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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel a bit upset by my 2yo ditching me?

6 replies

slatternlymother · 29/11/2012 11:20

DS has been off nursery sick for the past few days. Nothing serious, just temperature spikes and feeling a bit rubbish in general, so we kept him off to be safe.

Yesterday he was feeling much better, and DH was staying home with DS (we take it in turns). No medicine required, so just a day to chill out before nursery today.

I rang home at lunch and DH said DS was being very quiet, very whispery quiet voice, not really much. They played together for a little while, but DS seemed happier to just daydream and look out of the window. By the time I got home, DH was a bit put out that DS didn't seem himself and mentioned perhaps we should keep him off again today.

We got up this morning, and DS was fine and happy enough. We get to drop off, and the happiest little boy ever emerges. Greets his little friends with real joy, shouting their names and rushing off to play a game that's been organised by them.

I've totally been ditched by a 2yo and I feel quite upset, I feel like he doesn't really like us that much. We really make the effort to take him out to nice places and we all eat together and we have made such an effort to make this family a nice unit to live in because we grew up in such toxic ones. I'm worried we're doing it all wrong because DS just wants to be with his pals Confused

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slatternlymother · 29/11/2012 11:22

That makes me sound really needy now I read it back; it's not that, I just feel a bit... well, put out.
I'm glad he's happy at nursery, but I didn't expect to be shrugged off until the teen years!

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strawberrypenguin · 29/11/2012 11:24

Of course he likes you! You are is mum and dad. Don't think of it as him ditching you for his friends think of it that he's so secure in the fact that you'll be there at the end of the day/ when he needs you that he's happy to go and play for a while. It means your doing a great job Smile

Jingleflobba · 29/11/2012 11:25

No, you're doing it right! You're raising him to be a happy outgoing little boy who loves seeing his friends as well as spending time with you.
It is a bit gut wrenching when they just bugger off though, I spent a few drop offs saying 'bye then'' into the ether!

OneWellAndTrulyCrackeredMummy · 29/11/2012 11:31

Your ds is showing that he has 100% trust in you, he didn't ditch you he went & played because he was confident that you would be there to get him & you would be on time etc etc

If he didn't trust you then he would be hiding in your skirts refusing to go & play & that would be awful as he wouldn't let you out of his sight. Of course you want him to go & play with his friends, its normal behaviour & you have a normal little boy.

Plus we are now parents, it is our destiny to be forever uncool & dance like parents who never ever smoked or drank or stayed out late Grin We will always be shrugged off because we don't refer to each other as peng & we think radio 1 is too noisy. You know that we are not best friends with our ds's, we are their mothers & that will involve being disappointed & rejected but we are the only mothers that they have & that makes us special :)

slatternlymother · 29/11/2012 11:32

Thank you Smile

I think DH was hurt as well in a weird kind of way. DS really didn't say or do much of anything yesterday; napped quite a lot and ate very little. He just seemed unenthusiastic about life! We were worried he was sickening for something much worse, but seeing him rush off today into the playroom... He was SO happy to see his friends, and I know it's selfish but I think we both felt really rather hurt! Which is really rather pathetic; I mean he is 2!

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slatternlymother · 29/11/2012 11:35

I think it didn't help because I was reading the playpen thread yesterday and there was a lady going on about how she believed a relative of hers had 'done it all wrong' and the little boy was now quiet and withdrawn and I thought 'Oh God that's DS today! He is damaged for life because I let him read books in his cot on Saturday mornings!'

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