To think the term 'child abuse' is used to easily?

[littlemisspoppy]

Does anyone else think certain terms are used to freely on here?

I have seen people refer to things as child abuse, when in fact it might not be the best thing to do, but certainly not abuse.

We all parent differently and while I don't agree with certain things, and do judge people in my head, I know people do the same no doubt when they see me. And I certainly wouldn't say anything to them.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and if it is child abuse then something needs to be done, I just don't like it when people use the phrase for things they don't agree with?

I just think it's one thing to judge someone in your head, and another to come on here screaming 'child abuse'

I know we all have a different perception of what it is, but to me it is not because a parent gives their toddler coke in a bottle, or whatever, I think that is more ignoranance than anything, and while I don't think it's right, I would say its abusive.

Child abuse is wrong and disgusting, a different thing to something someone does that you don't necessarily agree with.

It is DEFINITELY thrown around too much. A woman who ran a baby class I attended with DD told my HV that I was abusing DD because I would hold one leg rather than two when changing her nappy. I always thought this was a bit of a flippant remark.

Yes.

I avoid half the threads on here because I get so fucking angry. I know what real abuse is and it is not piercing ears or letting boys have long hair or letting them believe in Santa.

I don't wish bad things on anyone, but a tiny part of me wonders if they would change their tune if they saw a glimpse of actual child abuse.

You are nowhere near being unreasonable.

YANBU, and it is counterproductive to use CA to label anything and everything one disagrees with.

Yanbu but then I think the word 'abuse' in general is thrown around too much.

The danger being that if people shout abuse at every little thing, it looses its importance.

It's hard though, because abuse needs to be recognised and discussed and everyone has their own boundaries.

It is thrown around a lot and sometimes it isn't strictly accurate.

but then if you look at the categories of child abuse and some of the things that are described in this way, it's often not too far from the mark.

It's like a lot of things. It isn't black or white, there are shades of grey. And just because there are serious acts of child abuse, does not mean there aren't minor ones too.

NSPCC: "Child abuse is any form of physical, emotional or sexual mistreatment or lack of care that leads to injury or harm."

I'm afraid that circumcision and piercing might be considered as harmful as it does involve cutting bits off somebody else's body or making holes in it.

If you take abuse to mean serious physical harm then yes. you're right. If people are yelling child abuse and in their mind they are putting it all up with beating your child half to death then they are nuts.

However, an abuse of a person can take many forms.

some major, some minor.

There are several different forms of abuse. physical, sexual, financial, neglect, emotional...

If you do something to someone without their consent or it cannot reasonably be established that they have the capacity to give consent or that they would want something done and it is something that is not for their benefit - ie keeping them safe - have you committed an abuse in its widest sense?

To take your example of ear piercing.

Is it child abuse?

Well, it causes no long lasting pain. But it does cause pain. Is it enough pain to constitute an abuse of someone? how much pain is enough pain to constitute an abuse of someone?

did the person ask for, need or want it to be done?

Do they have the capacity to understand their choice?

Will harm come to them if it is not done?

So no, it's not kicking your kid around the kitchen or anything! But the whole thing about what is and is not an abuse of another human being is much more than beating them.

I think it's a really complicated issue and I don't think there's one answer.

I think in the case of ear piercing, it would be something that didn't constitute 'abuse' on it's own, but it's something that would begin to create a picture if it was part of a number of other actions/behaviours which showed that parents were failing to prioritise their child's needs over their own.

But don't want to get hung up on ear piercing. It's just a convenient example.