To tell Dsis (9) that if she "won't sit at a table where people are eating non free range turky" that she can eat her christmas dinner alone on the balcony.

[honeytea]

My lovely adorable and slightly precocious little sister is 9 and has been a self declared vegetarian since she was about 4.

My family are coming to stay with us for Christmas and my mum has kindly offered to cook Christmas dinner which is fab as I am due to give birth on the 8th (but feel like the baby is happy in my tummy and won't be here till much closer to Christmas.) I was talking to my mum and sister today about what I should buy for dinner, they fly to us on the 23rd and we have a christmas day celebration with my DP's family on the 24th so I need to get prepared. I went trough all the vegies and stuff for a nut roast, then I said maybe I will get a big chicken instead of a turky and my little sister said well you had better make sure it is free range as I won't sit at a table where there meat that is not free range, I said to her that is fine she can sit on the balcony and eat her dinner.

AIBU and a nasty big sister, I will look for a free range chicken but I don't often buy meat and I have no idea if you can even buy free range chickens in the country we live in.

[diddl]

Well that´s the other thing-she wants you all to eat free range, but isn´t in a position to supply it!

Well, moot point as it sounds as if you are going to be able to anyway.

I think a lot of people do try to free range for Christmas even if they can´t afford it at other times of the year.

[Punkatheart]

Gosh...what a huge difference of opinion. I disagree entirely that people should not be persuaded to behave differently...at nine (not an entitled teenager ques) it is perfectly possible to have a strong voice and believe in your convictions. There have been plenty of things wrong with the world and people have stood up for what they believe.

Whether you think the treatment of animals is important is a huge debate but actually, I believe that the way we treat other species, as well as our own, is of importance and shows what kind of society we live in. Empathy, compassion and decency are very important - they are fading fast. Human beings have a tendency to be arrogant and think that as top of the food chain, they can cause suffering so that they can have a nice meal.

This is a sensitive little girl speaking out to a collective conscience. That's what activism is all about. Yes Fluffygal may have had what seems like a crass way to try and explain it - but there have been plenty of causes where people have been told to shut up....apartheid, women's rights etc.......the people involved have not shut up, or been swayed. Not a comparision really...an observation.

I worked in auctioneering a long time ago and lots of people spoke out about fur...a horrible industry (you have no idea) ....they even issued bomb threats to the auction house when those sales were on. (I wasn't part of them - I worked in fine art) and eventually...they were stopped.

Conscience...we all have one of varying degrees. The world needs passion, people who speak out..if the cause is right. Treating animals with respect and decency before we slaughter them? Basic.

[cuillereasoupe]

My suggestion upthread was tongue-in-cheek but actually it might be a useful way of showing the girl that things aren't as black and white as she thinks. Personally I care more about food miles as an environmental issue than I do about animal welfare, as I think it has a greater impact on the long-term health of the planet. It might be a good way to get her thinking around the subject and that it isn't her way or the highway.

[SoupDragon]

Good for her, it's people like her that will change the world for the better

Since when have dictators changed the world for the better?

[LifeOnACrunchieBar]

agree punk :)

[cuillereasoupe]

punkatheart, does the "they" being stopped in your post refer to the bombers or to the auctions?

I don't have a problem with fur personally. I have more of a problem with hundreds of Bangladeshis dying in clothing factory fires to supply Disney with cheap clothes: news.yahoo.com/ap-exclusive-disney-sears-used-factory-fire-065851175--finance.html

Again, I applaud the girl's conscience, but she needs to be made aware sooner or later that not everyone will agree with her, and that doesn't make them wrong.

[Mu1berries]

wow. if she is thinking of it in terms of rights, let her know that she doesn't have the right to ruin everybody else's christmas. other people have the right to a peaceful happy christmas. Next year she can cook christmas lunch for 15.

[honeytea]

Yes the food miles are an interesting thing to bring up, also the carbon footprint of my family flying to see us.

