for being throughly pissed off with DS's school?

[MistletoeAndTomHardyPlease]

Firstly they send home a sponsor form to raise yet more money for the school.

Now I do NOT begrudge own clothes day for £1 and such things.

But this form stated that they will be having a sponsored sports event, kicking balls into goals and such.

Now they get PRIZES depending on how much they raise through sponsorship (this seems to be run by a company by the way, professional forms and my sisters son got the same at his school a few miles away)

It started at a sticker for any sponsorship then jumped to a sticker and a badge for £10, a sticker, badge and a medal for £20 ect ...

It had an example at the top of the form 'John Smith .... £25 donation'

Now we only have my mum and sisters who could donate and they are seriously skint at the moment, to the point where I couldn't even ask.

DS was talking about how everyone was going to get a badge meaning DH and I had to sponsor £10 (we have 2 DS in the school so ended up at £20)

AIBU to think its too much to expect from parents?? Just before Christmas?

Of course DS didn't understand the pressure and kept saying, I'm going to get ALL the prizes ... ( something like £40 donation needed)

The emphasis was on how much they could raise to get prizes, not how many goals they could get so it was bloody pointless them doing the goals really?!

I know its upto us how much we donate but when theres a table of prizes for getting higher donations its not exactly easy to just give them a pound is it??

Like I said, own clothes day...fine, bake sale ... fine

but i just think this is too much.

AND TO TOP IT OFF DS went to 'score his goals' at the local sports centre yesterday and said no one had any dinner!!!

They took them to the sports centre before lunch, didn't have anything to eat or a drink and didn't get home till 4pm!!!

This certainly isn't a new idea. Does anybody else remember those NSPCC sponsor forms where you got little badges with the different characters and the more money you raised the more badges you got? I remember really wanting the Scraps (I think?) badge but I can't remember if I got ebough money in the end.

I think it's fine. There's no obligation for you to do it at all and, for those who can or want to, it's money for a good cause.

YABU

just do not get involved with it, you do not have to.
I don't even send money for non uniform day - why should I, my child is not a charity fundraiser.
Just say NO and explain why to your child.

We did say no at first, but DS got really upset that he was going to get in trouble for not bringing any money in, then once we gave DS2 money we couldn't not give DS1 any.

Sponsor the usual amount you're comfortable with, explain that you're not made of money and work out your own reward system for achieving what ever the sponsorship thing is. i.e. if you kick 50 balls in the goal you can open one of your presents on Christmas Eve, if you kick 25 in the goal you can stay up 30 mins later on a saturday night/ New years eve.

Oh thats a good idea Mis!

That's a hideous scheme - akin to buying really massive poppies so everyone knows how much you've donated - really tacky.
I would do what poster above said - give normal donation and reward son for goals. And write to the school complaining that the event was poorly managed/communicated in terms of food, drink, length of day etc.

We had something very similar when my DS was 4. He asked for £10 and said his teacher had said if they were all 'sponsored' £10 then the school would be able to get sports equipment that the school needed. When I questioned £10 for kicking balls he got really upset because of what his teacher had told them. At that age he repeated information verbatim and I knew from what he was repeating that it had come from the teacher so he wasn't making it up. He came home with a signed photo of some unknown sports 'celebrity' at the end of the day. I thought that telling small children they needed to bring £10 was pretty disgusting. I gave it to him but I wished I'd said something to the school.

They also used to take them to a book fair during the day & get them to 'choose' a book they wanted & write the name of it on a form. So when picking up at the end of the day, I'd be given a form by DS & he'd ask to pick up his book, not understanding that I'd have to pay for it! This was so the school could get free books for their library (a commission type scheme from the book company).

My DS is now at a different school that doesn't take this approach & I am far more likely to donate money because they go about it an up-front way and don't manipulate the children as part of it.

ohh we had this recently

the ncpcc being going into assemblies of local primaries and selling it to the kids. It emcloses spomsor form for some event and says they can earn badges personally I think this is wrong.

