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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how much and how often you give presents to teachers?

118 replies

Belladonna666 · 30/11/2012 12:44

The school my child goes to have asked all parents to contribute £10 per child to the teachers communal presents. I don't mind doing this occasionally but they are going to ask for another contribution at the end of the summer of the same amount. This all adds up and we are forever being asked to contribute £ for this and that. I personally think it is more appropriate to give the teachers a present once a year at the end of the summer term. I hardly know my child's new teacher and feel that I would rather contribute at the end of the year.

The problem is that if I don't contribute it will be very obvious as it is a small school with a lot of well off parents for whom £10 is pocket money but we are on a small budget and it is a lot for us to be paying out £40 per year just for communal presents (for both my children when my youngest starts school).

AIBU?

OP posts:
Helenagrace · 30/11/2012 16:23

I usually send in a box of homemade fudge or brownies at Christmas and the end of the year.

Last year I made the homemade stuff into a little gift bag with a book token and a can of Pimms for DD's dyslexia teacher as she had been so amazing with DD and we really had an incredible improvement in DD's confidence and spelling.

MsVelvet · 30/11/2012 16:41

I had this not long ago, was made to feel humiliated because i did not have money to put towards a group gift, that if i had wanted/could of bought gift for my DD's then nursery i would have done it on my own back. Worst feeling ever when she told me she wouldn't put my DD's name on their card, like i gave a shit about that.

expatinscotland · 30/11/2012 16:45

Ouch! The kids just make cards, usually.

healstorturepeople · 30/11/2012 16:47

I used to be a teacher and would be horrified if the school did this. I was happy with the occasional bar of chocolate and a handmade card. Was this the class rep though or the school? I can't even imagine a school doing this. It must be a parent rep surely?

£10 is an awful lot of money and I would never have expected any gift, let alone one that cost that much. Just decline and say you won't be railroading into giving a set amount. Then give the teacher a card and a mug if you want to.

skiesmylimit · 30/11/2012 16:53

I actually need an idea for a present for DS's teacher for christmas?
I'm choosing to buy one, nothing has been set. I certainly wouldn't co-operate with being asked for £10.

healstorturepeople · 30/11/2012 17:03

skiesmylimit maybe:
flowers.
a poinsetta (spelling?) plant.
A Christmas tree decoration.
A tub of homemade mince pies (or bought!).
A scratch card! A lottery ticket!
One of those little reading lights you can attach to a book? (about £5-6).

socharlotte · 30/11/2012 17:16

I wonder what the value of gift vouchers etc ateacher can receive in a year before it becomes taxable?
I think it's £150 but not sure?

stargirl1701 · 30/11/2012 18:03

Best present ever - a packet of Percy Pigs. I love them Grin

Might've mentioned that too much last year - 17 children in the class bought me a packet...

Mintyy · 30/11/2012 18:06

Yanbu to wonder.

teacher123 · 30/11/2012 18:09

I love Percy pigs!

coldcupoftea · 30/11/2012 19:46

£10 each, that is madness, so the teacher gets £300?! If there has to be a collection, I would say £1 or £2 each is more than adequate.

dementedma · 30/11/2012 20:21

I don't. Don't give to the lollipop man, the janitor, the bus driver,the postman, the doctor, uncle tom cobbley or anyone else I can't afford to give gifts to

HappyMummyOfOne · 30/11/2012 20:53

I think its wrong for the school to organise, it should be down to the parents if they choose to do this. We do summer and xmas gifts to the school staff and maybe daffodils at easter.

TwitchyTail · 30/11/2012 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mintyy · 30/11/2012 21:09

I've never given a present to a teacher! If someone else in the class organises a whip-round then I'll very happily contribute, but otherwise I kinda think teachers don't expect it.

I did buy Christmas presents for childminders, of course. And our cleaner has a 1 week bonus.

But that's it [meanie].

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 01/12/2012 00:09

I very much doubt all of that money is going to one teacher. It will be shared by at least one TA, often two or three TAs, and it's quite normal for a class to have two regular teachers as well.

QueenMaeve · 01/12/2012 01:26

Yanbu. As a teacher this disgusts me. A number of years ago we asked parents to forego gifts at all for our staff, and donate a few pounds to charity instead.

Olivess · 01/12/2012 02:39

I am a teacher and would feel very uncomfortable receiving gifts like this. It is not personal and feels a bit money grabbing if you see what I mean.

The best gifts I have received have been handmade -
Eg. a blanket with a handwoven motif on it when I went on maternity leave (done by the child) and homemade mince pies at Christmas.

These are far more thoughtful and meaningful than a voucher. I get paid a salary to do my job and do not need or expect it to be topped up.

Valdeeves · 01/12/2012 06:25

I'm a teacher - I think that's awful. I agree - its the comment in the side the card that really matters to you. I worked with children who didn't have a lot of spare cash so presents when given were probably a bit of a struggle for the parents. It's always nice to be thought of but honestly most of us don't expect them - a card is nice though - we keep them!

Valdeeves · 01/12/2012 06:26

Inside!

Mrsrobertduvallsaysboo · 01/12/2012 06:48

Thank god this stops at secondary.

I always buy dd's form tutor some wine, and any staff who have really supported her over the year.

Moln · 01/12/2012 06:59

My boys school have done this ever since they started. It's also 10 (each boy) for Christmas and end of year. (and I've just wondered what will happen this year with Ds1's class as he's two teacher worksharing - will it be 10 between or 10 each?)

I've never contributed, mostly because I thought it was an awful lot for a present that wasn't showing any personal gratitude. I've varied in what's gven depending on the teacher, one teacher was brilliant and made a big impact on ds1and I was very grateful to her.

End of last year Ds2 (6) made his teacher a card and wrote 'thank you for helping me read and write' (having asked for help with spelling!) and drew a picture of hom and her.

He also made her a bookmark (slightly unusable imo as it was at least a foot long!) and she came over to me and said she was very touch by his card.

Sargesaweyes · 01/12/2012 07:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 01/12/2012 07:19

I've mostly helped my children make presents for teachers who they have really liked. Our current PTA puts on a thank you meal for the school staff, with parents volunteering to bring in food or to help with set up and clear away. I think that's a nice tradition (and our school doesn't have a canteen so it's nice for them to have a hot meal too I think) plus the children obviously can help.

georgie22 · 01/12/2012 07:27

I'm a nurse and the guidelines from the Nursing and Midwifery Council on accepting gifts is very clear and this does often cause difficult situations when people want to show their appreciation. To be honest I find the thought of being asked to give £10 per child for a present quite horrifying. It could be seen as a way of 'paying' for preferential treatment in my eyes. Posters have commented that it is a way of showing appreciation to a teacher but they are being paid to do that job so a card or personal message to the head teacher should suffice and be more valued in my opinion.