to think it's ok to ditch family for being dicks?

[ToncanLancey]

My mum was raped off bil (Oldest sisters husband) around the time of my conception. My mum and dad(?) had been going out a year both were 18). I knew nothing of this until a huge feud between the family after my maternal grandmother died and my mothers siblings (3 sisters & 2 brothers) started a seriously bitter argument. My mother only told me cos one of her brothers said he would he tell me! She was hysterical, I adore my mother cos df fucked off at 3 yrs old. Love her sooo much and so do the gc. What the fuck should I feel cos apparently everybody knows. I used to think the family loved me cos my mum worked super hard but now its cos they are all fuckin lying arseholes who felt sorry for me! When I was told this I felt nothing but comfort for my dm. How should I react!? I have no idea. Makes me happy to be only child. Who lets their sister get raped?!?! Is this totally fucked or did most families sweep things under the rug back in the day?

I've no advice. In your situation I think I would just leave the family to get on with whatever they want to get on with and give your Mum lots of love.
It's the middle of the night now, I am sure that more sensible people will be along soon.
You could ask for this to be moved to relationships.

Is your aunt still with the same man? Ar you saying that your mother has been tolerating a family relationship all these years with her sister and this man, even though the whole family knows what he did?

If that is the case then, honestly, I don't understand ANY of them. least of all your mum.

Are you saying there is a question mark over paternity of you?

Rape still has stigma attached to it and it had a lot more stigma attached when your motherwas younger. That's why no one spoke about it. also no one would want to bring a child up with that child having the knowledge that they may be the child of a rapist. That is a terrible burden for a child to bear.

You say the rape happened at the time of your conception, so I suppose it is questionable whether your mothers husband, or her sisters husband is your biological father.

My aunt is still with her husband. She might know although she has never treated me differently, her husband on the other hand would turn up at our house and my dm would pretend to play a game where we would hide and keep quiet. My dm got told off my gm that she was too pretty for her own good at the time so I think she was probably shamed into keeping quiet to not bring attention to the family. I adored my Gran so to think she had the nature to do this to save face just disgusts me.

" Who lets their sister get raped?!?! "

are you saying your mum's family knew he was going to do it and didn't do anything?