to invite someone on a holiday I know they can't afford

[Banterpanther]

Planning a skiing holiday with a few female friends.

Sister in law loves skiing, however I know she doesn't have much spare cash and highly doubt she would be able to afford to come.

Is it better to:

1.) invite her (knowing she can't afford it, and she knows I know she can't afford it, IYKWIM). I think this might make her feel down about the fact she can't afford it, and I am concerned it is a bit insensitive to invite someone on a £1000 holiday when you know they are broke; or

2.) Not invite her. She's not really an integral part of the group of girls who are going, so I could get away with this, but then when she hears about the holiday she might wonder why she wasn't invited as she knows I know she loves to ski......

I would invite her but say something like I know it's a lot so don't worry if it's a no. She's more likely to be upset at not being included I'd say.

I would tell her that you are planning this holiday and she is more than welcome but you realise money is tight and understand if she can't make it. I think i would be more cross at not being invited.

I'd invite her.

She has the option then of:
a) saving up
b) asking someone to help her out
c) instead of xmas/birthday presents asking for help towards her trip by way of spending money
d) saying thanks but no thanks as I can't afford it

I'd invite her. She can say no, but it won't be nice for her to feel she was excluded from an invitation because of her finances.

YABU. Option 3.... Book something that you can all participate in rather than swanning off without someone with whom you claim to be an 'integral part of the group'!!! If she's such an important friend, change your plans.

Cogito - op said she is NOT really an integral part of the group.

Definitely invite her. Them's the breaks sometimes (re. not being able to afford things).

Oh well... if you don't like her that much, why would she think she should be tagging along anyway?

It's a tough one. If you're not bothered about her going then don't invite her. If you'd like her to come, maybe ask her when you're alone so she can say whether or not she wants to come, without embarrassing her in front of people.

It is a no-brainer really. What would you like to happen if you were SIL OP? Invite her, and go with what Ghoul said.

Invite her but DON'T say 'I know money is tight' - how patronizing/smug.