wedding presents...

[calypso2008]

AIBU to not buy a wedding present? The invite says clearly it is not expected, I am spending a small fortune flying to the wedding/hotels at both venue and airport etc... the couple getting married have everything already, I don't fancy spending 60 pounds on a John Lewis sheet.

Or, am I just being mean?

People who travelled to my wedding I said do not buy a present and I really meant it - and they didn't... the groom getting married soon was one of those guests. For me it was enough they spent the time and money getting to my wedding...

AIBU?

YANBU. We said no presents too, and we meant it. Some people brought a small gift or cash/vouchers anyway, some didn't, and either way it was absolutely fine. The important thing was for people to be there and have a fun time celebrating with us, which I hope they did.

However of the stuff that people did buy, only the cash and the chocolates were ever actually used. I'm sorry to say the homewares and the JL vouchers are still sitting untouched in a cupboard/drawer somewhere!

I tend to take people at their word, as a rule. If they don't mean it, they shouldn't say it!

Thanks teacher I remember I wrote to everyone who came to my wedding to thank them for coming. If they gave us a present I also thanked for that at the same time.

In fairness, my wedding was only 25 people!

Thanks for replying Ephiny

We didn't advertise our list, but gave details of it to people who asked, so we could steer them towards things we'd find useful and be able to fit into our Very Small House. We told anyone who asked that we didn't expect presents, we just wanted to have our friends and family around for the day - we meant it.

I couldn't tell you what proportion of the guests gave us presents. If you pointed to something I could tell you who it came from, but I couldn't reel off a list. The things that mean most are the vase from DH's Nan, who died not long before the wedding, and the card from my goddaughter, separate from the one from her parents, with a little poem she'd written for me.

I'm pleased to have a new toaster, the old one was shit, but if no-one had bought it for a wedding present, I'd have got one from Tescos.

Don't take anything. It won't be a problem really.

When I married the current Mr Korgasm we didn't want presents. We were financially stable with our own homes and didn't think it right to have a list. We just wanted our family and friends to celebrate with us. Some people really wanted to get us something, so we went down the JL voucher route, but only under duress. we bought a piece of furniture that we love with them.

We didn't want people to feel obliged to buy us stuff, so we included a 'no need for gifts' line in our invitations, but people we had told about this namely MIL insisted that we should have a list somewhere anyway just in case, so we ended up updating our invitation to reflect that. Some people got us stuff, some didn't. Either way, the only thing that mattered to us was that people came to the wedding and had fun.

On that basis, YANBU to not get a gift if going to the wedding is already expensive and the invite says they're not expected.

Thank you thecatiseatingit, fayeKorgasm (only got your name when typed it! and Kenleeeeee

Really good of you to reply.