Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is the school head?

67 replies

pingu2209 · 28/11/2012 17:35

A friend of mine is a keen facebook messager. She leaves messages on facebook about every aspect of her life. This includes events at school, good and bad. Her messages regarding the school are not about individual people, but about the school system or how it is run.

In recent weeks she has added 3 separate messages on facebook about the school. Firstly, the hours they have given her children at nursery. Secondly, the way the school disciplined one of her children when they were naughty. Thirdly, the way a teacher had shoved one of her children over when disciplining another one of her children. Her children are 3, 4, and 5 year old twins.

Yesterday, the head of the school asked her to stop adding any messages to facebook about what happens at the school. My opinion on this is that, as long as it isn't personal about an individual, messaging about the school is part of freedom of expression.

OP posts:
grovel · 28/11/2012 18:43

Frankly, my dear, your friend sounds like a self-absorbed moron. I'm sure she's lovely in all other respects.

annie987 · 28/11/2012 18:45

YABU the school and staff have no opportunity to respond on Facebook. How would your friend like it if people were saying things about her and she had no chance to give her side. Best left off Facebook IMO.

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 28/11/2012 18:48

I am actually confused.

A teacher assaults you 'friends' child and the head covers it up and your friends reaction to this is to post about on facebook. Not go to the LA or the Governors?

I think its about time your 'friend' started tackling problems like a grown up.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/11/2012 18:50

When she gets sued by someone for slander or libel, she may learn an important lesson.

natation · 28/11/2012 18:54

Oh god I've managed to push a child over before whilst at school, never intentional but it does happen, especially when they end up right behind me. I bet the teacher did it accidentally, so what would be the problem with that? I'd be mighty unhappy if a parent had written I'd shoved a child when in fact I had accidentally knocked over a child, it would indeed be libellous as it would be something reported as fact which was in fact false.

freddiefrog · 28/11/2012 18:55

I have a friend like this, she'd post at least weekly about something the school has done - naming teachers she doesn't like, complaining about the way the head dealt with bullying (by her child), anything and everything

She was also asked by the head to stop, or at least stop naming people. Friend refused to start with but I've noticed lately she hasn't posted anything (not sure if something happened to make her stop though)

She also posts stuff about people she's had arguments with/have upset her and PA vaguebooking stuff so used Facebook in quite a negative way iyswim

I think she's wrong to do it tbh, but I'm not sure if there's anything that can be done to stop her posting it on her own account

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 28/11/2012 19:04

but I'm not sure if there's anything that can be done to stop her posting it on her own account

Depends on what she is writing. In the OPs case the 'friend' believes her child was assaulted. So that could be liable. and if sued she would have to prove it happened.

If your friend is posting an opinion as in 'i don't like miss 'x skirt' thats different. In regards to bullying, again it would depend if she was accusing them of covering up or doing something illegal.

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 28/11/2012 19:09

It would also depend if she was putting someones job at risk.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 28/11/2012 19:25

Your friend sounds like a loon who needs to get herself an actual life.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/11/2012 19:30

FWIW, how would your friend feel if the teachers were talking about her parenting on a public forum? Or other people were talking about how she does her job? What about you? How would you feel?

MummytoKatie · 28/11/2012 19:48

To be honest if I believed a teacher had purposely shoved my child over and then lied and then the head refused to deal with it despite me being able to provide independent witnesses I would be too busy

(i) going to the governors
(ii) researching new schools for my children

To start posting about it on FB.

ilovesooty · 28/11/2012 19:58

I find myself in a situation where I hope that the teacher sues your friend

I agree. Perhaps it would teach her to behave like an adult instead of a whining teenager with no understanding of appropriate communication.

natation · 28/11/2012 19:59

Well the OP made no mention of the teacher purposely shoving a child did she? How far was the teacher from the "witness"? Did she hear any conversation which went on between the teacher and children?

Anyone remember the Guardian advert where looking at the same event from different angles told a different story?

Personally I think parent power has gone mad in the UK

MummytoKatie · 28/11/2012 20:13

True but if it's a case that the teacher accidentally stepped backwards and walked into the child and knocked them over then why is the Op's friend going to the head / spouting on FB.

Presumably friend thinks it is on purpose so why is she wasting time on FB.

Or if she doesn't think it is on purpose and it was just a silly accident that could happen to anyone then why is she wasting the head's time with it?

Either way it seems a bit confusing. And that the friend has her priorities wrong.

clam · 28/11/2012 20:15

This thread's got to be a wind-up, right?

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 28/11/2012 20:17

Well the OP made no mention of the teacher purposely shoving a child did she?

Yes she did. She said The head said he would deal with it and said it was unacceptable to shove a child hard enough that they fell over (or at all, of course).

note the 'unacceptable to shove a child'. So at that point the headteacher had been told the teacher shoved the child. Not 'accidently knocked over'.

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 28/11/2012 20:18

I mean yes she did, whilst going round the houses

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 28/11/2012 20:22

I agree with the Head

jamdonut · 28/11/2012 20:24

We, as school staff have no right of reply on FB these days. We have training days about what is and isn't acceptable to post and how to have our security settings . We are on pain of death to discuss anything other than the dreariest details about our school life i.e. Thank god its Friday and Where did the weekend go? !!
And yet parents etc think it is OK to post what they like.

And as for "shoving" a child over, I will dare bet it was accidental in trying to get to another child to stop them doing something.
It is scary...a child in my class went to go out of the classroom despite being told not to. I put my hand out to say no and as he brushed my hand he did what can only be described as a footballer's dive except backwards, rolled over and got up rubbing his arm going "Owwwwww!" very loudly. I stood there open-mouthed and aghast at what had just occurred. Then my class teacher said loudly to the child "I saw that WXYZ, I saw what you did" and he walked away , looking sheepish.
Sometimes, in school, things happen which are not the "fault" of staff. Some children,unfortunately, know exactly what they are doing.

MrsMelons · 28/11/2012 20:24

If the teacher did shove the children then it is completely inappropriate however it is just way too personal to put on FB.

I put a load of crap on facebook I admit however I try not to put anything that is private/personal or involves anyone else. I put photos on there and stuff but would never advertise particular grievances. I find it really odd that people do and I can't blame the HT for asking.

I would be pissed off if the HT failed to sort out an issue like this but your friend sounds a bit dramatic!

natation · 28/11/2012 20:24

you didn't say "it was it was unacceptable for THIS PARTICULAR TEACHER TO SHOVE THIS PARTICULAR CHILD hard enough that they fell over"

you didn't say "this particular teacher shoved the child on purpose"

I have knocked over a child who has stood right behind me before at school and yes they have fallen to the ground. You know what, children have also stood on my feet, caught my hair, spilled water over me, hit me, run into me, all these things they have done accidentally whilst playing. It's an occupational hazard.

Saski · 28/11/2012 20:25

Are people friends with their kids' teachers on FB?

FrustratedSycamoreBonks · 28/11/2012 20:25

I'm with the head. Your friend is BU.

MrsMelons · 28/11/2012 20:27

Some of the teachers at my DSs school are friends with parents - I banned it at the pre-school I was involved in as completely disagree with it as it causes all sorts of issues.

I find it a bit weird that the teachers would want to be TBH!

whathasthecatdonenow · 28/11/2012 20:29

I got elbowed in the face by a child yesterday, a complete accident. I didn't bitch about it on facebook, just added it to the broken toe, bruised ribs and sprained wrist I have suffered whilst teaching and got on with the job. Some people don't see teachers as human - it can be absolutely soul-destroying to discover that someone has been picking you apart on a social networking site.