To feel a little sorry for nephew?

[Squigglywiggly]

My bil has told his 3 year old son that Father Christmas doesn't exist, but is all a role play / fantasy that we re-enact!

My husband and I are keen for our 2 year old dd to believe in it unt she is old enough to question it.

Everyone is entitled to bring up children how they want and this year if nephew spills the beans it will be fine. But in future years we may have to avoid them over the Christmas period which would be sad.

Eep, awkward. Not my choice to tell a child but it's his child so his choice.

Personally i'm hoping to eek out a few more years of 'I'll tell Santa if you don't behave'

I think its a bit sad that he's been told. I think its part of the magic of Christmas, I love seeing my children and my nephews get excited that father Christmas is coming, but that is up to your BIL.

You could ask BIL to make sure your nephew keeps quiet. I would, if my DN told my DD that father Christmas didn't exist, I would tell him that Auntie Dozy would not be getting him a christmas gift (why should he expect a present if father Christmas doesn't exist IYSWIM?)

Why do people do that? YANBU btw.

You are considering not letting your child have contact with your nephew over this, really?

I would talk to BIL and ask how he will explain to his son that he needs to keep it a secret. It's not just your children he'll need to keep quiet in front of, it's all his friends.

I think the hassle of having a very young child who doesn't believe in Santa is worse than keeping up the myth. Personally, other than on religious grounds, I don't get why you would not want your children to believe in something so nice. Each to their own though.

I think it's sad to tell them so soon.

My dm was told aged 3 by her big brother who had just found out after having hysterics at the thought of someone coming down the chimney

She said she was just old enough to understand and remember that, and she always felt sorry that she'd never had a year or two of believing. She was a very imaginative child and would have loved the idea if she hadn't been told.

When I hear about parents not doing the Father Christmas thing I'm often curious to wonder why. Did something go wrong for them when they found out the truth or something?

I agree with tweasles.

He can tell him whatever he likes about Santa but needs to make sure his son isn't the one who spoils it for other children

This is awful imo. I love doing the whole father christmas thing.

My mum found out about father christmas when she was young but it didnt stop her making me & my siblings believe.

Iv told my dd that some people just dont believe so they dont get presents from father christmas.

That's a bit off OP. YANBU.

YANBU

But tell your child Santa doesn't come to her cousin because he doesn't believe in him.

That way if he does tell her he doesn't exist, she'll think 'well yes he would say that wouldn't he, because he doesn't believe'.

That's exactly what my 13 yr old brother did to me. I was probably the annoying child at school who,told others :(

I wouldn't avoid relatives over it, just get your DN to 'help you out' as the older one with the lovely story of FC.

Neither of mine (6,8) believe and haven't done for at least a year. We treat it is a big nudge-nudge sort of game, where they don't talk loudly about it being untrue if they want their stockings to be full I refuse to play into the whole thing so when they started saying that it wasn't real, i just said well whatever you think, but don't spoil it for anyone else.

My children have never believed on account of the fact that we never had need to mention FC until DS was about 4, and even then we told him honestly that he didn't exist but some people found it fun to pretend so he shouldn't burst anyone's bubbles. My DD (4) also knows FC doesn't exist but neither blabs. We enjoy hanging up stockings, putting out mince pies, etc. and generally going along with the whole game. It's just that we all know it's a game.

We told them FC doesn't exist because he doesn't. I wouldn't want them believing, then funding out the truth and knowing that I'd lied/made fools of them.

I don't really see letting children beleive in the magic of Santa as making fools of them!

DS didn't know for sure until he was 10. He's never felt foolish afaik. There was no trauma.

Children are generally bright enough to tell the difference between a humiliating trick and a bit of make believe - I think they'd feel more sad as they got older realising that their parents couldn't be arsed to go along with the fun.

"I wouldn't want them believing, then funding out the truth and knowing that I'd lied/made fools of them. "

FFS - some people are soooooooo precious !!

My DS (15 next month) still gets presents from Santa and his reindeer

If I had the money I'd take DS and I to Lapland to see it all first hand.

3 :(

Clipped My mum still makes me write a letter (well email) to Father Christmas and I'm 25!

Can't say I ever thought I'd been lied to when I found out - in fact felt quite grown up at being in on the secret whilst my little brothers still believed

How wonderful MathsCat.

It naturally turns into a wonderful myth doesn't it.

errrr.... do I have to remind you all that 'The best way to spread Christmas Cheer is singing loud for all to hear'?! He exists in our house. ;)

BTW - I don't think any of us are 'making fools' of our children. Bit harsh.

My mum has still never admitted to me he's not real!