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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think DP is being a big arse?

30 replies

ellargh · 29/11/2012 17:35

DP has been out at work today and when I came home from picking DD up he was at home on the laptop. I came out and had a cigarette by the back door then asked how his day went etc.

He asked me to take the fish pie out of the oven. I have fibromyalgia and am having a really bad day to the point where my legs feel like they will give out from under me. He knows this. I try anyway but my wrist gave way and some of the fish pie got smooshed into the oven door.

Apparently he can't serve that now and I'm a waste of space so why don't I just fuck off back to the living room and do nothing instead of doing nothing in the kitchen. He said I'm useless as I can't even pick a tray up. When I challenged him and told him I'm not in control of the illness and he has no right to speak to anyone that way let alone his fiance he just reiterated that I can obviously do nothing.

Now I feel worse and he's asking why every time I reply its in a depressive fed up way. Confused

OP posts:
Glitterknickaz · 29/11/2012 18:16

Oh lovely.
DH knows full well that when I am having a bad day I drop things and even on good days I can't drain veg, rice or pasta or lift baking trays so he's always on hand to help when I'm in the kitchen.

It's a pain in the arse that I can't cook without him there but that's just the way it has to be with fibro, and DH accepts that as should your fiance.

It's not actually something you can control so being an arse at you isn't fair.

KeatsiePie · 29/11/2012 23:03

Glad you are going to insist that he goes back. In my limited experience any kind of illness is a loooong road. It's so common to improve while in counseling and then after a while backslide a bit.

So sorry you're realizing he is being emotionally abusive. I mean, good that you're realizing, but sorry that is the situation. I hope he can turn himself around.

curiousuze · 29/11/2012 23:20

This is absolutely horrible behaviour from him. I suffered badly from CFS when I met my husband and he never, ever would have dreamed of saying something like that to me if I was too tired to do something. I feel awful for you - fuck him and his fucking pie, I'd have lobbed it into the garden.

ellargh · 30/11/2012 00:55

I'm still not happy with him and he knows it but he's done all he can to help me tonight (hot chocolate, bringing the big duvet down, a hot water bottle, offered a back rub etc) and has said he will call his counsellor tomorrow. It's his day off so I'll know if he does call.

The sad thing was it wasn't even a pie I or he had prepared. It was a quick 15 minute ready meal from Iceland!

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 30/11/2012 02:02

The more you say to try and explain it away and tell us how awesome he is really, the more I think he sounds like a twat :(

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