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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not go on the works xmas 'do', just because i dont want to?

44 replies

takataka · 28/11/2012 12:08

it is on a friday, which is my day off, at lunchtime until...whenever, usually ends around midnight

I am already going out on the saturday with friends. I have kids activities on the saturday and sunday...and am just not feeling it this year. we have had alot of changes so i dont know half the people in the office. i work in a team of 6; only 1 of those is someone i would choose to spend time with...

OP posts:

Whocansay · 28/11/2012 14:30

YANBU. You don't have to go when it's your day off. I doubt anyone would expect you to, especially as you'd have to arrange childcare.

Freshbloodletticia · 28/11/2012 14:31

Are you me OP? I don't work Fridays either and have to get DD2 from school. We used to have a nice late lunch on a weekday and all go home around 6/7 ish, but now we seem to have lunch really early and then it is expected that we will be out drinking until late evening, at least 12 hours,which is far too long. If you are drinking you will be badly hammered and hungover and if you are not drinking it will be interminably boring. I love a drink, but I just can't do that these days, I have too much to do. And the place they are having food is shite as well.

Original poster

takataka · 28/11/2012 15:20

YY to the drinking part of it blood i really cant drink because it will mean dd1 will be unable to do her activities if i do (i will need to drive her the next morning) If i did go i would find it hard not to drink for the boredom reason; everyone else being drunk and annoying and just wanting to get through it

wHO It is expected that i will go...and enjoy it because we spend all year working hard together, its nice to go out and relax together once a year at Xmas no its not, its nice to go home and see family and friends...i think its more appealing if you work full time so it equals an afternoon off work

OP posts:

theoriginalandbestrookie · 28/11/2012 15:26

I'm in the same position as you. It's on a Friday so - day off again and is starting in the afternoon so I'd need to put DS into afterschool which he doesn't enjoy and costs me ££. Also DH is away that weekend so I wouldn't be able to drink ( which is the only way the whole thing would be tolerable) as I would then need to rush off and pick up DS.

Oh and have been to all the other Christmas dinners which have been crap, so I am not going.

YANBU

Lavenderhoney · 28/11/2012 15:29

I used to love the Christmas parties as the company I worked for threw cash a it. The goings on were amazing and would be talked about well into the next year:) Drinks free all night, free taxis, free food, live bands etc etc

Sadly, a new, less fun loving management team it's now just a beano down the pub. also I don't work there anyone, left for dh job and a baby on the way.

Op, I might show my face, then slink off, team player and all that, you can always say your babysitter just called..otherwise nice idea of bringing in cake and having a little bash at work instead.

Janeatthebarre · 28/11/2012 15:33

As I said in an earlier post I am going this year but didn't bother going for the last couple of years because I just didn't want to. The venue and location didn't appeal to me and it was an evening affair which meant going home, getting dressed up and coming back out into the cold and making my way back into the city.

However, I find it annoying when people get 'one uppish' about the office party as in "Oh, I have better things to do....", "Oh, I wouldn't dream of spending free time with people from work".
Nothing wrong with a little bit of socialising with colleagues. It adds a human dimension to work and does not mean your life outside of work is less busy or interesting or meaningful than the person who never has time to have a drink or a meal with a few people from the office.

Original poster

takataka · 28/11/2012 16:46

janeat most of the good friends I have, I have met through working. The person I consider my best friend was a work colleague 22 years ago, and the god-father of my children is someone I used to work with....

...but honestly, this time I do have better things to do and people I would rather spend my time with

OP posts:

EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/11/2012 16:50

YANBU. I'm not going to mine - I'd have to drive, so wouldn't be able to drink. Then they all do dancing. I don't dance. Rather stay at home, on sofa, with wine.

Janeatthebarre · 28/11/2012 16:53

Sorry taka, I wasn't getting at you. I've just come across people in RL who make a point of not mixing with colleagues, turning their nose up at the idea of going to the Christmas party and so on and seem to think they're giving out an image of having a much more interesting life than those saddos who like to go our for a drink with the work crowd now and again.

That being said there are Christmasses where I just thing 'no, I'd prefer to go home and drink wine and watch Christmas Family Fortunes decorate the tree.

Original poster

takataka · 28/11/2012 16:56

oh gawd endoplasmic i hadnt even considered the friggin' dancing! i cant bear crap shuffly discos

OP posts:

EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/11/2012 18:39

I think pre-children I had a higher tolerance for crap nights out. Now, I only get out very rarely - so it had better be worth it!

mysteryfairy · 28/11/2012 18:43

Can you swap your day off? My work xmas do is invariably on a day I don't work so every year I swap to work that day and then get to leave the office at lunch time and not work in the afternoon (result).

Admittedly I am past needing childcare and its not the best night out ever but getting paid to work whilst hanging out in a restaurant is nice.

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 28/11/2012 18:44

YANBU. I feel almost forced to attend ours. I decline everything else throughout the year.
I will eat my lunch, and make my excuses before coffee. And I no longer care what they think.

Original poster

takataka · 28/11/2012 20:16

really mystery??

there is no way id get away with that!!

OP posts:

HairyGrotter · 28/11/2012 20:19

YANBU, out of the 11 work Christmas do's I've attended, I've been fired from 3 after the events, therefore, I will never attend another. I'm too fucking rock and roll drunkard for work type people

TessCowDirect · 28/11/2012 20:27

YANBU I avoid work type events all year round (see introverts thread).

However, as someone who was forced had to organise them in the past, I would say it is much better if you are up front and honest about not wanting to go as soon as possible.

There is nothing more annoying than organising an event with a lot of people dropping out at the last minute.

Original poster

takataka · 28/11/2012 20:30

hairy what? you were fired for what went on at the xmas do?

OP posts:

cheeseandbiscuitsplease · 28/11/2012 20:33

I was so relieved when we were invited out with friends on same date as my works do......works do's always just lead to drunken trouble!!

COCKadoodledooo · 28/11/2012 20:50

If you don't want to go then don't, it's no biggie. I'm organising our lunch and some people have said they're not coming. I haven't hounded them for reasons
Have you paid a deposit? If you don't cancel soon you will probably lose it. Or maybe you could go for a drink/starters before heading off for the school run.

Humbug :-P

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