To be getting pissed of with DH's use of 'we'?

[scentednappyhag]

It's driving me mad.
DD has started getting up earlier in the mornings and as a result I'm knackered. He works nights do I do 99% of parenting and about 90% housework/organisation/keeping in touch with family/everything else.
He says that 'we should just take the hit of her being tired' and push her bedtime back.
Sound advice, but 'we'?! He's not the one who has to deal with a tired, stroppy and difficult to manage toddler
He uses this type of phrasing all the time and I'm pretty sure I'm close to snapping and going on strike so 'we' can deal with it for a change.
AIBU to think he's an arse?

Sorry to anyone who misread the title and was hoping for a very different thread

I'd rather be on my own than with a disrespectful arsewipe.

How many nights a week does he work?

Do you ever get any "me" time OP?

:( Maybe 'we' need to pay for a cleaner on 'our' card a d find a new job that doesn't result in 'us' being a lazy cad.

How does he expect you to like, let alone fancy him when he is such a selfish, entitled arse of a man? I mean seriously - is it worth asking him this, just to see what his response is?

I do get some me time, I don't want to make it sound worse than it is. I go out for the evening once maybe twice a month, but only after DD is in bed. He watches her while I run errands maybe twice a month. It's nowhere near what some people have to put up with.
I just always feel like I'm on eggshells. It's starting to wear me down a bit now.

So he does practically sod all then OP doesn't he.

He swears at your child
He talks to you like a bit of shit off his shoes
You feel like you walk on eggshells

He's abusive OP.

Are you scared of him?

Night jobs turn men into big whiny, irritable, cry-baby cockbites.

I don't know how women put up with this for years. I've barely coped four months and have already asked him to change shifts 'cus all he does is sleep and moan.

Not scared clipped, just more anxious than I'd like to be. I hate how stroppy he gets with DD, she's a pain in the arse sometimes but she's two, all two year olds can be a pain in the arse
And thanks icing, I know MN isn't big on hugs so I appreciate it

Do you want your daughter to go through this OP? What about when she's a teenager? Believe me a two year old is nothing compared to that.

This is so wrong honey.

I know it's the first time I've ever heard him swear at her, but he does raise his voice more than I think is acceptable.
It's definitely not bad enough that I think she'd be better off if I left him, I don't mean to make it sound worse than it is.
Just sometimes I need to vent, and seeing as I don't really have any real friends I want to burden, MN it is

Oh dear OP, why don't you have any real friends?

Nothing to do with DH (I've had XP's drive away friends before), just that all except one have drifted away since I had DD, they're all still very 'young' with regards to lifestyle. The one I do have is wonderful, but she works all the hours god sends so we don't see each other as much as we'd like.

So you've had absive ex's then, no wonder you think what he's doing is "not so bad".

Are you far away from your parents?

So she's better off being sworn at? At the age of 2? Really?

Christ on A bike. The longer I am on MN, the more threads I read like this, and the less sympathetic I become.
Can I just cut to the chase and say: You do almost all the parenting and housework, your husband swears at your two year old and tells you to shut up when you object.
LTB

Chook. Honestly. DP is a useless twit at times. He makes the loo smell like something from the lowest pit of hell. He leaves his boots in the hall. He once said my arse was big he's too scared to do it again

But he takes DD on Saturday evenings to his mums. He takes her with him to mates places. He makes me cups of tea and takes the bins out without being asked. He lies with DD until she drops off, and is sometimes late to work because of it. And he would never, ever, ever swear at DD, who is 18m and incredibly trying.

You've got to grow some lady-balls. Shape him up or ship him out. There are much, much sexier men out there.

Whocan and Toria, I'll be here all UK night. UK day though, I'm passed out in bed.

Do you have paid work scentednappyhag? IF you're at home full time, then it's quite possible the amount of housework you do is more than reasonable and parenting too. It's jolly hard being a shift worker, if you've never had to do it, then you cannot really understand how having your body clock turned the wrong way around 6 days a week and around again the other 2 days upsets your physical and mental well-being. So not he's not the one who deals with a stroppy toddler and neither are you the one who deals with being a shift worker.

Marriage is about a partnership, it's about sharing the responsibilities equally, sometimes one half works more outside the home and does less inside and vice versa. Without hearing the other point of view from your husband's side, there is no way I could say who is the less reasonable one.

Yanbu.

My dh says this 'we' rubbish.

I'm the one that wakes in the night with every wakening, whilst he turns his back on me like he never heard.

When a problem occurs, 'we'll' tackle it like this. Erm, no, I'll be the one to tackle it.

I too do the majority of everything around the house and with the kids.

Scented, you started this thread quite lightheartedly (nice sense of humour btw) but this can't go on and will escalate. Maybe start another thread in relationships?