Who is BU regarding shared ownership of house?

[PITAfamily]

Person A and person B are related and they own a house together. This came about because person A was moving and person B needed a home, all was fine. Mortgage contributions have always been shared.

Since then Person B and their family have ostracised Person A over another issue and are now demanding that A signs over their half of the house for nothing.

A has looked into it and found several issues that mean it would not be a wise legal move and also feels that as they have been treated so badly, why should they give away their only asset for nothing just because they are being told to. B and family are not used to hearing no when they tell someone what to do.

A has said that B can buy A's share of the house, which has caused the most monumental row and a hell of a lot of abuse being sent/said/written to A.

A is now beginning to wonder s/he is BU and should just sign the house over.

I am neither A nor B, but wanted an honest opinion on what A should do.

Oh, and I think you should say to your husband that if he does give in to this, he is never, for the rest of his life, EVER, allowed to moan about it or mention it or talk about the amount of money he gave away. You will not want to hear him say anything about it. By signing, he will be saying he is ok with this and that means he loses any right to be at all cross or upset about it.

And work out how much money he will be giving away. 50% of a house doesn't feel as much as £100,000. iyswim. When you translate it into actual cash, it feels more real. imo anyway.

Firstly i would get your dh to write a letter to Bs solicitor saying that he isnt agreeing to this. You can do that for the price of a stamp.

I missed that you are married to A!!

I assume you don´t want half of a house given away!

It´s yours as well, isn´t it?

Ask your DH if marrying you was really such a bad deal that he feels that it is right to pay a fine to his family to apologise for it.

Because that's what he will be doing. He's done something they don't like so they think he should give them something valuable to make up for it.

Who actually lives in the house? All of you or now just B's family. Whose name is on the deeds and mortgage coz it sounds like b moved into you DHs house but paid half the mortgage, doesn't give them right to make dh sell.

Writing to the solicitor doesn't stop your DH's family from using another solicitor. I bet that A's solicitor will have included in his covering letter with the documents that B should seek independent legal advice before signing anything. Any solicitor worth his salt would be highly suspicious that someone is willingly signing away an asset and will cover their back. A's solicitor is not the problem, the family is, go to a solicitor, why mess about, they are experts are dealing with these type of issues

B and Bs family sound like nasty bastards. Who in their right mind expects someone else to just hand over the equivalent of thousands and thousands of pounds for no reason?

There has got to be more to this story than you have posted, I think Bs side of the story would be interesting.

Well, have just spoken to A and he says that he thinks that B may not even know!

B has a disability that means that B's mother has often done things "for the best" and told B about it afterwards. He thinks that this may be one of those things. B does not have learning issues, but the mother is extremely controlling. This is why they dont like me, because I dont automatically do what I am told and once actually said "no" to them (you should have seen her face!). The problem is that B was the first to jump on the "your wife is a fucking bitch" bandwagon when we got marrried, so he wont contact her. They would have hated anyone he married, its nothing personal and they have form for cutting off family for imagined slights. One uncle is no longer spoken to for making a joke about how old he was, and they took it as an insult to them and havent spoken to him for 15 years.

He has read the thread and agrees that he shouldnt sign and we will see a solicitor next week, so thank you for your help. But he has just admitted that he knows that this will be final in terms of the estrangement. He had hopes that one day his mother would come round, and doing this will totally wipe out any chances of reconciliation and he is just struggling with that a bit. Also, having been brought up to do as he is told no matter what, the idea of saying no to her is actually quite alien. When he married me she was utterly vile, and I think he was hoping to avoid that again.

If he can force the sale of the house he should do that, take his equity, and have nothing to do with any of them again.

Well, not exactly sure of the relationship between A&B.

But, A has bought half a house-& his own mum will estrange herself because he doesn´t want to give that away to a relative?

Sorry, but with a mother like that...

And also, as an adult with a family-his first obligation is to them-not parents/siblings.

And as an adult he no longer has to do what his parents/siblings want/say-he must realise that-no matter how he was brought up?

If they cut off someone for 15 years for making a joke I don't think they will forgive him even if he gives up his half of the house. :(

How absolutely awful for him. They have put him in an impossible position, where he has a choice of either fucking over his family (that is YOU) or 'being the bad guy'. Effectively, he can either choose to 'be the bad guy' in their movie or give up any hope of an independent life where he chooses anything at all about his life.

The problem is....if he caves on this, they will just raise the bar. If he tells himself 'it's only money after all', he will find that next time it will be something else, and something else, and something else, until they have either destroyed his relationships with anyone other than them, or he finally plays 'the bad guy'.

And then they will claim that they knew he was a bad guy all along and poor little them that they have such a nasty son/brother, etc. etc. etc.

Sadly there is no way out of toxic relationships like this one other than to cut them off and live with the fact that they will continue to delude themselves about who did what to whom.

Get him to a solicitor himself and work out a way out of this, if he has to be the bad guy with people already think he's shit, what is he losing? Alternatively, he can give away £100k or so, making him look like a complete tosser to his wife, and suddenly think the people who don't like him will think he's great, or more likely, think that their request was completely reasonable and actually, he's still a bad guy for not just doing it off his own back several years before. Either way, they'll think he's the 'bad guy', but one way means you get a large chunk of money to secure your own future.

Do some somes, if you put the half of that house value as a overpayment on your mortgage, how much would your monthly repayments drop each month? What could you do with that extra cash each month? Would it pay for your DCs to go to uni without needing loans?

The plot thickens.

We visited someone today who used to be part of the family pre-divorce, he asked us to go round. He has been getting phones calls from the mother because she knows that we see him, telling him to tell DH that he has to go to his mothers to sign this paper work. He said that he didn't want to be involved and she let slip that B wants to sell the house and can't until DH signs it over to her. She said that it proved how selfish HE was! !

So, it is a pre-planned screw over. They are planning to sell the house and don't want to have to pay him a penny. We think that this is connected to another sibling who needs to sell his house in order to relocate for work, so we think they want to sell the house DH has the share in, not pay him a penny of the equity, and use it to buy the brothers house so he can move. Confused yet?! This will all be perfectly reasonable according to the mother, she will not see a problem in this at all. Oh and she said it was my fault that he wasnt co-operating, which makes sense I suppose as she was always in charge of him as far as she was concerned, so now I am his wife so I must now be in charge of him. God forbid that he should have a mind of his own and actually come to a decision for himself.

He spent some time on the computer earlier looking at legal information and then asked me what solicitor I used when I bought my house, as it was a complicated sale and they were really good. He is making an appointment first thing on Monday morning.

He is very quiet tonight and obviously angry and upset, but he seems at peace with is decision. Now he knows exactly what they are prepared to do and how little they think of him, he has accepted that cutting them off completely is the only way forward. I will be ordering the Toxic Parents book next week when I get paid.

I think that this will run and run, but if I ever do get an update, I promise to post it. Thanks for all your support, he was already feeling differently after he read what was posted on here, so it really did help.

Thank you.

Well, at least he knows he is losing nothing. People who could do that to him don't love him and it's no loss to no longer have them in his life.

OMG the fact they think they can get away with this amazes me. In this day and age property is the one thing worth having, if DH has had the property a while then he's going to gave equity why do they think he would just sign it over? Unless you're millionaire's OP and don't need the money!!.

Who currently lives in the house as you obviously don't? Is it B and family or us it rented out.

it sounds as though if not this then there could easily be something in the future that would "offend" them.

He might as well get the money he is due & cut from them now as opposed to let them fleece him & be cut off in the future.

They must think he is either very thick or very subservient if they thought that this was a goer.

All the best for Monday.

Update awaited!