IU was quite happy other week to send dd in with couple of quid for children in need 1 non uniform and some money for facepaints, games they had apenny trail.

But going into dds school with character dressed up in suit is just wrong its like door to door charity people /people in street targeting your child and guilting you.

The money and form was suppost to be in last tuesday which was pre pay day. its been extended to today so maybe not many takers.
My main worry is dd feeling left out by it.

but decided im annoyed with way they went about it so stick with no doing it as have to pay for

panto trip
3xmas fairs
xmas party
trip to santa
given to children in need last week.

all before xmas.

oddly enough was looking at nsppcc letters from santa £5 each and thinking might do that instead rather than faffing about wuith sponsorship.

'In my day' you had to do something to be sponsored, so the child would bake cakes and sell them, wash cars, do errands, put the neighbours bins out etc in exchange for sponsorship. Remember all those Blue Peter charity fundraisers etc? We just expect to have to give our kids the money now. It's a shame. I'm the same, I wouldn't like to ask neighbours etc, but it is probably good for our kids to learn they have to work for it, or donate their pocket money, because that's really teaching them about giving

'Working for it' by walking round a school pitch or kicking a footie just isn't the same, neither is raising funds for the school imo. Why aren't they raising money for children in need instead for example?

'Working for it' by walking round a school pitch or kicking a footie just isn't the same, neither is raising funds for the school imo. Why aren't they raising money for children in need instead for example?

YANBU. The sponsorship event itself I wouldn't mind - although before Christmas is never going to be the best time for people financially. The offering of rewards for raising more & more money is wrong though, as is the pressure put on young children to raise £10 just to get a blummin no doubt crappy badge!

I can't remember exactly what the "event" was now but when DS2 was at primary school (Yr 5 I think), they were told they had to bring a donation in for something or other and DS2's class teacher told the children "and by donation, I mean a proper one - at least £10, none of your £1 coin nonsense". Said teacher later claimed he was "joking" when a number of parents went to the HT to complain . I know the teacher - he wasn't joking .

I'm sure there will be other parents who feel the same as you.
Maybe a few of you could go and have a chat to the headteacher about it?
I've got two DC at the same school so I split the 'suggested donation' amount between them.
Those bookfares are a complete rip off. I know the school gets some money back for all that are sold, but I got both my sons a book from Amazon for under half the price they would have costed at the fare!

I don't have any at school yet, but this sounds awful. I would def speak to the school and highlight the issues from a parent's perspective. The school may be not see it the same way, being focussed on raising money instead of the impact on pupils and families.

I can't remember exactly what the "event" was now but when DS2 was at primary school (Yr 5 I think), they were told they had to bring a donation in for something or other and DS2's class teacher told the children "and by donation, I mean a proper one - at least £10, none of your £1 coin nonsense". Said teacher later claimed he was "joking" when a number of parents went to the HT to complain hmm. I know the teacher - he wasn't joking angry.

thats so wrong. ds1 school is allways raising moneu for one thing or another. the school. children in need, water iad and christmass party with in the last 2 months. the water aid comapny people came and gave a talk about it in their asembly and asked for any donations. he came home and emptied his money box to take to school the next day. ( theres only about 1.40 in there in change. but had the teacher said that to him i would be fumming.

i think its also just as important to teach the children about others problems/ and struggles just as much as the money that is raised. you dont go to a school and expect 1000's of pound. you just dont. its more of them taking part and helping and think iong about others.

op im not sure if your bu or not. i can see why they give little token for set amount. to encourage as much sponsering BUT it is slightly tacky and could no doubt make some feel bad about it.

When I was at school, in the 1970's, I was not allowed to take part in any sponsored events as my dad felt the state should fund education not the parents and raising money for non-essentials was the thin end of the wedge. I can remember quite enjoying my rebel status to be honest.
I'm not as hard line as my father but I think he has a point.

OP I would say something to the school about this as it sounds pressured and badly organised.

