Was Grandma being unreasonable?

[CreamOfTomatoSoup]

I recently went to stay for a week with my DM (lives 2hrs away), leaving my DH alone to look after the cat and to go to work (I am on mat leave). DM was telling my DGM about this trip and DGM said 'What did her DH do about his meals?'

Now it actually transpires that DH made the most of his freedom and went out for dinner all but one of the evenings. The one evening he was home he admitted to eating two pieces of southern fried chicken and a raw carrot.

Was DGM being unreasonable for making this sexist comment?
Was DH being U for eating fried chicken and a raw carrot?

Today's Grandma generation were the brains behind the Equal Pay act, the Sex Discrimination Act, they campaigned for the pill and free contraception, they invented the mini skirt and supported the civil rights movement.

Bit of a sweeping generalisation there. My childrens grandmother is only 62 and had to leave her job when she got married, as there was a legal bar to married women working in her job. They could only get the pill if they were married and paid for it. She did wear a mini, I'll give you that.

But OP is talking about HER grandmother, another generation back. My gran was far too old for a mini skirt or the pill, I can tell you. She was 45 in 1960.

Joolsy, I don't want to jump down your throat but if you'd asked me about what my DH did about food if I went away for a week I'd still be laughing when I got back. He's an adult. It's actually none of my business how he 'manages' to work the hot box thing in the cooking room.

Blu - I didn't say they weren't aware,I said they didn't campaign.

How old is your Grandma Op? ,
My Grandmother (who never worked once married) was most put out that I went back to work after maternity leave (who's going to cook, clean, make DH's sandwiches, iron his shirts, look after the DC?) I told her that if I didn't go to work there would be no house to do all of those things in as we wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage.
My other Grandmother did a night job and a small day job when my father was young to make ends meet and never commented about my choices (or lack of choice)
I don't think it's entirely a generation thing and yes, I think your Grandma's comment was unreasonable!

OK, maybe I'd have worded it a bit differently and said "is he alright about cooking his own meals?" in a very general way as I would be curious as to what they'd knock up for themselves. I would assume most blokes could knock up something decent, though my friend's husband has been known to eat cold baked beans out of a tin if she's not around to cook tea

Joolsy The implication was that OP's DH would have to fend for himself and how would he cope without his wife cooking for him whilst she was away.
Shock horror.

x post joolsy

"She comes from a generation where that was her concern. If she was to go away, she would have taken that into consideration. As strange as we feel that is, she will see our point of view strange."

Which point of view is that? The point of view of what seems to be, depressingly, the majority of mumsnetters that men can't do housework or cook because their penises get in the way?

Alisvolatpropiis Your grandfather sounds very similar to mine, as does Carling's.

It's possible that being in the army was a factor; but there were plenty of men who came out of the forces and didn't do anything domestic - my other grandfather didn't, for example.

I guess it just depends on the man.

My DH eats takeaways, soup and sandwiches when I'm away. He's lazy.

Very true Sonia.

depressingly, the majority of mumsnetters that men can't do housework or cook because their penises get in the way? I've never had that impression of people on MN.

seeker If you've never fried an egg, naked, on a camp fire stove with your penis flapping in the wind - don't be so quick to dismiss how easily it can get the way when cooking.

My DM (early 70s and very young in most of her thinking) thinks like this. She believes it is a woman's responsibility to cook, clean and iron for her husband, even if she works full time. We just don't discuss it any more.

Interestingly, my gran, who was in her early eighties at the time, was amazed to learn that when I got married I would be keeping my car. She thought it was ridiculous that a married couple should have two cars. My DF told her that I had a good job, could afford to pay to run my car, and needed the car to get to work. I was very proud of him.