to be slightly relieved - pleased even - that DH has toothache?

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

DH desperately needs dental work done - fillings, at least one extraction, a thorough cleaning. His teeth are disgusting!

I have begged and pleaded with him to get his teeth seen to, but he refuses to because he is petrified. His excuse is that it will cost "thousands". As far as he is concerned, NHS dentists are butchers so he will not go as an NHS patient - despite me having gone numerous times without having been butchered!

I have even told him I will go with him to the docs to get calming meds and he can go to a specialist NHS dentist who care specifically for people with dentist phobias. He has flatly refused any kind of help.

Today he says he has toothache and that his jaw is swollen. My unspoken thoughts are "Thank FUCK!!" At last his teeth are so bad that he will HAVE to see a dentist.

Yet, after a brief discussion tonight, he says he will not go because it will "cost thousands".

But I bet it will get worse before it gets better so I will just have to wait it out. AIBU or AIB cruel???

Are any of your kids due a check up?

If so be unavailible to take them but prime the child to mention daddy's really bad tooth whilst there. As long as the dentist also sees adults it will be very hard for dh to get out of the resulting " we have spaces let's register you and book you in"

He needs to go to a dentist who offers sedation. I treat patients under sedation a few times a week and he sounds like the type of person it would be suitable for.

My DD had a tooth removed by a lovely, lovely NHS dentist. He was a locum too - tooth was a baby molar, but it 1) had decay and 2) had an infection due to being loose because new tooth was pushing underneath. Dentist checked her out, really took time to talk to her in terms she could understand, made it possible for her to give informed consent (I was well impressed, I work in health research and know how important this is!)

She had a course of antibiotics to kill the infection, then had the tooth out the next week, he used gel to numb the gum, then local anaesthetic via needle (they use the most amazing needles these days, very thin, even without gel you barely feel them).

You just need to build that trust relationship, whether private or not. DD was never under any pressure to hurry.

If it's an abscess, by this time tomorrow the likelyhood is he will be nearly in tears and rocking back and forth with the pain!

I had an abscess a month ago. It started with a dull ache on the Monday night. By 3am Tuesday morning I was wide awake, in a lot of pain. I take strong pain killers for my back problems, but even these didn't help. I had a dentist appointment at 10.00am, she couldn't even touch it, but father numbing it, she cleaned out the root canal and gave me anti biotics. It felt so much better.

By 3pm, my face was really swollen and was going read, my throat and neck was swelling and I felt terrible. I had to go back to the dentist. She did the cleaning out again, and put some sort of anti septic dressing in. I had the same thing done on the Friday. I am going back next week to have a root canal treatment done.

The pain in those few days was horrific. He won't be able it ignore it, honestly. But, poor man has got my complete and utter symapthy.

My erstwhile DP is the same. He just will not go. He even worked in Scotland for a year where it's free, and still wouldn't go. They are not manky but he's getting long in the tooth and he's younger than me. Sometimes I think it's a deal breaker for me, when I imagine those teeth old. No advice but sometimes I wish he'd be in pain so he'd have to go!

As someone who is suffering pain at the mo, I would say Yabu, but only because I can have sympathy! I realised today that the discomfort I have been in for now 3 days is most probably an abscess. I have to say this is my second this year but no where near as painful as the first so I had the stupid idea today to leave it to 'run its course'. I have googled (I know, wrong thing to do) but I am now visiting the dentist tomorrow hopefully.

It's an abscess... making an emergency doctor's appointment today to get antibiotics. He looks SO swollen and I have managed to talk him in to letting me help him.