Oh, I've just remembered another one! There was a school raffle. I was accosted by a ticket seller just as I was leaving in the morning & luckily I had a £1 on me to get one. They had the raffle during the school day. All the children with a ticket in their name were called out & given some kind of token gift (a really small soft toy keyring type thing). The others were given a sticker that said "Better luck next time" & told it was because their parents hadn't bought a ticket for them. DS said to me "I'm so glad you bought a ticket because I thought I wasn't going to get anything".

Or the day they all came out of the classroom with a little fairy cake they'd made that day. They'd written a letter that they handed over that said "if you like the cake I made, please buy it for 50p". The teacher was standing at the door with her hand out waiting for the money. There was a bit of borrowing change going on as not all parents had change on them (how do you say no to your 5 year old who is standing there with a little cake they are proud of?!). In the commotion, a few parents just legged it with their DCs and the cakes, without paying . I know 50p is not a lot, but the requests were just constant.

At that school, it was sometimes hard to get through the playground because of all the child sellers they put out after school. Waving magazines in your face, asking you to buy cakes from stalls, pay to play a game... It went on for months. Apparently to teach the children about enterprise. As DS told me: "My school is a business and my teacher says we need to make money".

It was an academy school with an excellent Ofstead report, but the constant fundraising/harassment spoiled all the nice things about it for me. They used to send texts during the day reminding you to buy things from the children's stalls later that day

When ds1 was in Y1&2 they would occasionally do cookery in class - a slip was sent home asking for a 10-20p contribution to the cost of the ingredients (one of the mums was a good cook and used to go in to do it with small groups of the kids) which seemed reasonable and if you weren't able to pay then that was fine too, but you didn't have to do it on the spot, just hand it in to the teacher later so nobody else would have known how much you paid.

Totally unreasonable to expect parents to hand over 50p for a cupcake there and then!

I would also definitely complain to the head teacher - about the organisation so the kids missed lunch and an afternoon's worth of lessons (one thing doing it in a sports lesson - another spending a whole afternoon doing it. Hopefully they didn't pay for a coach to take them to the sports centre!) Plus I'd also complain about the scheme itself, putting emphasis on the money and not the goals scored. Rubbish.

Or maybe you should suggest that the prizes are awarded no on the actual amount of money given but the biggest percentage of disposable income that is donated. So if you have £20 left at the end of the week for 'stuff' then giving a £2 donation means you have given 10% of your spare money and that's a big amount. Whereas if somebody else has £200 left at the end of the week and they gave £2 then they have only given 1% of their spare money and therefore not that big a donation. Even if they gave £10 that would still only be 5% of their spare money and thus still would get a lesser reward than the person that gave £2.

I know, I know, unworkable in real life but might make them stop and think if you suggested it...

My kids did this football one ...dd2 plays and was really wanting the top 'prize' of a stadium trip ...she raised the money and didn't get the prize ...she was gutted

Is that the supersports one?
It doesn't even all go to the school. A fair proportion goes to the people that come in, I believe.

That came to our school. I explained I couldn't do it and the nine year old was fine with it. It helps that she thinks football is mince:o

Have heard that there is a company that comes into schools to help them raise money through sport promising prizes that then don't materialise, there was a thread on here months ago. It cou,d well be the one DeWe mentioned.

It would be worth checking it out

I run a lot of fundraising activities for a school. However, we reward the EFFORT involved in raising money, not the amount of money. So, for example, someone who swims 4 lengths and gets a rich relative to sponsor them £20 a length would not be viewed as highly as someone (secondary) who actually organised the sponsored swim, arranged the venue / participants / collected the money but only actually raised £1 themselves. This is the only way of making it about effort, not about family circumstances as few people get sponsorship from outside the immediate family and times are tough.

I would suggest to the school that stickers / badges are for effort, not amount - that is very unfair.

Our school did the football thing and when it came to giving out the prizes they ran out - so my son went without. . . . . until I kicked up a huge fuss.

I send in $20 for the first fund raiser of each and every year and then say no more, my kids usually win the prize for the first one and then that's it as far as i'm concerned.