To be annoyed about dh putting washing away "for me"

[ILiveInAPineapple]

I work full time as does dh, tonight he was supposed to take ds to football while I went to the gym.

Except he texted me to say he was late as he'd been chatting and didn't realise the time so I've taken ds to football instead of going to the gym.

I texted dh to ask him to please put the washing away while we were out as I've already prepared dinner. First of all he texted back "if I am nice about it" (I said please), and then when I said that I did say please he said ok I will do it for you now.

I had a mini text rage at him - more than half the stuff belongs to him/ ds!!!!

And now he tells me I ABU and hormonal!!!!!

So- AIBU? Perfectly prepared to be told I am and apologise if so, but I fel strongly I shouldn't have to ask for him to do it and when I do, he shouldn't then tell me he is doing it "for me"!!!

YANBU

He has been an idiot on all fronts - first for not prioritising your exercise time over his gassing, second for the sarcastic 'If you are nice about it', third for saying that he will do it 'for you'.

And fourth for not admitting the above three and blaming your hormones!

YABU... You asked him to do something. It was a request from you. He therefore did it for you. The ideal, of course, would have been that he didn't have to be asked. He'd have realised it needed doing....

YANBU - I would not have even gotten into a text argument with him. I ususally find it's best to stay calm and get revenge another way - use his toothbrush to clean the loo etc..

YANBU- it really gets on my nerves- just like if someone asks if DH is babysitting on the rare occasions I go out- it's not babysitting if it's your own child!!

I agree with Cogito

But your hackles were already up because he had let you down over picking DS up

This made me laugh a little - sorry not at you my DH piles washing on bed (yes I am very grateful he takes it upstairs) and then says "bloody clothes everywhere" if he goes up before I have chance to put it away - I just shout - not everywhere love - they are not in the wardrobe hehe

By the way, only I am allowed to say I am hormonal. If DH said it to me as a excuse not to listen I'd be seriously hacked off.

So YANBU

Is it usually "your" task? If I prepared dinner I would be doing that for my husband, as that usually falls to him. If he sorted washing, he would be doing that for me as it is usually my task.

But if he said it because he things it is automatically your job because you don't have a penis, then YABU. And in any case, he was being a @rse for not taking your son to football.

My dh does house chores for me. [eye rolling face]Seriously ... He made himself a drink of ...water. Hard to see how they manage all day without us spoon feeding them instructions.

Simple. Stop doing his washing.

I was pissed off with him already for being late because I'm trying to lose weight so I really wanted to get to the gym and now I'll have to go back out once ds is in bed (I don't like going when ds is at home because I'm always out at work!!!). So perhaps I did read too much into what he said, however he does not ever put away washing without me asking him, apparently he doesn't notice it. It's not "my job" either, it's 50/50 apart for grass cutting (him) and bathroom cleaning (me)!

Oh and I'm not hormonal but him saying that has made me really cross!!!!

My DH is lovely. He's always doing things for me. He sometimes does the washing up for me, sometimes the laundry, sometimes he tidies up for me and sometimes he closes the living room curtains for me - yes really, you can scarcely believe it can you? He always hoovers for me. I don't know how I would manage all "my" jobs without him.

I think he thinks that because I'm at home all day (I work from home), then for some reason housework is my remit. We have never discussed this, he just assumes it. I ignore it, because I don't care if he thinks he's doing me a favour, the fact is, he's the one doing the work .

Might just leave his washing in the dryer next time - I folded it up before I took ds out to football!!!!

I might be bu but it seems he probably is too!

I had to do that as dh refused to put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket. He expected me to pick them up and wash them. When he ran out of clothes he learnt where to put them.

Hmm have to say it irks me some what stuff like this. If the washing was not put away and Dh was in the house I'd expect him to put it away (without me having to ask)

to be honest if he'd insisted I'd have said please in regards to a standard household chore it'd piss me off, and I ask him how come I manage to do things without being asked/him saying please and then for a short period I wouldn't do things and when he asked 'where's dinner? I would repond that he hadn't ask nor had he said please.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander (however the goslings would be still fed and taken care of regardless!)

YANBU - he should have done it becuase it needed doing. He should also have kept an eye on the time so you could keep you time at the gym.

Much to the horror of MN I don't do DH's washing at all. It puts a stop to stupid situations like this. I don't find anything wrong with partners doing washing for each other, but if one partner expects the other to pick the stinky undercrackers from the floor then that's going way way way too far IMO. Plus if one partner never does any washing but then complains about something not being washed they deserve to have their entrails put on a hot cycle.

YANBU - semantics matter. I used to (and still do occasionally) have this issue with my DH. He doesn't 'help' to do housework - the implication there is that it is my job. It may not be what he meant and he may have been trying to have a joke with the 'if you ask me nicely' but then not seeing how his behaviour and language makes you feel and blaming it on hormones - that's the last refuge of a man who knows you're right and won't admit it!

I might just go on strike and see what happens with washing then, ds has plenty of clothes to keep him going, and so do I!

I'm going to chew him out free ds goes to bed about the hormones thing, I'm still quietly seething while I am sat here watching 30 five yr olds run around with footballs!!!

How does one solve the problem of one's DS2 being too lazy to put away the clothes he has just taken off and instead putting them all in the dirty washing basket, clean or not ?

Show him The Politics of Houswork

Stop doing his washing?

Housework, ffs.