My mother is ver proud of her lack of carbon footprint, walking/cycling whenever she can and buying local but they travel around the world so in my opinion that counteracts the good and she probably has a pretty average carbon footprint. My mum also maintains that she can "borrow" some of my brother's positive carbon contribution (he works designing renewable energy sources) but he also enjoys regular long haul flights, I have said that I don't think my brother gets to count the energy he produces as his own carbon footprint (never mind donate some to his mother) as it is the people who use the renewable energy who get to count it as their carbon footprint.

Anyway, as you can see the discussion over our christmas dinner will be interesting if not a little un festive.

[wewereherefirst]

If you were planning on feeding her a battery turkey knowing her beliefs then I would say it wouldn't be fair, but I would be explaining to her about the right and wrong way to discuss what other people eat and how her wording would come across wrong to some and be inflammatory. She's at the age now where being guided onto the right way to discuss things will help her, rather than let her carry on the way she is.

[quesadilla]

OK she's not a teenager. But principle stands. Punk this is not "activism" it's just wanting to be the centre of attention.

[Mu1berries]

Yes laQueen, caring about causes is admirable. my own ten year old is a bit shallow. she wants curling tongues but there has to be a realisation that one 9 year old can't dictate to a large bunch of adults. There is a lack of self-awareness there on 9 year old's part. Part of growing up but it wouldn't do her any favours to believe that she can show up, not contributing financially to the cost of the meal, not preparing it or clearing up and yet TELL the people who are paying for it and doing the work how to do it 'right'. I wouldn't tolerate that from my 10 yo. The actual cause is beside the point.

[LifeOnACrunchieBar]

I cannot believe some of the responses on here. Compliance and conformity are not the be all and end all. In fact, it's more important to know when to be compliant and conform and when not too.

[Mu1berries]

But it's not about compliance. It's about her thinkning that she can tell the adults what to pay for what to prepare and cook whilst sitting on her ass directing from a comfy chair.

[Mu1berries]

huge difference between "compliance" and thinking you can tell a large group of adults how to spend their money and behave. HUGE difference.

[cuillereasoupe]

I don't think I suggested caring about one precludes the other, did I? My point is that OP's sis needs to realise that the moral high ground is relative and culturally determined. I happen to live in a place where fur doesn't register highly as a moral issue.

[Mu1berries]

I do agree that you should learn when to be compliant and when to speak out though. Yes, and often on here you'll read threads from women whose mothers in law look after their toddlers forty hours a week for £100 a week and they give out that the mothers in law let them watch a bit of tv or gave them a biscuit. there's a time to weigh things up and either say thank you so much but I'll take over and do it myself, OR, as you are doing all the hard work i will privately make a few concessions and I will smile and say thank you.

I wouldn't expect a ten year old to get this, but adults shouldn't be indulging her.

[barbarianoftheuniverse]

yes. your sister is right and good for her.

[specialsubject]

absolutely. If she were really that principled she wouldn't be taking a massive flight for a few days, and she wouldn't be attending a lunch where there might be non-free-range food. So the best thing is that she stays at home, working to contribute to her own food, fuel and clothing like kids in some countries have to do. Of course she is a pamperered nine year old and can't do that.

or she politely refuses the turkey, eats the rest and shuts up until she is old enough to work to pay to live her life as she chooses. Just like the rest of us did when confronted with family traditions that we didn't like.

[quesadilla]

Crunchie: but no one is asking her to "comply" with anything. The OP is giving her a veggie alternative. She is essentially asking to be allowed to disrupt the meal and embarrass her family to make a point which she could make quite adequately - without compromising her principles - just by talking calmly about it rather than having a strop at Xmas dinner.

[MummytoKatie]

Question - in Tescos yesterday there was a food bank collecting.

If you can only afford to do one of donate to the food bank or buy free range which should you do? Or maybe which would you do. Do the fact that Tescos ups your foodbank donation by 30% make a difference?