AIBU !

[NotQuiteWithItAtAll]

I've just had a bath. All clean and smooth downstairs. Drank a bottle of wine so feeling pretty adventuras. Get into the bedroom and he is snoring away.
Considering it's taken me about 2 hours to get ready for some hanky panky compared to him being ready whenever wherever.
What is the point. I never told him what I wanted tonight, but surely he's a mind reader. Ungrateful bastard. Now what am I going to do with this smooth fanjo. Grrrrrr.

Just wake him up - he won't mind I'm sure!

You obviously can't have veeted the fanjo due to wanting relations. Veet is a good contraceptive

It's like when you were young and you'd always get a winch if you'd eaten cheese n' onion crisps. Typical.

Ha, my dh did this once, he was out on a Xmas do, I felt all fruity and text him all this suggestive stuff which he joined in with ...
He came home, I'm all bathed and negligee'd up, he announced he thought I was joking and fell instantly into snoring sleep.

All I feel like doing now is fucking suffocating him. How dare he snore Fazit me. He can wait another bloody month now! That'll teach him.

took you 2 hours to sort your minge out??

Veet the blaster!

Two hours? No wonder he's asleep

Veet the basterd**

Well actually I spent the first half an hour browsing on mumsnet. Then I de fluff the fanjo, pits and legs. I work nights you see so when I do de fluff them, its quite a mission. Another mumsnet read as a kind of celebration. It's not like he was in bed for 2 hours. He was watching the tv downstairs for 1 hour and 50 minutes there abouts. At least I have learnt from this to skip out the fanjo, pits and legs. And carry on with mumsnet. Ungrateful git.

You removed your winter pelt IN WINTER and are therefore going to freeze your assets off and he's asleep?!

Leave the bastard!

Thankyou coola. Knew it was a fucking special thing I did for him. There will be discussions in the morning. Popped open the second bottle of wine. He turns over so I get all excited and spill the damn glass of wine all over MY side of the bed. Screw this. Sex isn't worth THAT much!

Sex? What is this mythical practice you speak of?

Yabu - you spent 2 hours getting ready :o

Next time just fem fresh yourself and the pounce

Haha! My DH just said the other day that when I tell him I'm off in the bath because I need to shave he does a mental "ohhhhh yeeeeaaah"

It's definitely code for "let's have a quicky before the baby wakes up/DD sleep walks/someone has a bad dream".