My mother has rheumatoid arthritis and has swept it under the rug for years - often saying she doesn't have RA ie due to issues she had over her dad being addicted to antidepressant drugs, she wouldn't take any painkillers over the years or take the NHS up on physiotherapy or go to see a podiatrist until now (who said her feet are inoperable and the worst he's ever seen). I don't deny she is in a lot of pain but she would not take painkillers. She reluctantly took brufen for the past few years - but she should really have been taking something much stronger and taken charge of her illness years ago (eg she won't get a disabled sticker or use these little buggy things which she could use to go shopping because shes too proud).
Anyway, the brufen have caused her to have gastric bleeding so the Dr suggested taking her off these, giving her omeprazole (to help heal any bleeding or ulcer that might have developed) and told her to take paracetamol. Anyway, she has phoned me every day citing all the side effects that are in the patient information leaflet and coming up with all the excuses under the sun not to take them (I did pharmacology at uni - but she wont' listen to me when I tell her to take them and just because there are side effects listed, she won't necessary get any or all of them) - I am becoming increasingly frustrated and annoyed she won't take responsibility for herself (she blames other people a lot, especially my dad eg she had bakers cysts injected on and she thinks this has caused her arthritis and that my dad is to blame for this). Anyway, I've told her just to take them - she is apparently taking the omeprazole but not the paracetamol so she is likely to be in lots of pain. I'm getting it in the neck from my dad because I'm not phoning her but she is literally doing my head in and I have my own issues right now (think I have a dose of PND which I need to deal with; so anxious doesn't just cover it. I can't tell her because she'd only worry more).
Now she is again sweeping all under the rug and now looking for christmas presents (doesn't think she's going to last till Christmas see - because of the chest pains shes getting due to the omeprazole). But this week, she has been phoning me everyday about Xmas outfits. I'm trying to be pleasant and not get frustrated - but when I told her what to buy out of what she suggests - she phones me back a 2nd time to then give me another long spiel about how the woman has put the clothes away that I told her to buy etc.... anyway, told her I had to get my youngest to nursery for her settling in visit. Fine - but then she phones me AGAIN.... to suggest black patent leather shoes would go well with the dress. I totally lost it and told her I had to go ... anyway she hung up - but I am sick to the back teeth of having phone calls about Christmas clothes or side effects of drugs - when she won't help herself. I've told my dad loads of times I'd respect her more if she took charge and actually helped herself so it would help the rest of us around her (eg she could get a disabled sticker, but she makes my dad drive to the door of the shop, he has to park miles away, go to her and then go back to the car to pick her up from the door of the shop and then go home again; she won't take disabled rooms in hotels and grumbles when they only have showers and not baths and lets everyone else know it; and won't get the disabled help on flights etc. She could've had disabled benefits - which would have relieved them financially) - but I get frustrated listening to it when she won't help herself? AIBU?