is 7yo I will turn into a hard-ass, too. But for now I have other things to worry about.

shushpenfold · 03/12/2012 18:50

Thoroughly reasonable...I expect my 3 (12, 10 and & 7) to do this and they do eventually. I am nasty though and will put stuff in their bed if they don't put it away...shoes, bags etc!!

squeakytoy · 03/12/2012 19:16

Dunno really.. to be honest at that age I was still a child, I went to school, I came home and I played out.. my mum was a housewife, and she did the chores while everyone else was out.

I would expect teens to help out a bit, but not younger children.

takataka · 03/12/2012 19:28

I can't get my 7 year old to do it. I can get her to go to her room with the intention of doing it. Then the evil pixies take over and distract her. And the clothes mountain grows and grows until it is insurmountable; and can only be conquered by me (before it drives me doo-lally)

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