To not consider myself a 'young mum'?

[AnneNonimous]

I am 21, my DS is 8 months old.

A friend of mine from school had her DD two weeks before mine. She is the same age as me. She is always running on about how tough it is being a young mum, and how people judge her etc. And how well she is doing considering. She goes clubbing a lot and on holidays without her DD who is left with her parents as she feels entitled to still be 'young'.

We are both in the same situation living at home and single parents. While I wholeheartedly agree that it's bloody hard as parenting is in general I don't class myself as a 'young mum'. I am young and I am a mum but in my opinion a young mum is a youngish teenager. I definitely don't qualify for any of the young mum courses in my area. At what age does it start being acceptable to just be a mum?

I am almost 21 and due my first anyday. I definitely don't consider myself a 'young mum' in the stereotypical sense! I have a degree, my own business, my own home/car/etc and I've been with my partner for 3 years, engaged for 1.

Everyone's different. I don't think 'age' as a number comes into it, more maturity that defines someone as 'young'. To me a young mum is one who is still quite childish themselves - clubbing and generally just selfish like the girl you described. A lot of my friends from school had kids at 16/7 and are better parents than many 30+ year old mums I know. That said, I know I personally wouldn't have coped well with a baby at that age.

I'm soooooo jealous, would love to be a young mum

(Realise how unhelpful this post is but really am green eyed)

21 is definitely young to be a mum.

It's all down to maturity isn't it and not age. But enjoy the label I say. It's far better that being called an old mum believe me.

I think you are a young mum but that's not an insult.

I was a mum at 17. I fell pregnant by accident but from the moment I POAS I was a mum and I did everything I could for my baby. I felt ready. Myself and dd's father lived with my parents until I was 19. When we moved out, got married and had ds. So I had 2 dc at 19. I was happy with my life and family.

Looking back I was young there's no denying that. But it hasn't stopped me being the best mum I can be. Unfortunately my relationship with dcs father didn't last. I think that was mainly to do with us both being young, but it can and does happen AR any age. And we've been amicable. We are both now in stable relationships, me married and him engaged. And my children are well rounded and settled. (and very excited about the impending birth of their little brother/sister).

I don't feel much older this time round at 25 tbh, and I know I still get counted in the 'younger' bracket, even though now I feel much older than when I had dd. (although that's likely to be partly because I have an 8yo and 6yo!)

Try to take it all with a pinch of salt. Be the best you can be and let the 'labels' be just that. It's no skin off your nose.

(sorry for rambling, 38 wks and can't sleep, urgh)

I think you are a young mum, but when people (especially HCPs and social workers, HVs etc,) say 'young mum' they usually mean teenagers.

You are an adult, albeit a young one, and 30 or 40 years ago it was not at all uncommon for most women to marry and become mothers at your age, but these days it is fairly unusual and I imagine most women having babies at 20 or 21 in the same position as you.

I'd say you were a young mum, as I've had my first aged 32 and I certainly feel like an older mum. Looking back at my 21 year old self there's no way I could have dealt with having a child, though that's not to say that you are the same.

I'm actually jealous of younger mothers because they'll have so much more time with their kids, more in common and similar memories of the social eras they lived in.

You are a young mum...my mum referred to me as a young mum the other day and i had to correct the old dear.....im 38!

IN NHS terms I was virtually geriatric at 33, so make the most of it

For me you are a "young mum" but probablyore likely to consider you as as that because you live at home etc.

To many people that would mark you as "young".

However, it's doesn't have to be a bad thing. If you are ready for it then thats fine. Your friend clearly isn't!

YABU! because if you're not a young mum, what hope have I got of being one at 29?! [bwink]