HV is an hour late - ds is ready for a nap - aibu to let him sleep knowing she won't be able to see him?

[doublecakeplease]

9 month check - work commitments mean I can't rearrange till after Xmas but ds will be a grump if I try to keep him awake...

Definitely let him sleep. She might be very late, in which case she can do his checks when he wakes up. Did she call you?

If she mentions him being asleep just tell her he got bored of waiting.

Lateness is ride isnt.it.

Oops - rude

Nope - no call. I called her on Monday to say we had to leave the house by 10.30 for a prearranged date with a friend and her little one. I've had to let friend know I'll be very late :-(

I wouldn't make him stay awake and I wouldn't be late leaving either.

I always cancel my babies pointless 8 month checks.

HV are always late, running round like headless chickens. Let him sleep.

Oh that's her fault - sorry, but if she wants a child awake she has to turn up on time.

Also I imagine babies are often asleep by accident when she goes to see them. She can still ask you a few questions about how he is getting on.

Let him sleep!

Go and meet your friend , leave a note on the door for the late and rude health visitor . Or phone her and say you can't wait any longer .
That is if you have no concerns about your babies development

Oh and go to your friend's, if you can, with him asleep - don't wait in is what I am trying to say.

let him sleep but when she arrives she will have to see him, people like helth visitors often run late...next time ask for an appointment where they are based? then you can ring and find out if they are running late and by how much (like at the doctors)

I always give HV the benefit of the doubt and accept they may be late. She may have gone to what was meant to be a routine appointment and found a serious problem, a mum who is struggling, a neglect case. They don't set out to be late and if they are it's because another mum or child needed them.

I saw my HV every week for ten months - she was often late so I used to plan for it. I do have a different pov as I also knew my HV team through work so I know the sort of things they deal with.

Hope she comes soon - not least because the later she is the potentially more serious the reason for her lateness.

(I know it's irritating though!)

They are often late at hom because things happen. they end up on last minute safe guarding things that take longer than anticipated, a new mum bursts into tears on them and so on. The best thing for checks is to organise to drop into a clinic for it.

She was an hour and 20 mins late - no explanation. Saw ds asleep and said 'oh - he'll have to be woken'. Pointless visit really - asked me about milestones - which he's hitting - but took my word for it and signed him off as age appropriate. I could have been in denial and fibbing but hey ho. Luckily he woke before she left to be weighed - I'd not have woken him otherwise I think. Missed my fun morning with my friends :-(

I think an explanation might have been in order. If something had come up, it would have made you feel a lot better about waiting if you knew it was justified.

I've had some truly distracted HVs before.

I'm just being a grump - I totally understand they have a crazy workload - but so do I and I love meeting friends. Oh well - sulk over! Thanks though - made me feel stronger about not waking him etc.

It's annoying. But why did you arrange to meet friends after HV visit? I don't book my GP appointments with meeting friends back to back for this reason.

You don't have to see the hv. 8-12month check is exactly what you just experienced. They ask you about the baby (they don't have time to sit around and wait for each behaviour to be displayed), check weight, ask if you have concerns etc. No reason whatsoever to see the hv if you have no concerns, certainly not if it's interfering with plans. I always arrange to go to the clinic if I need to as I know the hv will be there at a certain time along with nursery nurses and assistants to help with the smooth running.

HVs are massively overstretched here and go from dealing with a failure to thrive baby to a woman gripped by PND to a million other things besides. It has a knock on effect for time keeping sadly.

Sorry you missed your fun morning. It's really disappointing for you.

I would have gone out, OP, it's really not on to be that late. Poor you, I have to take days off work for this kind of thing and like to line up other nice things for those days, so I would be a grump too.

I arranged to meet friends because it's my only day off to do so. Stupidly assumed that if we were the first appointment of the day I'd be fairly safe!

ok, fair enough. Working full time and dealing with the whims of the NHS is a ball ache.

Let him sleep. On ds's 8 week check the hv told me she was coming at 10.00 and ended up coming at 11.30. I had just put some pasta on for dd and completely forgot about it until the smoke alarm went off. We were then late for Dd's nursery and the rest of the day was a bag of shit. Don't mess up your routine just because she's late.

If there is no reason for the HV to come to you, it is a lot more convenient to go to the clinic rather than cancel all your plans waiting in for them. I'm about 9 months late for my 8 month check up now though. Whoops!

My HV didn't turn up when DD1 was a newborn for one of her home visits. I said to them no more home visits ever I'd fucking well tidied up the rude no showing bitch and went to the clinic after that.

I think it's really rude that she didn't explain why she was late, or at least offer an apology.